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Tink

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Aug 14, 2006
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I wont go into grave detail about my abuse. I'm trying to keep the triggers at a minimum if I can help it.

I started dealing with abuse at the age of 16.

This was my first relationship and it involved verbal, physical, and sexual abuse.

After him I dealt with number sexual assaults/harassment by about 8 other guys "friends/co-workers" through the years of 96-2001, also dealt with another threat of rape in 2001 from someone I was seeing, scared me.

But in 2001 one I met someone wonderful, someone good to me, 5 yrs later we are still together, living together etc.

I've recently in the past year came over a major hump in my recovery with my PTSD with body memories, triggers, being stuck in the past etc... That was my biggest accomplishment so far, because that is what hurt me the most.

I still get triggers/body memories always likely will. But I've learned to cope with it, I got some books about body memories and trauma that was recommended to by my psychiatrist and they were helpful.

I always think something bad will happen to me, that perhaps I have a "Go get her - victim" tattooed on my forehead. Luckily nothing has happened, but I'm still hypervigilant etc still get my symptoms of PTSD but they are remnant. That I guess is a blessing in itself.

Another thing that I get, daily is what I call "day dreams" even though they could happen at any time with just seeing myself being hurt, people I don't know, kidnapped, stalked all those awful images.

But they have never happened, but yet I can't get rid of this. Sometimes it's from the past abuse with the guys etc, other times I don't see faces, just feel tense, the fear.

Does that make sense?
:frown:
[edit]Admin edit: details deleted - please see Forum Rules.[/edit]
 

^^Phoenix^^

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Mar 28, 2004
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I think it makes sense Tink, and I think your symptoms are typical of somebody working through PTSD. Also I don't think that your fear is unwarrented - even after one attack, the fear of it happening agian can be overwhelming. After several, I believe it is a natural progression to fear the same from everyone. We have recently had a post, with explainations of teenagers, and the risk of teens in abusive relationships. I know that that really opened my eyes to the issue, as before I hadn't really given it much thought. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was that you have gone through what you have, and I hope that by posting here, you are begining (or are) getting through what happened to you.
 

Holly

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Apr 27, 2006
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Hi Tink,
I personally think your very strong and brave to post your story! I am sorry you had to experience abuse at such a young age. I know the forum has different articles you may find very helpful. I wanted to wish you the best in your new journey and take care :)
 

ddHopes

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Aug 3, 2006
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Tink (((hugs)))

We share the dx ptsd and abuse (various) I hope we can support eachother occasionally thru our healing.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'll never understand the victim seeking, but

I am a survivor!!!!!! And so are you.

Stay strong.
 

Tink

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Messages
22
Points
1
Thank you for the replies.
I did read about that article with teens and domestic violence.
I've read alot about it, books, articles... learned alot from therapy.
I've over come most of it... still deal with triggers etc.
But everyday is a new day. :)
So even though I have some bad days with all of this, I know it's not the end.
 

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