Hello,
I have had problems with my husband and we are still struggling . Lately he reacts in a violent way; breaking some things, pushing others (although he only breaks special things that normally reflect what we are discussing about) and or slamming doors very hard. I know that his father used to hit his mother and he still remembers how when he wanted to defend her, was also mistreated...so his only possibility was to hit doors (he said he oncebroke one). I am afraid that this pattern will repeat so I want to stop it before he feels tempted to do something aginst me. What can I do or say when he gets violent that makes him think of the way he is acting? I have just let things happen and not show up when he does it but I do believe that I should do something to make him realize that he is repeating the behaviour of his father but I don't want to take risks.BTW we have no children (luckily). He refuses to take therapy. Hope someone has had experiences that can share,,,thanks in advance.
I have had problems with my husband and we are still struggling . Lately he reacts in a violent way; breaking some things, pushing others (although he only breaks special things that normally reflect what we are discussing about) and or slamming doors very hard. I know that his father used to hit his mother and he still remembers how when he wanted to defend her, was also mistreated...so his only possibility was to hit doors (he said he oncebroke one). I am afraid that this pattern will repeat so I want to stop it before he feels tempted to do something aginst me. What can I do or say when he gets violent that makes him think of the way he is acting? I have just let things happen and not show up when he does it but I do believe that I should do something to make him realize that he is repeating the behaviour of his father but I don't want to take risks.BTW we have no children (luckily). He refuses to take therapy. Hope someone has had experiences that can share,,,thanks in advance.
