More threads by AlmostMe

AlmostMe

Member
Hi, I'm new here, I suffer from an anxiety disorder and currently doing CBT.

I've come a long way, and with that I find when I have my off days they hit me harder. Recently I've been having more yuk days and between a persistant cough, feeling the affects of the weather change and getting darker sooner, I really feel like I'm slipping abit. I don't want to and I'm trying to stay positive. Ofcourse, being female, PMS doesn't help and only magnifies my feelings. I've got it right now, so that is another reason why I'm feeling the way I am.

The past 3 or 4 days really have not been good. I've been pushing myself to get out of the house atleast once a day with the help of my husband. The anxiety at times and avoidance behaviour makes me feel agrophobic so I really do need to get out otherwise I tend to stick close to home or be inside.

I don't know what else to say right now except I want to feel better and work through these feelings. It comes and goes throughout the day/evenings and also the last few nights I haven't been able to fall asleep till atleast 1 or 2am and waking up wide awake at 6am. This morning I actually had a mini anxiety attack! I gagged until I felt better... I don't throw up ever, but it seems the only way to relieve my anxiety is to gag - Which can be quite embarressing when I'm out and about in public!
I felt better and wrote an email to my therapist then went back to bed around 7am and then woke up around 10am.

CBT has been good for me and I used to post on other anxiety boards but I feel the ones I joined, now aren't helping me as many that are there seem to reveal in their depression/anxiety or other illnesses. I am a moderator so therefore I do stick around to help others, but as for posting about myself, I don't feel like anybody there can help me as we're not in the same mental place, I am growing and getting better. It's sad because I made some wonderful online friendships but I feel like afew of them are pulling me down - Not on purpose, but they aren't doing much to better themselves and I am. That sounds selfish and mean doesn't it? But I can't help the way I feel. I need to have more positive people in my life and the online thing has helped me so much, but my life isn't online, it's out in the real world...We all still keep intouch, but I've had to detach from afew of them and put myself first more. I am thankful for their friendships but it's like I've outgrown them and now there are some hurt feelings, which I feel horrible about but it's something that has to be done if I am going to push through my own problems.

Thanks for reading, any comments, I'd appreciate that.

AM.
 

AlmostMe

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Hi, I'm new here, I suffer from an anxiety disorder and currently doing CBT.

I've come a long way, and with that I find when I have my off days they hit me harder. Recently I've been having more yuk days and between a persistant cough, feeling the affects of the weather change and getting darker sooner, I really feel like I'm slipping abit. I don't want to and I'm trying to stay positive. Ofcourse, being female, PMS doesn't help and only magnifies my feelings. I've got it right now, so that is another reason why I'm feeling the way I am.

The past 3 or 4 days really have not been good. I've been pushing myself to get out of the house atleast once a day with the help of my husband. The anxiety at times and avoidance behaviour makes me feel agrophobic so I really do need to get out otherwise I tend to stick close to home or be inside.

I don't know what else to say right now except I want to feel better and work through these feelings. It comes and goes throughout the day/evenings and also the last few nights I haven't been able to fall asleep till atleast 1 or 2am and waking up wide awake at 6am. This morning I actually had a mini anxiety attack! I gagged until I felt better... I don't throw up ever, but it seems the only way to relieve my anxiety is to gag - Which can be quite embarressing when I'm out and about in public!
I felt better and wrote an email to my therapist then went back to bed around 7am and then woke up around 10am.

CBT has been good for me and I used to post on other anxiety boards but I feel the ones I joined, now aren't helping me as many that are there seem to reveal in their depression/anxiety or other illnesses. I am a moderator so therefore I do stick around to help others, but as for posting about myself, I don't feel like anybody there can help me as we're not in the same mental place, I am growing and getting better. It's sad because I made some wonderful online friendships but I feel like afew of them are pulling me down - Not on purpose, but they aren't doing much to better themselves and I am. That sounds selfish and mean doesn't it? But I can't help the way I feel. I need to have more positive people in my life and the online thing has helped me so much, but my life isn't online, it's out in the real world...We all still keep intouch, but I've had to detach from afew of them and put myself first more. I am thankful for their friendships but it's like I've outgrown them and now there are some hurt feelings, which I feel horrible about but it's something that has to be done if I am going to push through my own problems.

Thanks for reading, any comments, I'd appreciate that.

AM.
 

ThatLady

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Taking care of yourself has to come first, hon. If you're not in a good place, you really can't be all that much help to other people. The fact that you've recognized that you're moving forward toward a new and better life, and that those who have not yet made the choice to put out the effort to move forward can threaten all your hard work is wonderful! Give yourself a pat on the back for knowing what you have to do and doing it! :)

Seasonal depression, PMS, and not feeling physically well can bring on feelings of "slipping backward". I don't think it's so much that you're slipping backward as that life sometimes conspires against our best efforts. I don't like the winter. I hate to see the leaves fall, and the flowers and butterflies disappear. If I had to couple that with PMS and a nagging cough, I'd probably feel kinda down, too. The trick is to use your newly-found coping skills to get by those times when you start to feel down. Go out and do something, or take up a hobby, or exercise...whatever helps you to alleviate the "down" feelings. It works for me.
 

ThatLady

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Taking care of yourself has to come first, hon. If you're not in a good place, you really can't be all that much help to other people. The fact that you've recognized that you're moving forward toward a new and better life, and that those who have not yet made the choice to put out the effort to move forward can threaten all your hard work is wonderful! Give yourself a pat on the back for knowing what you have to do and doing it! :)

Seasonal depression, PMS, and not feeling physically well can bring on feelings of "slipping backward". I don't think it's so much that you're slipping backward as that life sometimes conspires against our best efforts. I don't like the winter. I hate to see the leaves fall, and the flowers and butterflies disappear. If I had to couple that with PMS and a nagging cough, I'd probably feel kinda down, too. The trick is to use your newly-found coping skills to get by those times when you start to feel down. Go out and do something, or take up a hobby, or exercise...whatever helps you to alleviate the "down" feelings. It works for me.
 

AlmostMe

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Thanks for the reply ThatLady, it's good to know others understand my frame of mind, even though at times I don't understand it myself! I like to know why I feel the way I do, and always search for a reason. Sometimes that's a good thing, but it can be a bad thing...Maybe at times it's best to say it's a bad day and leave it at that. I don't know!

I guess in a way I feel like I owe some of my online friends alot as they did help me when I was really low and having bad anxiety attacks. That expression, misery loves company comes into my head...But right now, most of the time my focus is in other places and it's getting harder to maintain some friendships because we don't have the same things in common anymore. Your words helped me, I don't feel so guilty because I can't "be" there for some of them.

I will be posting more in the upcoming weeks, I'm glad I found this site.

Thanks again,
AM
 

AlmostMe

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Thanks for the reply ThatLady, it's good to know others understand my frame of mind, even though at times I don't understand it myself! I like to know why I feel the way I do, and always search for a reason. Sometimes that's a good thing, but it can be a bad thing...Maybe at times it's best to say it's a bad day and leave it at that. I don't know!

I guess in a way I feel like I owe some of my online friends alot as they did help me when I was really low and having bad anxiety attacks. That expression, misery loves company comes into my head...But right now, most of the time my focus is in other places and it's getting harder to maintain some friendships because we don't have the same things in common anymore. Your words helped me, I don't feel so guilty because I can't "be" there for some of them.

I will be posting more in the upcoming weeks, I'm glad I found this site.

Thanks again,
AM
 

ThatLady

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Another thing that it's important to remember, and one which I often reiterate, it that allowing another to be of help to you is like giving them a gift. You know how good you feel when you're able to be of help to someone else. Well, sometimes we have to remind ourselves that others feel exactly that same way. By allowing them to help and support us we help to increase their self-esteem. We make them feel good about themselves.

So, as you see, you don't owe your online friends anything. You've already paid them back more times than you know. :)
 

ThatLady

Member
S.A.D, anxiety etc...

Another thing that it's important to remember, and one which I often reiterate, it that allowing another to be of help to you is like giving them a gift. You know how good you feel when you're able to be of help to someone else. Well, sometimes we have to remind ourselves that others feel exactly that same way. By allowing them to help and support us we help to increase their self-esteem. We make them feel good about themselves.

So, as you see, you don't owe your online friends anything. You've already paid them back more times than you know. :)
 
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