Well, just when you think things are heading in the right direction, life has to jump up and bite you in the butt!!! Here is my dilemma and my question.
After Dave and I went through the trauma and the 2 years afterward, we realized that we had not handled things well at all, and that we had hit rock bottom. Not a happy realization at the time. During all the turmoil, I was not in constant contact with some of my friends, one of them being my sister. Previous to all of this I called her several times a week. Or she called me. After the trauma, I didn't call as much. We did not take care of ourselves and the PTSD and as I said, we finally crashed. I know that I was a mess then, I am fully aware of that. I barely knew which way was up, but I was doing the very best I could.
10 months ago when Dave and I realized the state we were in, we made the conscious decision to make sure we did things right this time. We make sure we talk everyday about how we are feeling, we make sure we keep each other on track. And I let everyone know that if they didn't hear from me as often, not to worry, that we are just doing what we needed to do right now to get back on track.
Well, just recently it has come to light that my apparent lack of regular calls has become a huge issue and that I guess I have been selfish. I don't understand any of this. And now, it seems as though they have decided to teach me a lesson, or at least that is how it feels. They won't answer at all when I do call, or don't call back at all. Up until my sister told me how awful I had been, I had no trouble reaching one friend and we talked fairly often.
I have tried to explain to them what we went through, and that I know I was not myself. I also tried to tell my sister today that I have changed. What we went through has completely changed me.
I told my sister, I can't apologize for how I reacted to this or how I handled it. But that I feel as though I did something wrong. And I am not sure how I am supposed to rectify any of it. I can't change it, it is the past. I am trying to find a way to live with this and manage it so that it doesn't bring us down again.
Is this a normal reaction to anyone else? Did any of your families or friends do this? These three were my nearest and dearest friends, and I know they felt neglected, and for that I feel so awful, but I am wondering if I expected too much. I still called them, just not as often. And especially not on those days that I was a basket case, I just didn't have the energy or desire to dump that on them each time we talked. And to be honest, there was some days that I just was so exhausted from my everyday life, that all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep.
If anyone has some advice or insight, I would greatly appreciate it. Other friends of mine have been so much more supportive and understanding of the time we needed. I am just at a loss. As much as I have tried to explain what we were going through, it seems to not be enough.
After Dave and I went through the trauma and the 2 years afterward, we realized that we had not handled things well at all, and that we had hit rock bottom. Not a happy realization at the time. During all the turmoil, I was not in constant contact with some of my friends, one of them being my sister. Previous to all of this I called her several times a week. Or she called me. After the trauma, I didn't call as much. We did not take care of ourselves and the PTSD and as I said, we finally crashed. I know that I was a mess then, I am fully aware of that. I barely knew which way was up, but I was doing the very best I could.
10 months ago when Dave and I realized the state we were in, we made the conscious decision to make sure we did things right this time. We make sure we talk everyday about how we are feeling, we make sure we keep each other on track. And I let everyone know that if they didn't hear from me as often, not to worry, that we are just doing what we needed to do right now to get back on track.
Well, just recently it has come to light that my apparent lack of regular calls has become a huge issue and that I guess I have been selfish. I don't understand any of this. And now, it seems as though they have decided to teach me a lesson, or at least that is how it feels. They won't answer at all when I do call, or don't call back at all. Up until my sister told me how awful I had been, I had no trouble reaching one friend and we talked fairly often.
I have tried to explain to them what we went through, and that I know I was not myself. I also tried to tell my sister today that I have changed. What we went through has completely changed me.
I told my sister, I can't apologize for how I reacted to this or how I handled it. But that I feel as though I did something wrong. And I am not sure how I am supposed to rectify any of it. I can't change it, it is the past. I am trying to find a way to live with this and manage it so that it doesn't bring us down again.
Is this a normal reaction to anyone else? Did any of your families or friends do this? These three were my nearest and dearest friends, and I know they felt neglected, and for that I feel so awful, but I am wondering if I expected too much. I still called them, just not as often. And especially not on those days that I was a basket case, I just didn't have the energy or desire to dump that on them each time we talked. And to be honest, there was some days that I just was so exhausted from my everyday life, that all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep.
If anyone has some advice or insight, I would greatly appreciate it. Other friends of mine have been so much more supportive and understanding of the time we needed. I am just at a loss. As much as I have tried to explain what we were going through, it seems to not be enough.
