Thinking about suicide

[SilverRaven]

I have not been here in a long time. Things were going alright. Things had been looking up for me and my family. Not anymore. I have been in 5herapy for a very long time and it hasnt helped. Ive done DBT and CBT multiple times and practice using it. Hasnt helped much. Therapist sent me to a priest who has been working with me for over 4yrs now. He says my mental anguish is because of many things. Hes been a good person to talk with but he hasnt been able to do much either. Its a spiritual warfare he says. I am at my wits end. Traumas from my past have revealed themselves and it was all related to the occult fr9m age 5. I cannot handle them. The abuse was severe. The pain from it is so bad i dont want to deal with it anymore. I hate myself for everything ive been through and havent been able to forgive. Im a devout Catholic now and I cant live with harboring so much hate towards those who hurt me and used me. Not being able to forgive is torturing me because it is something im told i need to do. So much is going on 8ncluding facing homelessness and i cant take it anymore. I am out of options.

 

[Daniel E.]

Though therapy hasn't helped you much in the past, that may have more to do with the therapist than you.

Have you tried Catholic Charities? They can often provide a therapist, a case worker, and/or help with accessing resources.

Another resource: 211 Wisconsin

There is also the national suicide prevention hotline/chat: 1-800-273-TALK

 

[Daniel E.]

So much is going on 8ncluding facing homelessness and i cant take it anymore. I am out of options.

Can you elaborate about how you are facing homelessness?

You may be out of your regular options, but there are community and government resources to help prevent homelessness.

In addition to the United Way (211.org):

Need Housing Assistance? - HUD Exchange

 

[SilverRaven]

I have tried everything to get help and nobody can help. Cathic charities doesnt help with rental assistance. Ive contacted ST. Vincent for help still wait8ng t9 hear. My h7sband lost his job last August and we fell behind and we havent been able to catch up yet. He doesnt get paid for holidays so wr havent had much to live on the past month. We owe for December and now January. I feel helpless because 8ve been trying to find a job regardless of my physical and mental disabilities and nobody will hire me. Ive filed for disability and im afraid i wont get it because 8 dont have enough work credits. Ive had multiple therapists and they jus5 sit there. None actually help. Im goingnthrough yet another new therapist and not sure how she will be yet. I just saw her for the first time last month. Im just so overwhelmed and c9nfused angry hurt and i just cant stop feeling like doing s9mething drastic. I dont want things to keep going this way. Im sick and tired of being sick and tired. Im tired of being depressed and suicidal. Im tired of being me. I just want to be normal. Ive tried every coping skills i have and i cant even f8nd comfort in 5hose. I have put others at risk with my radical behavior. No5 good. I have nomore ideas to f8nd peace.

 

[forgetmenot]

I know here the church would help people with rent money have you asked your priest about it. I am sorry everything is so overwhelming and you are struggling so much. Some government agency should be able to help you with your rent i wish my mind worked better but i know someone that needed rent money and was given first month rent to help him get off street Try not to give up on hope ask your new therapist if she knows any connections to help you. It is good to hear you have a new therapist SilerRaven new approach maybe new eyes and ears maybe will bring that hope to you. KEEP TALKING here ok we hear you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE please know that and i know that feeling of wanting to leave get so strong but that is when you make noise and reach out to anyone in you circle to help you ok.

 

[Daniel E.]

I feel helpless because 8ve been trying to find a job regardless of my physical and mental disabilities and nobody will hire me.

I have gotten help before from the local American Job Center. They know more about the local job market than anyone else. They are government funded and assigned me to a social worker. They also offered assistance to anyone unemployed/underemployed who needed help with paying for food, transportation, and/or electric bills.

 

[Daniel E.]

Regarding rent, some info from the United Way (211):

"Through 211.org or by dialing 2-1-1 you can learn about rental assistance programs in your area."

Community Resources to Help with Housing | United Way Worldwide

How to cover your rent | United Way Worldwide

BTW, as you may know, there are apps like Earnin that pay you the same day for working at a number of national employers like Walmart, Starbucks, Best Buy, Home Depot, etc., but I have not used them before.

 

[Daniel E.]

Some info from Benefits.gov:

Benefit Finder

Wisconsin Home Energy Assistance Program | Benefits.gov

 

[Daniel E.]

More info from HUD:

Housing Choice Vouchers Fact Sheet | HUD.gov / U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD)

Rental Help: Wisconsin | HUD.gov / U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Thanks for all that, @Daniel.

I've been sleeping pretty much all day - another stupid winter cold/flu thing the past couple of days.

You've been give some good advice here, @SilverRaven. I hope you will explore some of these options.

Hang in there!

 

[SilverRaven]

Thank you everyone. I did check with some of the info you provided. My landlords cousin talked to him and asked him not to evict us because we have been good tenants and we always catch up if we fall behind. So for now i have some time to see about some help.

 

[forgetmenot]

HOPE you are doing better now SilverRaven and you have found supports you need to help you.