harrison123
Member
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 14 months now, and she cuts herself. I don't think she does it all the time (thats what she tells me, and i beleive her) so it's not a huge problem, but it's ready to turn into a big problem. I want to help fix it before it get out of hand.
I found out one day when she, her friend and I went camping and something was wrong. We were ever so happy with each other but it turns out that she was lieing about her past in a few aspects. One being self injury. Before we met, she used to do it all the time she told me. Then she stopped for a good year or so, and did it again. She told me this when we were camping and ignorant me didnt know anything about self injury. So I tried to be sensiable and tried to relate and comfort her, and I thought it worked. But thats where my ignorance kicked in. I just recently (1 month ago) found out she did it again, and then even more recently ( 1 week ago) found out again. The night i found out, I couldnt figure out what was wrong with us ( I probably didn't help much by be angry but I couldn't find the conflict let alone solve it) So at the end of the night she told me and i was speechless once again. She pleaded for me to get her help and to help her, even if after that night she opposed or actually got mad, she wanted me to force her to get help. This is when I finally relized that this is out of my hands and the only thing I could/can do is to get her help and try not to push her away by telling he what to do. I know thta won't work. She has told me various things that where not good, Like she was smoking behind my back, hiding certian aspects of her life from me, but I never freaked out at her, I stayed calm when she told me. So thats what I did when she told me she was doing it again.
I would like to know what kind of help I can get her/suits her needs, and what kind of help/support I can be, and how I can communicate with her about htis safely.
Thanks In Advanced!
I found out one day when she, her friend and I went camping and something was wrong. We were ever so happy with each other but it turns out that she was lieing about her past in a few aspects. One being self injury. Before we met, she used to do it all the time she told me. Then she stopped for a good year or so, and did it again. She told me this when we were camping and ignorant me didnt know anything about self injury. So I tried to be sensiable and tried to relate and comfort her, and I thought it worked. But thats where my ignorance kicked in. I just recently (1 month ago) found out she did it again, and then even more recently ( 1 week ago) found out again. The night i found out, I couldnt figure out what was wrong with us ( I probably didn't help much by be angry but I couldn't find the conflict let alone solve it) So at the end of the night she told me and i was speechless once again. She pleaded for me to get her help and to help her, even if after that night she opposed or actually got mad, she wanted me to force her to get help. This is when I finally relized that this is out of my hands and the only thing I could/can do is to get her help and try not to push her away by telling he what to do. I know thta won't work. She has told me various things that where not good, Like she was smoking behind my back, hiding certian aspects of her life from me, but I never freaked out at her, I stayed calm when she told me. So thats what I did when she told me she was doing it again.
I would like to know what kind of help I can get her/suits her needs, and what kind of help/support I can be, and how I can communicate with her about htis safely.
Thanks In Advanced!