Too long to grieve?

[momof5]

Well it is coming up on 34 years since I lost the love of my life, and I still miss him terribly.

this month is his bd. The 20th. Next month is the anniversary of his passing, the 21st. He lived to be just a month and a day at 21.

I see him just as clearly as if he were still here, and I still cry in solitude over him.

He made me so happy. I sometimes wonder how my life would be today if he didn't drown and lived. I stay in contact with his family. His sister and I were always friends. It still hurts just as much today as it did the day I found out that he died.

 

[PrincessX]

Re: too long to grieve?

I am really sorry for your loss, it sounds terrible and hard.

 

[momof5]

Re: too long to grieve?

Thanks pepi, It is so terrible and so hard and if hubbie wasn't here now I would be crying. I weep in solitude so nobody knows. My mom knows how I feel, I talk to here when no one is around.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: too long to grieve?

Ho hun hugs to you ok there is no time span a giref I am sorry for your loss hope you can spend time with your mom on the anniversary and just remember his life and cry if you need too ok no harm in crying hugs

just to let you know i understand the pain the sadness never leaves one just learns to continue to live with it i think

 

[momof5]

forgetmentnot, I dont think that I ever got to the point of living with it.

 

[forgetmenot]

i hear you i do sometimes the sadness catches one off guard but i think being able to talk about it to someone helps if you have someone like a therapist
sometimes we do get stuck and are unable to get out of the pain that is when talking to someone helps church person priest minister someone with some counseling skills
i too get stuck sometimes but when i am able to talk to therapist it helps me to release some of the deep sadness so i can function better

ihope i am making sense I just hear you and i know it is hard the loss of a love one is so hard hugs

 

[momof5]

You are making sense, and David knows, that I am one to always try to work though my own things myself. Always there for someone else, but my own things I tend to keep my own.

Not sure if that makes any sense.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Hey sweet heart, maybe it's time to put yourself first for a change. At least focus on your own pain and give it the proper attention you need to. This might at least help you. If you don't look after yourself sometimes loss and other things in the past can still affect you.

Not saying you should stop stone cold and forever, everyone still grieves sometimes. Just want to make sure you are dealing with and looking after yourself. ♥

 

[momof5]

today is Kens bd, next month on the 21st, is the day he passed.

I have also been dealing with the loss of my dad on 11/29/2012

I have to really go into the mvp section for posting the last almost two years of things. Dealing with my dad's loss is different. I'll explain that in a different post. Adding dad on top of ken has been really hard. I do smile and just go with the flow. Can't talk to hubbie because he only thinks that Ken and I were friends. He doesn't know, and for good reason, that Ken was the love of my life. I love my hubbie, just differently. If that were to make sense.

 

[forgetmenot]

Your first love if that who Ken was is always a little more special your love with your husband is as special as well but different that makes sense yes

I do think Ken would not want you to be sad

Have you commemorated his life in any way that might help bring some closure for you

I am sorry for your loss of your father as well and hope you can talk to someone about your sadness you are feeling it does help

 

[momof5]

forgetmenot,

It took me 33 years to go to his grave site. I didn't go to his funeral, but to his viewing. I was a wreck. I couldn't face seeing him burried.

He always made me so happy. i can still hear his laugh and see his bright eyes smiling. He had water blue eyes, the most beautiful I have seen.

I'm still friends with his family, and always will be. In fact, I need to give his mom a call.

 

[forgetmenot]

It is nice you stayed friends with his family you still have a connection to him in that way. He is not gone hun he is with you in your heart and your memories
He would not want you to remember him any other way but with a smile He would also want you to smile and move on hun he would want you to live your life and be free of sadness hugs

 

[momof5]

thanks forgetmenot.
:cheers-toasting: Looked for the :cosmo smile, but couldn't find it, lol