Stupid AvPD

[SilentNinja]

I'm going away to do my karate grading Fri-Sunday, one of the 8th Dans came to me today, he was visiting our club and he told me this time I've to come out my room and try socialize with people!!!

Usually i take my own food ( even though I've paid for the food there ) and i stay in my room when on our breaks and at night. I got into big trouble last year because i done that. but my coach says to let him help me, but i really really cant go to the pub with them or sit at lunch at eat with them, and for black belt i have to teach a class ( my next belt )

I'm DREADING this weekend, i keep crying. i got propranolol to take at the weekend but i have breathing problems a little bit not sure if its a allergy or asthma and it says DO NOT take if you have asthma so i wont be taking the meds this weekend. its going to be so hard :'(

Why cant i get over this stupid AvPD, its horrible :'(

I starting to think maybe i really just don't want to be around people, i don't know if i want to or don't want to, i like being alone, but i feel left out and alone when everyone's having fun ARGH.

 

[forgetmenot]

You do just what you can do hun and don't be pushed or cornered into doing anything more. You try but if it all becomes overwhelming you excuse yourself for a few minutes go outside and breath ok I hope your coach does help you and does take time to understand your illness hun Let us know how it works out ok hugs

 

[SilentNinja]

ive told him but they try make me do things more I just want to be left alone, i dont want to socialize with people or do i.. i dont know :'(
I HATE MYSELF

---------- Post Merged at 04:40 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:45 PM ----------

im waiting on another appointment with my psych but my dr says there is nothing they can do for me, is it MY FAULT im like this then? i hae tried honestly i have really tried, but i cant get better :'(

 

[GDPR]

I don't think anyone trying to force you to be social is going to help at all, won't that just make everything worse? I sure hope that doesn't happen.

Sometimes I have a hard time socializing(well actually,alot of times),and it helps when I feel I have some control over things.Like if people want to go to a certain place where I know ahead of time I will be too uncomfortable,I will agree on going some where that I would feel more comfortable. That usually works,because I'm still going somewhere with them.

And when I do have to go somewhere that I'm not comfortable at all, alot of times I will just kind of hang back and observe from a distance for a bit. I watch what everyone else is doing,find all the exits,and then when I feel comfortable enough,I slowly start mingling with other people. That way I'm not feeling overwhelmed.

I don't know if either of those can help you or not. Maybe if you compromise and they see they you're making an effort,they won't push you so much?

 

[SilentNinja]

They are really pushing me and i dont like it
because of the grade i am going for it means eventually i have to teach a class and i CANT do that.
I cant even go into a shop myself, use public transport, use a phone, be around people, its VERY uncomfterable.

If you guys were a Dr/psych would yous also give up on me? I feel like a complete hopeless IDIOT,

 

[MHealthJo]

Nobody should give up on you hun but if they find that the methods they know how to use are not helpful, it is possibly more helpful to you to refer you to someone they think might be able to help you out more?? I don't know...

Maybe with AvPD, the 'rapport' thing can be super important in order to help you...? And sometimes, one professional may simply through chance and their own personality factors, be less able to build rapport with you than another one....?

So it could be a good thing, for them to give you that chance to find the person who can do that more....?

Wondering hun are there any good books for folks with AvPD?

Great books that are specifically written for a certain diagnosis, or recommended for that diagnosis, can sometimes be a great key that guides us and unlocks new answers for us.....

Wonder if googling 'best books for AvPD' could lead you to some new hope somewhere.....?

Sorry you're going through an extra troubling time...

 

[SilentNinja]

Well i passed. It was really hard but it wasnt as busy beccause of the bad snow, usually 150 people but it was very quiet, i had to do kata, sparring, take downs, grappling, locks, breakfalls, defence against a wall, knife defence. I trust you all so here is a pic of me with my certificate.. im in the black top.

 

[MHealthJo]

SO awesome!!

Great to see a pic of you in your martial arts gear with your friends there. Everyone looks really happy including you!

You did so well to go despite your fears.

Proud!!

 

[forgetmenot]

Way to go hun congratulations

 

[SilentNinja]

thanks so much

thats the rest of my class, but only the thee of us graded. I was really happy i passed 1st Dan ( black belt ) next!