- Mar 11, 2006
So here I go. My parents are deciding wether or not they want to move to Montana. my dad has put in for a job there and got it, its just the matter of them making up there mind. In the mean time Im gettin pulled in the middle of this and Im getting tired of it. my mom wants me to go there so that I can continue taking care of my grandmother. Plus I get all this crap like ya know kevin name is well known around in this area and its not good I hear about this all the time people always saying that he's a drunk and that he's never going anyware in life. moms telling me all this crap like me and him will never own our own home and that we are not really going anyware. witch is true. But in the mean time theres not a whole lot that I can do about that. i have to play catch up on all my bills and decide what it is that i want to do with my life. Like do I want kids, Do I want to go to school. what I want to be. Ware I want to live. Of course I will never own a home ware I live because they are so expensive. They rage from 1 million to a two bedroom house is 230,00 dollars you can't even rent a house with out it being 650 for a one bedroom its so rdiculis. Plus I have all this surgery stuff on my mind and I keep looking at the callinder and counting down the days, and then I told my husband that I will be staying at my moms house after surgery and he didn't like that Idea. But ya know Im not going to stay In our house all alone everyday and not have help. I never get any help anyway from him. One morning he was complaining that he had to get up and feed his kids. I ordered by my doctor not to walk on my leg and so i got this thrown in my face how I don't have to do anything and that all I do this lay around. well darn it if he wouldn't have takin me skiing I wouldn't have this problem with my leg. Im so mad at him. I just don't know what to do with my life. I have been contemplating wether or not I should just get a devorce. And getting far away from everything. I don't get any help anyway even when im sick I take care of my self.. I don't feel loved like a women should feel loved. I feel my relationship is all about sex. All this is so over whelming and depressing some times I don't even want to come home. My house doesn't feel like a house its just a cold empty place. My mind is racing and I can't think of any more stuff to say.