One liners

[Daniel E.]

"In this family we fix our own problems. We use no psychiatrists, no therapists, no educated people of any kind."

~ Roseanne

 

[Daniel E.]

“Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!”

― Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist

 

[Daniel E.]

"Honesty always gives you the advantage of surprise in the House of Commons."

~ James Hacker (Paul Eddington) in Yes, Prime Minister

 

[Daniel E.]

From a serious Amazon review:

"It was suggested by a wonderful pet psychic."

 

[Daniel E.]

"My empathy is off the charts lately. Maybe I have a brain tumor."

~ Mom (TV series)

 

[Daniel E.]

Book review at Amazon:

Cognitive Neuroscience of Human Systems: Work and Everyday Life (Human Factors and Ergonomics), Forsythe, Chris, Liao, Huafei, Trumbo, Michael Christopher Stefan, Cardona-Rivera, Rogelio E., eBook - Amazon.com

It’s a book. It has words in it. Also pictures. I enjoy pictures, and I enjoy words. Therefore, I enjoyed this book. Bonus: it is hardcover, which was great for swatting a spider that got a little handsy. “How did a spider get handsy?” You may ask. A reasonable question, since they are known for being leggy. For that answer you will need to consult a book. Not this one, though, it does not cover spider-hands. For that, I deduct half star, which rounds up to 5 stars as Amazon views stars as an all-or-none phenomenon.

 

[Daniel E.]

"WE are going to get together and act like a normal family for one-tenth of a second and we're going to do it right now."

~ Modern Family

 

[Daniel E.]

Repost:

"My problem is I was reincarnated without having been alive the first time."

~ Steven Wright

 

[Daniel E.]

"Why do you [therapists] have so many rules? It's not like you're real doctors."

~ Mom

 

[Daniel E.]

"In a gold rush, the real money’s often made by those selling shovels."

Source:

Bloomberg - Are you a robot?

 

[Daniel E.]

Book review for Person-Centred Therapy Today:

"At the risk of being directive, I would say you should buy this book."

 

[Daniel E.]

"I was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering."

— Steven Wright

 

[Daniel E.]

"Some IT positions are burning hot which truly proves that they are part of hell."

~ Informing yourself to death: obsession with Internet Browsing and Social Sites

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

Corporate speak from a job ad:

"Daily tasks include support to new business expansion initiatives and cross-functional project teams while working hand-in-hand with strategic partners to ensure readiness for each assigned initiative."

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Translation: We have extra money in this years budget for hiring and we have to spend it or lose it but we have no idea what the candidate will actually be doing.

 

[Daniel E.]

~ Gregg Eisenberg

 

[Daniel E.]

This made me laugh:

"Have you ever wondered why you have a brain?"

 

[Daniel E.]

17 Best of Moira Rose's Positively Ludicrous Quotes

17 Best of Moira Rose's Positively Ludicrous Quotes - You get a Cheezburger, and YOU get a Cheezburger. EVERYONE GETS A CHEEZBURGER. The original internet funny site.

cheezburger.com

 

[Daniel E.]

From an advice columnist: "You demonstrate the maturity, wisdom and ethics of a houseplant."