Anastasia_K
Account Closed
Hello everyone. My story will be a long one because I want to tell anything and analyze it in a way.
I was born in a family by accident. My father abandoned me since a baby and my mother was in her late teens when she got me. So she was irresponsible and never cared to listen to my problems or come to school etc. My mother back there wanted to abort me but it was late, so her mother helped her to keep a good reputation in the family and the friends. You might think that it was my grandmother's good heart but that's not it. I was physically and psychologically abused by her a lot of times. I was mischievous as a kid and i did like to run around the house or playing. So she would call me loud by beating me with many tools like hangers or belts. When I was going to parks to play with other kids and i was FULL of bruises, my grandmother would threaten me to not tell to any kids that she abused me. And when their parents were looking at me and they were asking where i got the bruises on my face and body, my grandmother was telling them that i fell down the stairs and various excuses. I was forgiving her in a way because she is part of my family.
At school I received alot of psychological abuse too. I never understood the reason; I was in good terms with guys and i would do stupid things with them (it was elementary after all) but most girls would say bad things behind my back and they would never sit with me on the desk. This kind of abuse continued to the middle school too but this time they would make fun of my overbite. I tried to make myself look really good and when i entered high school, girls would call me a whore and guys would sexually harass me. My family never supported me these years. My mother would be around guys for sex and she would even pay them. (She still does despite her salary being low.)
My father never cared either, he was around some woman with another child. My grandmother would always defend her daughter even if she was doing that kind of things and she would never care about my opinion. Back there in school i was beginning my mother and grandmother to aid me at school with tuitions to learn the subjects better and enter university. Never. They ignored me and i could not work back there because i was a minor so i was unable to pay.
I have graduated from HS now without able to enter university but i want to try to study something certain but the college is very expensive so i gather money with my low salary job. The situation is pretty much the same and even worse. My grandmother continue to say things like:
-You are a failure, i know you will die in the streets.
-Nobody would date you, i was married when i was 22 and your mother was married when she was 19. And every girl that is successful is getting married young.
-You can't study, you are too stupid for that.
-That's why everyone laughed at you in school because you were crazy and retarded and now you are all alone.
-I didn't went to any school but i was lucky to find a rich husband so i'm lucky unlike you.
-My children are the best and they are nothing like you.
Some of the comments she is telling me.
Here and 2 years, her son came to live in the house because he divorced with his wife. He said he would stay for a few months but he lied. He is an alcoholic and my grandmother has put him to physically abuse me. He is fat and it is difficult for a skinny person as i to oppose him. A month ago he was drunk and he came in the shower while i was nude and he grabbed me outside punching me.
A year ago, some new neighbor came to live next to us and since then, my life has worsened. He is in his late 30s. My grandmother started to ass-kiss him and become close to him. At first I didn't care but she started to involve him with me. She started to tell him EVERYTHING about me; That I'm single, that i did not pass into university, that kids at school would make fun at me, etc. For awhile, he was hitting on me but i told him that i don't care about him. Since then, he turned against me. Whenever me and my grandmother have a quarrel he always come in the house. He is calling me names along her and in front of me, she tell him about my personal life again.
Two days ago, my grandmother tried to hit me with a knife. She tried to stab me in the stomach saying that i'm a burden to this house and i should disappear for good because i was a child by accident. I had no other choice but to punch her arm and drop the knife. She called that guy again and she lied that i hit her without mentioning the knife incident. And whatever i tell him that she tried to attack me, he won't believe it. She was asking him to call the police and arrest me but he didn't do it. And instead he is telling me that he will give me an amount of money to leave this place and never see each other again. I am thinking to accept but what if is this a trap? I don't have many choices.
Today, I eavesdropped her, while she was talking to my mother and she was telling her that she want to pay 2 guys to beat me for good somewhere outside.
Perhaps it sounds impossible to you, but it happens. I don't lie either, my grandmother always considered me a burden and whenever i am asking my mother something she is getting in the way. Asking me things like "Why do you bother her?And do whatever you want we don't care. " Now i have a job, my salary is low and she is forcing me to pay for bills while her daughter is giving money to her boyfriend to stay with her. And if i don't pay a bill and buy something i like, like jewelry or shoes she is starting quarrels.
Under those circumstances i'm not able to gather money for college and to leave the house. It needs ALOT of money and i don't know what to do. I reported to the police about it and they didn't believe me. They took my info and they believed my grandmother, her children and that neighbor.
I really want to leave the house. But i don't have any friends but just a few good online ones that live in near countries but i'm not sure if i can trust them. And i have lost a lot of confidence mainly because my grandmother say those bad things. I feel like i deserve this hell, like i committed some sort of crime and i'm a failure. Is it my very own fault if children at school would try to use my kindness and then backstab me and mentally abuse me? Isn't natural to feel anger towards people when they treat you with that behavior? And finally, is it so wrong if i want to study? All of the people i know study and their family support them but my grandmother is just saying that i'm too dumb for it and it will be wasted money.
Your advice on this? Thank you.
I was born in a family by accident. My father abandoned me since a baby and my mother was in her late teens when she got me. So she was irresponsible and never cared to listen to my problems or come to school etc. My mother back there wanted to abort me but it was late, so her mother helped her to keep a good reputation in the family and the friends. You might think that it was my grandmother's good heart but that's not it. I was physically and psychologically abused by her a lot of times. I was mischievous as a kid and i did like to run around the house or playing. So she would call me loud by beating me with many tools like hangers or belts. When I was going to parks to play with other kids and i was FULL of bruises, my grandmother would threaten me to not tell to any kids that she abused me. And when their parents were looking at me and they were asking where i got the bruises on my face and body, my grandmother was telling them that i fell down the stairs and various excuses. I was forgiving her in a way because she is part of my family.
At school I received alot of psychological abuse too. I never understood the reason; I was in good terms with guys and i would do stupid things with them (it was elementary after all) but most girls would say bad things behind my back and they would never sit with me on the desk. This kind of abuse continued to the middle school too but this time they would make fun of my overbite. I tried to make myself look really good and when i entered high school, girls would call me a whore and guys would sexually harass me. My family never supported me these years. My mother would be around guys for sex and she would even pay them. (She still does despite her salary being low.)
My father never cared either, he was around some woman with another child. My grandmother would always defend her daughter even if she was doing that kind of things and she would never care about my opinion. Back there in school i was beginning my mother and grandmother to aid me at school with tuitions to learn the subjects better and enter university. Never. They ignored me and i could not work back there because i was a minor so i was unable to pay.
I have graduated from HS now without able to enter university but i want to try to study something certain but the college is very expensive so i gather money with my low salary job. The situation is pretty much the same and even worse. My grandmother continue to say things like:
-You are a failure, i know you will die in the streets.
-Nobody would date you, i was married when i was 22 and your mother was married when she was 19. And every girl that is successful is getting married young.
-You can't study, you are too stupid for that.
-That's why everyone laughed at you in school because you were crazy and retarded and now you are all alone.
-I didn't went to any school but i was lucky to find a rich husband so i'm lucky unlike you.
-My children are the best and they are nothing like you.
Some of the comments she is telling me.
Here and 2 years, her son came to live in the house because he divorced with his wife. He said he would stay for a few months but he lied. He is an alcoholic and my grandmother has put him to physically abuse me. He is fat and it is difficult for a skinny person as i to oppose him. A month ago he was drunk and he came in the shower while i was nude and he grabbed me outside punching me.
A year ago, some new neighbor came to live next to us and since then, my life has worsened. He is in his late 30s. My grandmother started to ass-kiss him and become close to him. At first I didn't care but she started to involve him with me. She started to tell him EVERYTHING about me; That I'm single, that i did not pass into university, that kids at school would make fun at me, etc. For awhile, he was hitting on me but i told him that i don't care about him. Since then, he turned against me. Whenever me and my grandmother have a quarrel he always come in the house. He is calling me names along her and in front of me, she tell him about my personal life again.
Two days ago, my grandmother tried to hit me with a knife. She tried to stab me in the stomach saying that i'm a burden to this house and i should disappear for good because i was a child by accident. I had no other choice but to punch her arm and drop the knife. She called that guy again and she lied that i hit her without mentioning the knife incident. And whatever i tell him that she tried to attack me, he won't believe it. She was asking him to call the police and arrest me but he didn't do it. And instead he is telling me that he will give me an amount of money to leave this place and never see each other again. I am thinking to accept but what if is this a trap? I don't have many choices.
Today, I eavesdropped her, while she was talking to my mother and she was telling her that she want to pay 2 guys to beat me for good somewhere outside.
Perhaps it sounds impossible to you, but it happens. I don't lie either, my grandmother always considered me a burden and whenever i am asking my mother something she is getting in the way. Asking me things like "Why do you bother her?And do whatever you want we don't care. " Now i have a job, my salary is low and she is forcing me to pay for bills while her daughter is giving money to her boyfriend to stay with her. And if i don't pay a bill and buy something i like, like jewelry or shoes she is starting quarrels.
Under those circumstances i'm not able to gather money for college and to leave the house. It needs ALOT of money and i don't know what to do. I reported to the police about it and they didn't believe me. They took my info and they believed my grandmother, her children and that neighbor.
I really want to leave the house. But i don't have any friends but just a few good online ones that live in near countries but i'm not sure if i can trust them. And i have lost a lot of confidence mainly because my grandmother say those bad things. I feel like i deserve this hell, like i committed some sort of crime and i'm a failure. Is it my very own fault if children at school would try to use my kindness and then backstab me and mentally abuse me? Isn't natural to feel anger towards people when they treat you with that behavior? And finally, is it so wrong if i want to study? All of the people i know study and their family support them but my grandmother is just saying that i'm too dumb for it and it will be wasted money.
Your advice on this? Thank you.
