• Quote of the Day
    "You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself."
    Harry Palmer, posted by Daniel

Daniel

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"You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."

- Joan Rivers
 

Daniel

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“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”

– Caroline Rhea
 

Daniel

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“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.'”

– Claude Pepper
 

Daniel

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“To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”

– Doug Larson
 

Daniel

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“When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.”

~ Chris Rock
 

Daniel

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“This is punishment for leaving the house.”

tumblr_ot2feg9s4X1wtenowo3_500.png

~ [WIKI]Grace and Frankie[/WIKI]
 

Daniel

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"I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met."

~ Herb Caen
 

Daniel

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"I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical."

~ Arthur C. Clarke
 

Daniel

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“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”

~ Stewart Francis
 

Daniel

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"Let me ask you a question, who do you think has more freedom—the married man in America or the single man in communist China?"

~ Larry David
 

Daniel

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"I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can't decide what I want and I don't want to be stuck with one I'm just going to grow to hate and have to have surgically removed later."

~ Margaret Cho
 

Daniel

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"My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada."

~ David Steinberg
 

Daniel

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"Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it."

~ George Carlin
 

Daniel

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"If God had really intended man to fly, He'd make it easier to get to the airport."

~ Jonathan Winters
 

Daniel

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"The only thing [Tom Cruise] has on you is more money and more photographs of himself hanging on the wall."

~ David Baxter
 

Daniel

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"A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad."

~ Theodore Roosevelt
 

Daniel

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"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."

~ Jay Leno
 

Daniel

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"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent."

~ Mel Lazarus
 

Daniel

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"Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

~ Johnnie Casson
 

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