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Well I'm on my third week of 200 mg of zoloft and the Pdoc says we should start seeing results between now and week 8. I still find the need for clonezapam but feel like something is going on to suppress the anxiety. Last night I had acid reflux when I took the Zoloft before bed (with milk). This used to happen once in a while when I took Zoloft before. It takes about 30 minutes (I took a zantac as soon as I felt it starting) to go away but in the mean time I end up spitting out a lot of phlegm (I know that's a bit gross). I'll have to ask my Dr. if that dose of Zoloft comes up with the phlegm and do I need to do anything about it or just chalk it up to a missed dose.
I haven't posted in a while. I'll be 6 weeks on Zoloft after the weekend and I'm getting pretty discouraged.
I've been able to get through a couple of days (like today) without taking a clonezapam but still feel a lot anxiety and some depression at times. I'm also doing mindful based cognitive therapy with my Pdoc and have found it difficult to stay mindful but I think the amount of ruminating I do is less, likely due to the zoloft.
I'm not sure, I just feel crappy most of the time unless I pop a clonezapam. I'm trying to accept the anxiety and observe the sensations and feelings in a non-judgemental way and this has helped at times but it's very tough to sustain. I have been pretty hopeful that the Zoloft would be the answer as I was fine when I was on it for over 20 years. I know I may be jumping the gun and will need to wait the full 8 weeks or so at the max. dosage but I fear I may not get back to where I was just a few short months ago when I stopped the Zoloft.
My Pdoc is being pretty forthright with me in saying there is no magic pill I can take and I have to accept the anxiety and work through it minute by minute and day to day. I know that's likely the best route in the long run as mindfulness and cognitive skills will improve my quality of life if I can stick with them. He has also been thinking of supplementing the zoloft with something but won't do that for another couple of weeks.
Well, thanks for listening out there. I'm not sure what the future holds for me as I am supposed to retire soon and sure don't want to spend it feeling like this.
I've been able to get through a couple of days (like today) without taking a clonezapam but still feel a lot anxiety and some depression at times. I'm also doing mindful based cognitive therapy with my Pdoc and have found it difficult to stay mindful but I think the amount of ruminating I do is less, likely due to the zoloft.
I'm not sure, I just feel crappy most of the time unless I pop a clonezapam. I'm trying to accept the anxiety and observe the sensations and feelings in a non-judgemental way and this has helped at times but it's very tough to sustain. I have been pretty hopeful that the Zoloft would be the answer as I was fine when I was on it for over 20 years. I know I may be jumping the gun and will need to wait the full 8 weeks or so at the max. dosage but I fear I may not get back to where I was just a few short months ago when I stopped the Zoloft.
My Pdoc is being pretty forthright with me in saying there is no magic pill I can take and I have to accept the anxiety and work through it minute by minute and day to day. I know that's likely the best route in the long run as mindfulness and cognitive skills will improve my quality of life if I can stick with them. He has also been thinking of supplementing the zoloft with something but won't do that for another couple of weeks.
Well, thanks for listening out there. I'm not sure what the future holds for me as I am supposed to retire soon and sure don't want to spend it feeling like this.
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I mean mainly anxious but also depressed at the prospect of being this way for the foreseeable future. I am using the clonazepam when my anxiety gets severe. Today I rode it out since I wasn't at work. I'm trying to accept the anxious feelings and experience them without attaching a lot of meaning like "will I be this way for the rest of my life?" and other "what if's". I need to stop the ruminating as it becomes a spiral of getting anxious about being anxious. When I step back, I suppose the main source of anxiety besides wondering when I'll feel better is reinventing myself in retirement. I thought I had a plan (which I do) I just am for some reason fearful of the change even though I'd love to be rid of the stress of my job. I don't think I realized how much I identify with contributing at work. I need to replace that with other pursuits which is what the plan is all about.
I was interested in knowing if your doctor prescribed the clonazepam with instructions to take it when you felt anxiety due to circumstances during the day, and to take it as needed. Or was the instruction to take it at specific times during the day?
Do you feel you are lamenting or grieving over the cessation of your job and career?
Do you feel you are lamenting or grieving over the cessation of your job and career?
Yes, my doctor said to take the clonazepam when I felt the anxiety was getting too severe, as needed. On average I have been taking 1 mg a day. On the retirement issue, it wasn't really an issue when I had the depression back in June. I was looking forward to it. The depression happened because I went off Zoloft (February) and then had an illness that had some symptoms of lung cancer so I thought this was where I was headed and I got really anxious about that and then major depression. The anxiety about retirement is mostly about what if I retire and am still dealing with GAD symptoms? I've delayed retirement to try to get over the worst but I'm at a point now where I don't know when that will be. The zoloft doesn't seem to be helping me as much as it did before and the CBT with mindfulness techniques is going to take time.
If your doctor is recommending a minor tranquilizer for situational anxiety to be used as needed, you may want to ask your doctor if using a form of another minor tranquilizer, (same medication family) that was developed in Canada, might be right for you.
The medication is Ativan Sublingual, and is identical to Ativan oral, but must be prescribed as Ativan Sublingual. There is no generic version of the sublingual form, although there is generic oral lorazepam. The sublingual is formulated specifically for situational anxiety and panic disorder because by placing it under the tongue, the medication is absorbed more quickly than by swallowing.
Many people find this to be a more effective alternative to other forms of minor tranquilizers when used for this purpose, and because of the way this particular medication is metabolized, there are metabolic advantages to using this together with the Zoloft you currently use.
Your doctor should be familiar with all this, so you may want to ask if this might be a suitable option in your situation.
I'm having difficulty following your rationale here.
To me, from my own experience, both as already being retired and having retired during a time of anxiety and depression myself, the most therapeutic time in my recovery came when I stopped working, and left every bit of work related memory behind me.
In your case, how is remaining on the job helping you heal from stress, anxiety and depression?
Good question. I just know that when I've been at home during this ordeal it hasn't been that helpful to sit around (in fact I got more and more anxious) so I tried to keep busy but found it hard to stay one step ahead of the anxiety. There's only so much you can do. Sometimes it's nice to just relax and that I can't do very well, yet. Eventually when I was able to go back to work it was therapeutic to engage with people and solve problems but I think that now the stress is building and I'm not seeing much reason to put off retirement. I think I need to cut the cord and make the leap and deal with the anxiety without the stress of work. It's encouraging to hear that you have done this facing similar problems as I'm facing. I'm just concerned about all the extra time I'll have on my hands when I'm not in a good mental place to enjoy it - sort of a chicken and egg problem.
Retirement is hardly sitting around, and it should not be. I don't have enough hours in the day to do all the things I would like to do.
The key is "doing the things I would like to do"
The day you pull the plug on the job, is the day YOU decide what you're going to do.
If you have ever had thoughts of projects, fantasies about travel, volunteer involvement, hobbies that you've started, desire to learn to play bridge, play a musical instrument, swim the English Channel, learn Yoga, study Archaeology....whatever, now is the time to implement those plans.
I started a model ship back in '72 that I'm still working on, but keeps getting interrupted by my carving projects, travel, golf, Forum work, condo committees and my wife's To-Do lists.
What interests have you had during your lifetime, that you've put off or dropped due to a lack of time? Do you like to travel? Escape from "Cold Canadian Air" during winter?
The key is "doing the things I would like to do"
The day you pull the plug on the job, is the day YOU decide what you're going to do.
If you have ever had thoughts of projects, fantasies about travel, volunteer involvement, hobbies that you've started, desire to learn to play bridge, play a musical instrument, swim the English Channel, learn Yoga, study Archaeology....whatever, now is the time to implement those plans.
I started a model ship back in '72 that I'm still working on, but keeps getting interrupted by my carving projects, travel, golf, Forum work, condo committees and my wife's To-Do lists.
What interests have you had during your lifetime, that you've put off or dropped due to a lack of time? Do you like to travel? Escape from "Cold Canadian Air" during winter?
Yes, I have a long list of pursuits in my plan including rediscovering the piano and guitar, taking a course in creative writing, getting some training in counseling, mountain biking, golfing and kayaking, yoga, etc. I just know that in my current state I won't feel much like doing a lot these activities. I'm hoping I'll be better soon but I don't have a time table and just have to go with the process. How were you able to transition from anxiety/depression to getting active in rewarding activities? I would have to force myself if I retired today. I think I'd need to devote a few months to getting better, especially if there's another medication change.
In my case, much of the basis for my crash was job related, not the work, but circumstances with the employer.
Getting away from it in itself provided some relief, then with the help on continued therapy and medication and strong family support, I succeeded in regaining control over my life.
I understand that it might be difficult to engage in the pleasurable activities that you enjoy, but you might find that by trying one of these, say the activity you love best, just a little at a time, might help to break the ice.
For me, I began doing some carving in the early stages, and found I was able to escape the demons in the solitude of the project.
It might not be the right time just yet, for you to make grand projects, but consider one of your interests, that would allow you to work at it alone, at your own pace, where you might experience small successes of accomplishment. This might rebuild your confidence and thereby start the new phase of your life.
Not necessary to answer, but would you share the kind of work or profession you would be retiring from? I came from a sales background.
Getting away from it in itself provided some relief, then with the help on continued therapy and medication and strong family support, I succeeded in regaining control over my life.
I understand that it might be difficult to engage in the pleasurable activities that you enjoy, but you might find that by trying one of these, say the activity you love best, just a little at a time, might help to break the ice.
For me, I began doing some carving in the early stages, and found I was able to escape the demons in the solitude of the project.
It might not be the right time just yet, for you to make grand projects, but consider one of your interests, that would allow you to work at it alone, at your own pace, where you might experience small successes of accomplishment. This might rebuild your confidence and thereby start the new phase of your life.
Not necessary to answer, but would you share the kind of work or profession you would be retiring from? I came from a sales background.
I'm a manager of an engineering operation for a large company. Definitely stressful but rewarding at times - stressful is winning right now. I may get back into the field some day but that's not even in the picture right now. I appreciate all your great suggestions and advice Steve. I have been dabbling with the piano and guitar and have done some biking. I also have a few projects half done here that I haven't been motivated to finish. When I tried working on the projects before my heart just wasn't in it and I ended up making mistakes and decided to leave well enough alone. Thanks again.
Thread Split to Retirement Projects..
Back on the topic of my struggle with GAD and depression I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I think it is going to be pivotal in my road to recovery. As I've said, I've been on Zoloft for 6 weeks now and have had minimal improvement. He is trying to move me away from relying on the Zoloft and clonazepam and be more reliant on what is within me to control. I'm finding this difficult as the more anxious I get the more I ruminate and get sucked down. I think his approach (mindfulness cognitive therapy) is probably the correct one for me as I do want to grow from this and not just rely on medication although I seem to have some hereditary predisposition. I've had a tough few days of considering the possibility that zoloft may not be the answer this time (it worked well for me for years) and that I'm staring at a long period of recovery going into retirement. I may ask if I can get some more intensive help throughout the process as, although I practice mindfulness every day I don't find it making any foothold yet. The only relief I get seems to be when I take a clonazepam and then I can think more clearly for a while. I know it's probably a matter of baby steps and celebrating some milestones which I've had a few of but I still am very anxious and seem to start each day with a feeling of dread and a pit in my chest and tingling all over. I know I'm rambling a bit so i'll stop. I'm not sure what anyone can offer - perhaps some ideas on what to ask my pdoc going forward.
One of the realities of treating the illness of depression, given today's understanding of the illness and the accepted medications and treatment strategies is that it can be a trial and error process. There is no "one size fits all" medication, and often times the doctor has to modify the prescription of anti depressant several times, both by dosage and even compound, until the right combination is found that relieves your symptoms.
This process takes time and patience and perseverance on your part.
One of the best documentary programs I have ever seen on this subject aired several years ago on PBS hosted by Jane Pauley, who became an advocate for taking mental illness out of the shadows, following her own experience with bi-polar disorder.
Have a look at the online video of this program TAKE ONE STEP: Caring for Depression, with Jane Pauley
I think you might find it very informative.
This process takes time and patience and perseverance on your part.
One of the best documentary programs I have ever seen on this subject aired several years ago on PBS hosted by Jane Pauley, who became an advocate for taking mental illness out of the shadows, following her own experience with bi-polar disorder.
Have a look at the online video of this program TAKE ONE STEP: Caring for Depression, with Jane Pauley
I think you might find it very informative.
My psychiatrist is considering upping the Zoloft to 250 mg or adding Wellbutrin to the 200 mg of Zoloft I've been taking for 7 weeks. I've noticed slight improvement this week but am still dealing with a lot of anxiety. He can see that I'm suffering a lot and the mindfulness CT is going to take time. I'm finding it difficult to stay positive but will see him on Monday to decide which way to go.
Will be looking forward to hearing what the doctor's recommendation will be.
Progress takes time as your medication resets brain chemistry, however as long as there might be more good days than bad days in the way you feel, celebrate the improvements in your health.
Glad to hear there has been some improvement.
I'm pretty nervous about meeting my psychiatrist later today. It seems every move I've made, first with my GP going onto Cipralex, and then switching to Zoloft with the Pdoc has been the wrong move. Although there has been slight improvement (at least my wife seems to have noticed) and I'm not quite as anxious, I leery of making changes, even though I understand Wellbutrin can be an effective augmentation drug for Zoloft. The other part of the therapy, mindfulness based cognitive therapy, is hard for me to evaluate as I seem to slip back into old thought patterns, especially when I'm already anxious. It's difficult to accept the anxiety with open arms, and "turn the mind toward it" rather than falling into the trap of ruminating and avoidance.
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