- Thread starter Steven_v
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David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
That's your choice, Steven. Just make sure that you understand that that is what you are doing: Making a choice to be unhappy, to stay where you are, to refuse to move forward.
It's also a form of emotional blackmail, albeit perhaps unspoken. What you are saying, at least to yourself, is that if she won't agree to stay with you, you will punish her by ensuring that you remain miserable.
It's also a form of emotional blackmail, albeit perhaps unspoken. What you are saying, at least to yourself, is that if she won't agree to stay with you, you will punish her by ensuring that you remain miserable.
it wont punish her at all. if she does not want to be with me than she never even has to see me again but if i can not be with her than id rather go mad. not that i'll tell her this of course she doesnt deserve such a burden i'll merely let her know how much i love her and fight for her any chance i get. after that she can live a normal life infact i hope she finds her perfect man if iam not him. if iam not then iam resigned to the same fate as Majnun in the story of Layla and Majnun.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Because you have chosen to do that. It IS a choice. You have a right to make that choice -- as long as you understand that there are alternative choices you could make.
all human beings desire one thing above all to make a connection with another human being. my strongest connection has been made never will i have one so strong. so unless my connection with her can be brought back then i do not see the point in trying to make connections with others for it will never be as strong. She was my perfect woman wether or not iam her perfect man
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
It's not unusual to feel this way initially, Steven, but it isn't really true.
There is a difference between "I could never" and "I don't want to" - the second is a choice; the first isn't factual.
That isn't true.
That may be true, if that's the decision (choice) you make.
There is a difference between "I could never" and "I don't want to" - the second is a choice; the first isn't factual.
That isn't true.
That may be true, if that's the decision (choice) you make.
ThatLady
Member
You're still young, steven. Give this a bit of time, hon. We change as we learn and grow. What seemed impossible only a short time ago may become a reality just a little ways down the road. I know it hurts to lose someone you care for. I've been there, too. However, you do recover and you can learn to love again.
ThatLady
Member
At this point, that's probably a good thing and how anyone would most likely feel. That, too, is subject to change. 
I disagree and I think that you are confusing love with obsession.
Steven, you are going to be ok. It really hasn't been very long since the relationship ended, so maybe you just need some more time to heal.
Plus, to put this in a little different light....just think how great it would be if you ran into her, and you had your act together, and you seemed happy and well adjusted, etc. That to me, would seem much better than running into her looking all depressed and like you haven't slept in a year. I mean, you want to impress her, not scare her, right? I think that if you really think she is the one for you, if you have any chance at all, that would be it. A little side bonus is that if you actually do move on this will be more attractive to other women as well!
Is there anything you like to do for yourself? Like go to the gym, your job, go out with your friends, etc? Don't forget, along with the loss of this relationship you are gaining freedom to do other things that you like!
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