i find that my only way of communicating how i feel and what im going through is typing- i feel paranoid to tell people. I feel embarrassed about what they would think and what they currently think- they're image of me is more important than the image i have of myself--- there is so much that has gone on that i do not know how or where to express it- counseling has done me no favours- it helped to get that of my chest- but i left feeling paranoid about whether she thought it was me that was crazy....
About 3 years ago- i moved to a new area- completely fresh- i moved my partner and children to be nearer my parents- and 2 sisters. One was getting married. both had children. I had a house, partner and 2 children. Everything seemed perfect.
the climax was at a party- where my grandmother flipped at my partner for no reason. she had been fine the day before and then just flipped the next- it was unexplainable. my partner and i were both GIVEN a drink- my partner felt obligated as it was my father giving him the drink... we were not drunk. It was a party and we had a good time. (although a few days prior my partner had been asked to help my father- but we took our children out for the day- to my mothers annoyance)
The following day we went to my mothers house, i walked through the door, having had a great night- my sisters on Facebook saying what a good night it was... my grandma was sat at the table... my mother nodded at me to go, so we went to leave, my child started to cry... we went to the car... my grandma chased us.... they all did.... my grandma told my partner all kinds of ridiculous accusations... lurched at him.... fists flying... we sped off..... told us she should phone social services as we are both drunks...!
over the following months, i looked at myself hard- i had dyed my hair- because they had commented- i had changed my clothes because they mentioned... i had been at my mothers nearly every day since we had moved in... they had made ridiculous demands of us and we had just dropped everything and went...
on one occasion i had a picnic, we were passing their house, so dropped in... told my mum we were just saying hi.... and we were heading out for a picnic- she said- oh, i was just feeding these kids, there is some spare- i fed the picnic to the chickens.
Any kind of family life we had a family unit of 4 had gone out of the window.
My sister had promised to take my child to school as i couldn't drive- and my father had promised to help me learn to drive neither did. I was isolated and couldn't get out- my partner had a car and he would work most days. i was at home with 2 young children and could not get out... I'm on a farm 12miles from civilization.
On 2 occasions i was so upset i phoned her crying- she would turn up with everyone.... both my sisters.... their children... partners.... my father.... where i must have looked completely crazy....
I looked up 'NARCISSIST'
if i didn't see my mother i felt happier... the last time she came to see me because i was upset- i turned the table- i accused her- of not supporting me- and of telling my father and my sister not to help me- that all she has done is try to break us up---- only i did it after she had just spat out the same poison. IN front of everyone.
i caught her off guard- my sisters just looked at the floor.
A few weeks later- she phoned and asked if my child could go for dinner at her house- i agreed. although we knew my mother would say something nasty to her- so we asked my daughter who was 3 to tell us if grandma said anything.
the next week she went...
by the third week week my child told us that grandma had told my child that her daddy was bad- she gave details and a full situation to this being said.
I phone my mother- who dismissed my 3 year old as a liar, just like one of my sisters.
i phoned up the health visitor and told her... she advised me to cut my mother off as she was a danger- and to remove her from collecting my child from school.
My partner lost his job... we do not know why but they said 'we do not want someone like you working for us...' he was one of their best? it didn't make sense.
We went to choose schools- we went to tell my mother which one we had chosen. My partner was unemployed and we were struggling.
'if you go to this school i will pay for all of her uniform, i know you're skint... if you go to that one though... you can pay for it yourselves.'
The more contact i had with her- the more i wanted to distance myself- every conversation with her- she bad mouthed my sisters- bad mouthed their partners...
It seemed that the only time she was nice to me- was when she was bad mouthing someone.
I pushed myself away from her and from any contact- it was difficult when they would just turn up, or phone me, or invite me back to their if they met me its only a small place we live.
Christmas day we insisted that we would spend it in our home. They turned up on Christmas morning, and asked my child if she would like to play with her cousins. they took her- so later we had to collect her, we spent half of the day at theirs. and we didn't get to cook our turkey.
After this we didn't talk for a few months.... Only now... in great style my sisters husband had done something wrong- please see my earlier posts for more details....
i told him to look up narcissist. which he did... and agreed....
now he is in Dubai i haven't spoken to my parents and sisters since then.... my partner and i got married 2 weeks ago... last week there was a letter from social services... we went to see them, where they said it was malicious... a page full of allegations, that made the social worked uncomfortable to repeat....
the smear campaign has begun... and i feel very upset.... but.... i was expecting it....
i got married two weeks ago.... and feel so down at what she has done... allegations where anonymous, i was paranoid about my wedding guests... now I'm looking at selling my house...
About 3 years ago- i moved to a new area- completely fresh- i moved my partner and children to be nearer my parents- and 2 sisters. One was getting married. both had children. I had a house, partner and 2 children. Everything seemed perfect.
the climax was at a party- where my grandmother flipped at my partner for no reason. she had been fine the day before and then just flipped the next- it was unexplainable. my partner and i were both GIVEN a drink- my partner felt obligated as it was my father giving him the drink... we were not drunk. It was a party and we had a good time. (although a few days prior my partner had been asked to help my father- but we took our children out for the day- to my mothers annoyance)
The following day we went to my mothers house, i walked through the door, having had a great night- my sisters on Facebook saying what a good night it was... my grandma was sat at the table... my mother nodded at me to go, so we went to leave, my child started to cry... we went to the car... my grandma chased us.... they all did.... my grandma told my partner all kinds of ridiculous accusations... lurched at him.... fists flying... we sped off..... told us she should phone social services as we are both drunks...!
over the following months, i looked at myself hard- i had dyed my hair- because they had commented- i had changed my clothes because they mentioned... i had been at my mothers nearly every day since we had moved in... they had made ridiculous demands of us and we had just dropped everything and went...
on one occasion i had a picnic, we were passing their house, so dropped in... told my mum we were just saying hi.... and we were heading out for a picnic- she said- oh, i was just feeding these kids, there is some spare- i fed the picnic to the chickens.
Any kind of family life we had a family unit of 4 had gone out of the window.
My sister had promised to take my child to school as i couldn't drive- and my father had promised to help me learn to drive neither did. I was isolated and couldn't get out- my partner had a car and he would work most days. i was at home with 2 young children and could not get out... I'm on a farm 12miles from civilization.
On 2 occasions i was so upset i phoned her crying- she would turn up with everyone.... both my sisters.... their children... partners.... my father.... where i must have looked completely crazy....
I looked up 'NARCISSIST'
if i didn't see my mother i felt happier... the last time she came to see me because i was upset- i turned the table- i accused her- of not supporting me- and of telling my father and my sister not to help me- that all she has done is try to break us up---- only i did it after she had just spat out the same poison. IN front of everyone.
i caught her off guard- my sisters just looked at the floor.
A few weeks later- she phoned and asked if my child could go for dinner at her house- i agreed. although we knew my mother would say something nasty to her- so we asked my daughter who was 3 to tell us if grandma said anything.
the next week she went...
by the third week week my child told us that grandma had told my child that her daddy was bad- she gave details and a full situation to this being said.
I phone my mother- who dismissed my 3 year old as a liar, just like one of my sisters.
i phoned up the health visitor and told her... she advised me to cut my mother off as she was a danger- and to remove her from collecting my child from school.
My partner lost his job... we do not know why but they said 'we do not want someone like you working for us...' he was one of their best? it didn't make sense.
We went to choose schools- we went to tell my mother which one we had chosen. My partner was unemployed and we were struggling.
'if you go to this school i will pay for all of her uniform, i know you're skint... if you go to that one though... you can pay for it yourselves.'
The more contact i had with her- the more i wanted to distance myself- every conversation with her- she bad mouthed my sisters- bad mouthed their partners...
It seemed that the only time she was nice to me- was when she was bad mouthing someone.
I pushed myself away from her and from any contact- it was difficult when they would just turn up, or phone me, or invite me back to their if they met me its only a small place we live.
Christmas day we insisted that we would spend it in our home. They turned up on Christmas morning, and asked my child if she would like to play with her cousins. they took her- so later we had to collect her, we spent half of the day at theirs. and we didn't get to cook our turkey.
After this we didn't talk for a few months.... Only now... in great style my sisters husband had done something wrong- please see my earlier posts for more details....
i told him to look up narcissist. which he did... and agreed....
now he is in Dubai i haven't spoken to my parents and sisters since then.... my partner and i got married 2 weeks ago... last week there was a letter from social services... we went to see them, where they said it was malicious... a page full of allegations, that made the social worked uncomfortable to repeat....
the smear campaign has begun... and i feel very upset.... but.... i was expecting it....
i got married two weeks ago.... and feel so down at what she has done... allegations where anonymous, i was paranoid about my wedding guests... now I'm looking at selling my house...