Giving up

[Ashley-Kate]

hey there well i had a farely hard week , a friend of mine in the heat of an argument called me fat! although i am under my healthy weight she called me a name that i have been waiting so long to hear from my friends to approve what i see when i look in the mirror when she told me that all my friends wanted to beet her to a pulp but i ever since won't stop getting on my friends bck trying to bug them enough for them to just get so ticked off that they tell me i am fat. i don't know why i am doing this and honestly everything on this aspect of my life is gone down hiill... i began purging again a lot more than i was and i am restricting to an extent that at the end of the day i can honestly say that i did not eat cause i never keep anything in my body is deprived and begining to be ill.i can't stop myself i am like a machine or a robot i wake up extremly early to go to the gym after school i am at the gym i spend half of my awake hours at the gym..but i am living on coffee my body trembles and i am extremly agitated but i can't stop i am scared cause i feel lost i think sometime well i just won'T eat or just a couple more lbs then i lse it then it goes to another couple more and so on and so forth what to do when you feel so consumed by the anorexia and bulimia
yours trully
ashley-kate

 

[just mary]

Re: giving up

Hi Ashley-kate,

I have to be honest, I don't know much about eating disorders but you sound like your in a lot of pain right now. Is there anything that makes you feel better other than purging or over-excersizing? Is there anything you can do that can take your mind off of things (eg. art gallery, museum, a walk by the water or in a nice green space)? It just rained here and there is a big double rainbow in the sky, it's amazing. Don't give-up.

Take care,

 

[Holly]

Re: giving up

Dear Ashley-Kate,
I personally do not know alot about eating disorders, I just wanted to let you know, I will be thinking of you, Hang in Ashley-Kate.
I hope you can get the help to overcome this disorder, you deserve to be happy.
Take care Holly

 

[poohbear]

Re: giving up

Ashley Kate, it's hard to think your friends would even HINT at the bad three letter word :yikes: you said, especially if they know what's going on in your life. Just know that life is soooooo much less about how you look than what you do! :goodjob: --Poohbear

 

[Halo]

Re: giving up

Ashley-Kate, I can relate in a way about restricting as I have done that many times in the past....I only now wish that I could get by behind to the gym (at all). Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am here for you anytime and I truly have hope that you will get through this hard time. I have to wonder if the "friend" is truly a friend considering what she said ??

Good Luck
Nancy

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: giving up

hi ,
the thing that is really stupid in some way is that i am trying now to get my other friends to say the same, trying to get the m to burst and just tell me the truth that they really think i need ot lose weight.. i am etting on there nerves and i am doing the same with my boyfriend.. i have been getting more and more obsessive about everything lately and it is drinving many people crazy like my tooth brush can't be on the left side of the counter or i freek and can't brush my teeth until i wash my tooth brush 11 times. i am very stuck on everything clean and germs because i always felt that fod was like a toxic product i am putting in me and their comes the reason that i purge when i eat or i starve myself but it was never that big on everything else only on my e-d but now everything is affected my personnality changes i am mean to everybody i canstantly tell everybody that i am fat they all comment on how i should slow down on everything i do like the gym but i can't i am spinning out of control and i don'T know what to do.
yours
trully
ashley-kate

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: giving up

What you need to do is get in touch with your psychologist or other therapists or support workers as soon as possible, Ashley. You've been here before - you can get past it again.

 

[Diana]

Re: giving up

Dr. Baxter is right Ashley-Kate. You're not in a position to be left on your own right now. I don't know what happened with the therapy, but you should have been continuing it with a lot of help. You'll have to be very serious and loud about it with everyone. Tell them you need and want the help and that you are NOT OK.