Wanting it to all stop

[forgetmenot]

They are all ill again CD all of them and i can't do anything to help them One brother is in hospital now the other locked himself in house act team is watching him and now my daughter again in emergency and my mother i had to put into respite care because i could not take care of her she is so fragile. you see i know i cannot be their carer anymore you see but i have to step in and make sure they have help i am tired of seeing all this illness and hearing all the sadness i thought it was over but it not they ae all ill all of them One is okay you know my twin she is ok now she is a survior she is a fighter and she won she has won dam it i am just tired im ok i just want it all to stop i want it all to go away that all Icannot turn and run like i did in the past I lost one i don['t want to lose anymore iam on edge waiting for a call from emergency dept but whatever happens happens i am not going anywhere i wish i had energy the courage to do what needs to be done but i don't right now i just want to sleep

 

[Retired]

I can see that your situation can be overwhelming, especially if you are expecting yourself to be the care giver for each of these people.

As in all care giver situations, you must make your own health, well being and quality of life come first, and delegate as much of the care of the others to people who can take over for you.

You cannot be all things to all people, and you must make your own well being your priority. Without you being healthy and strong, you are unable to provide help and support to those who might need it.

Are there other family members who can take some of the load from you?

 

[forgetmenot]

my twin who is now stronger is taking care of my mother she has stepped in to do t hat for awhile i just don't want my twin to become unstable too
i want them all well i want them to be ok one day maybe i will have courage to help me

 

[Retired]

i want them all well

Of course, and it would be unreasonable to feel otherwise. However, there have to be priorities, and it would seem, based on what you have shared here, that the priority should be your own well being.

I don't think it's a question of courage, as you stated, but rather just setting priorities. By feeling that you lack courage, you are unduly blaming yourself. The illness of depression or feeling exhausted from over extending youself is not a failing of behaviour, but rather the effects of the illness and not setting priorities.

In my view there are two things to do in such a situation:

Set out a list of what needs to be done, and what would be nice to get done. Need to get done are to eat nutritious meals, get at least 8 hours of restful sleep, take your medications, do your job maintain your home and take some time for yourself. Nice to get done would be just about everything else.

Understand what you are capable of accomplishing in any given time period and allow yourself that amount of time for the task. Keep your expectations reasonable, so that you don't try to take on more than you can reasonable handle.

By setting priorities and allowing time for what you need to do might just help to lower your anxiety levels, give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you in good shape to provide support for the others in your family.

Don't make their struggles your struggles.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm sorry. Lots of times when it rains it pours so they say. It sounds like a lot is on you. Try to take care of you too.

 

[forgetmenot]

no lots of apin around me so much pain for all of them so much girl i just picked up from emerg she not good but doctor gave her a choice to stay or leave and she choose to go home first she went to police dept filed a report too mch pain too mch sadness and they are all so kind in the heart people see their vulnerability and they exploit it
so much going on i am just sick of this world really and all of it demons just sick of it

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

It seems to me she is looking after family members who are ill, and people are calling her (probably health care workers and insurance and lawyers and a bunch of other people who are also looking after her family members) and she's already worried about her family members and has her own issues. She seems to feel guilty that she has her own needs, but it's pretty much a necessity to get through all these darn phone calls so that her family members are taken care of. It's stressful enough without having to deal with red tape and (in my experience) sometimes these "professionals" forget things, or misunderstand, or else you were dealing with one person and now you're dealing with someone else who says the procedure/process is completely different from what the first person told you.

That's what I got out of what she said. Her head's gonna fly off her shoulders, but she feels more anchored and distracted from these problems when she is at work where she has some control over things. She feels all this stress in relation to her own issue, and then there's the stress of her ill family members (multiple family members) and on top of that there are all these phone calls. Everyone wants her to take care of everyone else.

But I wanna know who's taking care of Eclipse?? She's left messages for her therapist. What the heck, where is that therapist? 8P

Is that about it in a nutshell, Eclipse? *hugs*

 

[forgetmenot]

Eclipse takes care of eclipse it is safe that way

 

[forgetmenot]

i just wanted to talk to someone but there is noone there never is there never was i am noone and so tired these days trying so hard to just follow my own advice take each minuteget through it
get up get dressed do what needs to be done go to sleep go to work shutting down all emotions not feeling anythiiiing i wondeeeer if it is possible o keep going and when will it all stop this endless nightmare it seems