Superiority Tails
Member
Did it ever made you lose friends?
- Thread starter Superiority Tails
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Superiority Tails
Member
:hug: A friend isn't a true friend unless they stand by you no matter what. At least you have a lot of true friends on here.
I have to admit though ST that a lot of them I was not honest with and didn't explain to them why I was withdrawing from them and turning them down to go out with them and eventually they just stopped calling. I don't blame them. I am sure that if I had of explained the situation and what I was dealing with to them then some of them might have supported me and stuck around but no use in looking back now.
And yes I do have a lot of good true friends on here.
And yes I do have a lot of good true friends on here.
Misha
Member
I think that so often when we are dealing with such complicated issues we easily become "high maintenance."
This is something that I struggle with. I am very hard to love. Simple as that. My friends do not stick around for long because they are frustrated that they can not help me and eventually it becomes necessary for their own health and life that they leave me to my vices and devices.
That is one of the many reasons I look online for support. There is a genuine aspect to the relationship, but boundaries are more easily set when there's a "log out" button....
This is something that I struggle with. I am very hard to love. Simple as that. My friends do not stick around for long because they are frustrated that they can not help me and eventually it becomes necessary for their own health and life that they leave me to my vices and devices.
That is one of the many reasons I look online for support. There is a genuine aspect to the relationship, but boundaries are more easily set when there's a "log out" button....
Superiority Tails
Member
:hug: Sorry to hear that. But I think that your have real life friends someday. You can also talk to them as to why their frustrated maybe you could find a way to keep them.
^^Phoenix^^
Member
Superiority Tails - I've just been catching up on the posts. Something that you need to be aware of is that depression doesn't nessisarily mean particular symptoms. Their are a vast amount of different experiances that one may undergo and it can be very different.
For instance, Depression won't 'make you loose your mind' as you asked earlier, but can distort the way alot of people suffering from depression think. A depressed persons thoughts may go in cycles of depressed thinking, and they may be unable to think possitivly, even when possitive things are pointed out to them. Their concentration may suffer. Their sleep may suffer. All of these symptoms are not a sure thing when you suffer from depression, but they do often accompany the 'disorder'.
I also don't know if it is quite just to say that friends are not good friends if they do not stick by you. As Nancy pointed out, and as i can atest to myself, some times people suffering from depression can become 'high maintanence'. For me, I didn't want to see or talk to anybody, and would be rude and sometimes hateful to the people I cared about - my friends. And these people slowerly driffted away from me. Since beginning my own recovery, I have become in contact with them. Apologised for how I treated them, and explained what I was going through at the time. All of them have understood. I think what we need to remember is that our friends, as much as we love them and need from them, are people as well. And they need to look after themselves also.
For instance, Depression won't 'make you loose your mind' as you asked earlier, but can distort the way alot of people suffering from depression think. A depressed persons thoughts may go in cycles of depressed thinking, and they may be unable to think possitivly, even when possitive things are pointed out to them. Their concentration may suffer. Their sleep may suffer. All of these symptoms are not a sure thing when you suffer from depression, but they do often accompany the 'disorder'.
I also don't know if it is quite just to say that friends are not good friends if they do not stick by you. As Nancy pointed out, and as i can atest to myself, some times people suffering from depression can become 'high maintanence'. For me, I didn't want to see or talk to anybody, and would be rude and sometimes hateful to the people I cared about - my friends. And these people slowerly driffted away from me. Since beginning my own recovery, I have become in contact with them. Apologised for how I treated them, and explained what I was going through at the time. All of them have understood. I think what we need to remember is that our friends, as much as we love them and need from them, are people as well. And they need to look after themselves also.
Superiority Tails
Member
Even though they help me out I should give them some space as well as help too. Instead of worrying about myself.
I definitely think that any friendship is a give and take siutation but first and foremost you have to look after yourself so that you are strong enough to be able to help others. If you are not taking care of yourself first and putting yourself first then you are going to be of no use to your friends if they need it.
Superiority Tails
Member
Is it like Yeg Yag? You have to have a balance to have and keep friends.
What I was referring to as friendships being give and take was that there are probably times when you are more able to help your friends in their time of need and they do the same for you in your time of need. That is what I meant by give and take. You helping each other and being there to support one another in your time of need. But please remember that if you don't take care of yourself first then you will be of no help to your friends if they need it. You have to make yourself your first priority.
Superiority Tails
Member
Thanks.
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