• Quote of the Day
    "Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be,
    but to find out who we already are and become it."
    Steven Pressfield, posted by David Baxter

Daniel

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The main goal of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is to increase psychological flexibility. ACT is a form of therapy that aims to help people accept unavoidable events, identify actions that will lead to goals, and acknowledge thoughts rather than accepting or disregarding them.[21] When psychological flexibility was targeted in one study of ACT, there was a stronger reduction in psychological distress.[22] There are six core processes in ACT interventions: acceptance, cognitive defusion, self as context, being present, values, and committed action.
 

Daniel

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"If you notice yourself going through a particularly challenging time, you might imagine holding your difficult thoughts and feelings gently, like a prickly cactus."

~ Jenna LeJeune, Ph.D
 

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We have lots of socially established rules about self-worth. People want to be acceptable to themselves and others. Unfortunately, because of verbal evaluation, at the level of content no one is truly acceptable. I sometimes ask my clients to name one thing in the physical universe that they can’t find fault with. Usually they can’t. Then I ask, “So why should you be an exception?”

If the “you” one takes oneself to be is this observer “you,” these rules of self-worth are handled fairly easily. . . . Only things can be evaluated, and at the deepest level one cannot experience onself in the sense of “you as perspective” to be a thing.

~ Steve Harris (quoted in ACT Observer Exercise)
 

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“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinion for or against. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.”

Hsin Hsin Ming
 

Daniel

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“We are storytelling animals, and cannot bear to acknowledge the ordinariness of our daily lives.”

― Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life
 

Daniel

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Screen Shot 2021-12-02 at 4.28.55 PM.jpg
 

Daniel

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“Perhaps the most liberating moment in my life was when I realized that my self-loathing was not a product of my inadequacy but, rather, a product of my thoughts.”

“To be courageous, we must be willing to surrender our perfectionism, if only for a moment. If my self-worth is attached to being flawless, why would I ever try to learn anything new? After all, learning requires mistakes.”

― Vironika Tugaleva, The Love Mindset: An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness
 

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Screen Shot 2022-01-02 at 9.20.49 AM.jpg

Regarding social anxiety:

“Paradoxically, accepting that you’re just not a confident person and you’re always going to feel a little off around other people will begin to make you feel more comfortable and less anxious around others. You won’t judge yourself, and then you’ll feel less judged by them as well.”

~ Mark Manson
 

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Some people find that when they first practice self-compassion, their pain actually increases some.

“We call this phenomena backdraft, a firefighting term that describes what happens when a door in a burning house is opened—oxygen goes in and flames rush out,” explains Kristin Neff, PhD, co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. “A similar process can occur when we open the door of our hearts—love goes in and old pain comes out.

Validate emotions but don’t add fuel to the fire. Be gentle. Show yourself patience. One powerful exercise suggested by Neff is to write out exactly how you would respond to a friend in the same situation you are condemning yourself for.
 

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“What we need to learn to do is to look at thought, rather than from thought.”

― Steven C. Hayes
 

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