Cat Dancer
MVP
I used to wake up every day and think today will be different, better, I'll make good choices. And for a few hours I would, but I always slipped back into old, unhealthy patterns. Always. Now I don't even try anymore. I don't even have the thought of having a better day because I know I'll just mess it up.
I pray that one day this will take me away from the world or some kind of assisted suicide will be made legal for people like me. I am too scared to try to take my own life, but I think about it so much that it takes away any quality of life I could have. I think the mental health community would be better off if they would accept that someone like me is hopeless. And most of that is on me and my not believing that I can get well. That is HUGE. If you think you're hopeless then why waste the time of anyone who could help you? It doesn't make sense. If you think you're hopeless you're most likely not going to even try to do any of the work it would take to get well. Because what is the point? You just end up going around in circles and right back where you started, hopeless and extremely miserable. It's just constant misery. It's not any way to live. And it's almost cruel for some therapist to give me false hope. Not his fault. It totally lies on me.
I pray that one day this will take me away from the world or some kind of assisted suicide will be made legal for people like me. I am too scared to try to take my own life, but I think about it so much that it takes away any quality of life I could have. I think the mental health community would be better off if they would accept that someone like me is hopeless. And most of that is on me and my not believing that I can get well. That is HUGE. If you think you're hopeless then why waste the time of anyone who could help you? It doesn't make sense. If you think you're hopeless you're most likely not going to even try to do any of the work it would take to get well. Because what is the point? You just end up going around in circles and right back where you started, hopeless and extremely miserable. It's just constant misery. It's not any way to live. And it's almost cruel for some therapist to give me false hope. Not his fault. It totally lies on me.