Just needing to vent

[adaptive1]

I am ok, I'm doing better than I was a year ago or even six months ago. Sometimes I just feel the need to vent a little. I wish I had someone in my life I could talk to about my OCD and other issues but I don't. I do have the therapist but I feel like I am not always honest with her as I guess I don't want to give up certain embarrassing behaviour. Same goes for my friends and family, I feel shame so i dont share my struggle. Here comes the venting part. Some days it is so hard to fight against my compulsive behaviours,to have wasted the entire day doing compulsive things that I don't understand.

Sometimes it's just easier to give in than fight . Sometimes I wonder if this medication is really helping me at all and why do I bother with it. I know my perspective will change and I will try again to get back on track. I don't want to pity myself, I believe I'm very lucky for all I do have. But just for this venting moment, I hate OCD so much and how it has impacted my life. I hate even admitting that it's part of me, it will not define me, it will never destroy me. It has stolen so much time from me

I feel like venting more, I'm so angry. At myself at the OCD...I hate checking things and I can't stop. One obsession replaces another. I don't want this anymore.

 

[making_art]

I can only imagine how hard this is to deal with.....:support:

 

[Cat Dancer]

I can relate. It is very hard dealing with OCD. I don't really know what to say, but I do feel for you so much.

 

[adaptive1]

Thanks you guys, maybe I'm just over tired and things will seem better in a few days I haven't been sleeping that well or eating normally so I could make more of an effort. I appreciate your thoughts and I will try to get back on track.

 

[MHealthJo]

So sorry for this crappy, crappy thing that you have to ongoingly deal with in your life. Thinking of you.

It is totally okay to vent out the frustration whenever you feel you want to, so that you can feel that you are not all alone in your experience and so that you can feel the benefit of understanding and caring from informed people.

It is lightening to share the feelings, and it can be the case that therapist time is sometimes more focused on learning and using skills.

So whenever you just want to share and talk about a bad time or just the ongoing struggle or tiredness, vent away and never feel like it is a disappointment to anyone or some sort of failure. We need support and friendship in the challenges we live with.

And you are right - even when times are hard, OCD does not define you and is not you. And you will get back to a better time again.

xo

 

[adaptive1]

I feel like I am getting back on track again the last couple of days. Thank you guys for letting me express my frustration. I am really grateful that things are going as well as they are for me, really I shouldnt complain when I think of where I was a year ago. I could barely function and now things are much better than that dark period. I will get though this minor set back and once I feel like I am functioning better again, I hope to spend more time getting caught up with whats going on with the forum. I have another doctors appointment in a week or so, will see what he thinks.

 

[adaptive1]

I went to my doctor today. He said I should be on medication for a year. i am surprised as I thought he would let me come off of it if things got better sooner. He said since it seems to be chronic that I should continue at least another six months. He did agree to let me come off the seroquel but he said only if I increase the setraline again, so now I am on a higher dose of it. It seems to help somewhat so I guess I will keep on with the medication. He told me not to quit it even if I start to feel better. I hope in six months I can get off the medication.

 

[Banned]

I can understand your desire to get off medication but I can also honestly say don't rush the process because it will just cause problems down the road. My goal for years has been to get off meds and I've just found out that will likely never happen now (new diagnosis) and honestly, if they are going to give you a better quality if life, why change it? As much as I hate taking mine I think I would be terrified to stop them....you do get used to them eventually and when you find the right one(s) and your life finally starts to feel normal suddenly popping a couple pills every day doesn't seem so bad....

Hang in there....you deserve peace in your life.

 

[adaptive1]

This is probably a dumb question but I'm flying to the states tomorrow and what do I do about my prescription medication. I don't want to put in my carry on and have my friends see I am on antidepressants and have to explain it. Can I leave it on my big suitcase, will I get in trouble? Sorry probably a stupid question and I have no note from a doctor do I need one?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

If you take the bottle you got from the drug store with the prescription information, you'll be fine.

 

[adaptive1]

Ok thanks very much I am probably paranoid thinking I will be arrested for drug trafficking! Lol I think there are bigger criminals then me out there with my zoloft prescription

 

[Banned]

But...as someone who works for an airline, I can tell you we never ever recommend packing your medication in your checked baggage. What if that bag is delayed? You will be without your meds.

You can put them in your carry on and no one has to know you have them except you. Security won't take them out unless you have other questionable things in there that they need to question. My Imovane is technically illegal in the US so I always have to carry it in the pharmacy bottle but I've never, ever had my medications looked at (and let me tell you I travel a LOT).

All that to say I strongly recommend against putting medication or house/car keys in your checked baggage. Or anything of value.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I agree. I carry my essential medications and spare contact lenses, etc., with me so I know where nthey are and in case my checked baggage gets lost or sent to Puerto Rico or Australia.

 

[Banned]

It always sucks when your baggage gets a better vacation than you do mg:.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Indeed.

 

[adaptive1]

I am back from my trip, thank you for your advice. I had no trouble at the borders at all.

I do wish the medication did more sometimes in controlling the thoughts though, I forgot to take it last night so maybe it explains why it's been so bad today. Maybe it doesn't, I guess I just better learn to live with it.

anyway, thank you again for the advice