- Mar 26, 2004
He apparently encountered some problems posting and asked me to post this for him:
inkandpaperguy said:Alcohol & Depression
Hi, I am new to this forum and hope to find some insights into my situation.
I have been sober (and clean) since 1989 when I joined AA. I have been sober for 15 years; however, I was diagnosed with dysthimic depression last summer (2003) and am taking a 20 mg dose of paxil since then. FYI, my emotional problems really took off when I sobered up, it seems - no way to numb my feelings anymore. I know that I had treated depression for years with alcohol and drugs, so, taking "drugs" after all this time sober was a challenge (even though they were prescribed by my doctor).
I am confrontational (not violent) and I have a hair-line temper. I am verbally abusive when my wife and I fight. She is getting better at verbally lashing out at me too. I sometimes feel I could be the poster child for the "you hurt the ones you love" cliche. This fighting has pushed her away physically and emotionally and I know this is now having an impact on our kids (8 year old boy, 6 year old girl). We dont argue daily; however, our fights can go from zero to raging very fast. My wife is an RN, is quite astute and holds much of our collective common sense. We both know the home situation has improved since I began paxil 1.5 years ago; however, things could (should?) be much better.
I am about to embark on talk therapy sessions with a counsellor who knows my history & situation, I will be asking my doctor for a higher dosage paxil RX on my appointment next week and I have increased my AA meeting intake by one or two closed meetings every week.
I pray for happiness, sobriety, emotional balance and good health. Am I asking (or expecting) too much? Has anyone been down this road before and have some good advice? Am I making the right life choices to correct the slow and steady mess I am making of my personal life?