If someone is too messed up for therapy

[Cat Dancer]

is it unethical for a therapist to keep acting like there is hope for that person?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You're not too messed up for therapy.

 

[Cat Dancer]

There's so much junk bubbling up inside that I feel like I am too messed up for therapy. If he knew all this stuff I am sure he would terminate me as a patient.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Highly unlikely.

 

[Banned]

Keep going, CD. I echo what David says.

 

[NeedaName]

There's so much junk bubbling up inside that I feel like I am too messed up for therapy. If he knew all this stuff I am sure he would terminate me as a patient.

I can't imagine someone seeking a career in therapy bringing a righteous wrath down on their patients. That's more of a Chuck Norris career field.

 

[Banned]

There's so much junk bubbling up inside that I feel like I am too messed up for therapy. If he knew all this stuff I am sure he would terminate me as a patient.

Maybe you could tell him so he can provide the support you need.

This is another form of distorted thinking, CD. Don't let it make decisions for you or other people.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Well, I think I'm too ashamed to go back or go on or something.

 

[adaptive1]

I bet we have all had times when we have thought that we were too messed up, that it was too hard, we were too broken, that we would never be happy.

But, then you have the good days where you forget about that.


You ate definitely not too messed up, not with your kind heart.

 

[rdw]

I'm on the band wagon too - you're not too messed up. I think you're making progress.

 

[gardens]

I have to echo everything said here too.
Keep going CD - keep pushing through. I don't know you at all - but all your posts show a really sweet, caring and empathetic person. And besides, the people here that do know you say the same. All these people can't be wrong CD

 

[David Baxter PhD]

CD. re-read the current "Quote of the Day":

Quote of the Day
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms
​

Notice that he says everyone... some more than others, of course, but we all have the potential not only to survive but to be strong precisely because we have experienced being broken.

The only way you can be defeated is to give up.

 

[forgetmenot]

CD often i wonder like you if therapy is going to help or if my doc sees me as someone not capable of healing. These thoughts hun are just more distorted thoughts ones we have to just let go aside ok. We know they are not right

I think our therapist will always believe in us hun because we don't give up .
You are strong , we all see that strength hun, now you have to see it too ok Hugs to you

 

[Cat Dancer]

Thanks for all your kind replies.

I am just feeling shaky and uncertain about therapy right now. I wouldn't blame him if he told me I was beyond hope. I feel that way.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm not convinced there is anyone who is incapable of healing. Some clients may need to change therapists or try a different approach to therapy but I have yet to meet a client who couldn't be helped - even if I wasn't the best therapist to help them.

 

[GDPR]

I understand your thinking cat dancer,because I have said the same thing many times myself.

Dr.Baxter,if you feel you're not the right therapist for a person,what do you do? Do you refer them to someone else? Would a therapist keep seeing someone if they didn't believe they could be of help? How do you know if you're not the right one?

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm not convinced there is anyone who is incapable of healing. Some clients may need to change therapists or try a different approach to therapy but I have yet to meet a client who couldn't be helped - even nif I wasn't the best therapist to help them.

Do you think I might need to change therapists? I really like him. I'm just afraid I've gotten to be too much for him.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Dr.Baxter,if you feel you're not the right therapist for a person,what do you do? Do you refer them to someone else? Would a therapist keep seeing someone if they didn't believe they could be of help? How do you know if you're not the right one?

My first step would be to discuss my concern with the client. Ultimately, how the issue is resolved depends on individual factors and the wishes of the client. Sometimes a client will want to continue with me because s/he feels comfortable and is reluctant to change, despite my suggestion that a different therapist might be more helpful. I might them try a different approach but if the client continues to show little evidence of benefit (sometimes the benefit might simply be in the form of supportive counseling and that can be legitimate) I would revisit the discussion. Sometimes, I might suggest that the client see someone else with a different specialty. In fact, there have only been a few times in my career where I have "insisted" that the client see someone else, but any time I suggest another therapist I would always provide the client with recommendations for someone I think would be more appropriate.

Do you think I might need to change therapists? I really like him. I'm just afraid I've gotten to be too much for him.

No, I wasn't suggesting that. I was providing a general answer to a generic question. I wasn't referring to you. I believe you are making progress with your current therapist and unless you are personally having some difficulty continuing with him my recommendation would be to continue.

 

[Cat Dancer]

What if I feel like I might be too attached? Maybe I think about him too much and wish he was in my every day life to help me out? Maybe it's at an unhealthy level?

I am just having such a hard time right now figuring this out and I don't want to step over his boundaries. This is so difficult.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Why don't you let your therapist worry about his boundaries? He's a professional.