What to do i dont know .

[forgetmenot]

My daughter is in hospital again this time she almost got hit she was running in front of traffic main road where she lives very busy street.

Anyways she is suicidal so she is in hospital Psychiatric unit now been in hospital since Thursday evening.

Sorry i dont know what to do anymore no one seems to want to follow up with her medication changes.

I want to know will i do more damage by going to see her is this interfering i dont know anymore

I was thinking about calling again that is hard for me to do i have tried now but each time i hang up phone

i want to go see her even knowing i will be affected by doing so she needs to know someone is there right or am i wrong

I don't know anymore what to do

Both her and my twin are very unstable with the death of my mother i do not know i am uncertain about anything i do. I certainly don't want to interfere with any care that she may get.
so hard omg Maybe just call right i dont know

 

[GaryQ]

I think you should follow your heart and listen to it. You’re the only person who is really constantly looking out for her. Don’t stop now please.

 

[forgetmenot]

ok then i will call the floor and see if ican talk to her

Why is so hard to call uggg but i will. I do feel no matter what someone deserves to have someone that never gives up on them right.

 

[forgetmenot]

uggggg just talked with her let her know that she need to speak up and ask for help to get meds regulated but also if they will not help her to call me not go to the streets. I pray that someone steps in and reassesses her medication it needs to be reassessed that all. Tired now will wait until she calls me back i should sleep for a bit i did not sleep at all last night and if i am to drive i need to sleep some but i am glad i called her Thanks GaryQ for helping me thanks

 

[GaryQ]

That’s the best you could do for now. And yes time to rest for you!

 

[Daniel E.]

Does she have any interest in therapy? Or does she usually think therapy is hopeless or stupid?

I know in the hospitals here they provide little in the way of individual therapy. It is mostly groups.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

When you feel up to it, it might be helpful to go to the hospital and speak to the ward staff while you are there. Let them know that your daughter needs to have her medications updated and monitored - that it's not really that she is noncompliant bur rather that she doesn't know what to do or how to ask for help with her medications.

Maybe you're husband could go with you to support you?

 

[forgetmenot]

My daughter believes in therapy she will be starting dbt with pinewood therapist.

I am waiting to hear back from her they might just discharge her i dont know

I have talked with her Community team about followup with medication changes and reassessment of her medication already but they help her when she is out of hospital and it is up to her team to talk to her Psychiatrist because she is not able to do it herself.

If she calls me again i will ask to talk to her nurse there it all depends what the doctor does tonight if they decide to keep her or not.

Unfortunately my hsb will not support me in that way.

He has walked away long time ago from all of this.

You are right in saying it is not that she is non compliant is that she gets overwhelmed because she does not feel anyone is listening to her so why try.

I feel for her there because it seems no one wants to listen anymore. It is very frustrating that no one seems to follow through with medication changes, blood levels etc. I have brought that up with her team as well.

 

[GaryQ]

FMN, Did you manage to get a bit of sleep?

 

[forgetmenot]

Not sleep but i lied down for an hour

i will crash probably later but Grandkids are coming over i just heard as grandpa birthday is tomorrow.

I hope now my daughter does not call because i will have to leave if she is discharged

i hope they keep her until tomorrow when her ACT team will be available to support her and also deal with any medication problems as well

 

[forgetmenot]

Girl called they are going to keep her until doctor sees her tomorrow now

i will go down to see her tomorrow at noon i hope have bank appt in morning to deal with.

Got a list of things to bring her lol pepsi, coconut water, ice cap and fruit apparently she get juice and sandwich morning noon and supper that it when you are in emergency so she is not eating.

I will bring her some fruit and yogurt, some salad all has to be cold no hot foods rules.

So hopefully will be able to stop off grocery store somewhere and get that stuff on the way through.

Im tired now exhausted grandchildren sure can wear one out

. Hopefully i can talk to nurse tomorrow re adjusting meds having her go inpatient but i am not holding my breath.

 

[forgetmenot]

I finally crashed got 6hr sleep yes still tired a bit but slept I have to somehow not let myself dissociate today when i go into that dam lock up to see my daughter . it is very triggering to be there i hate i just hate being locked in anywhere i hate it.

Will try so hard to breath slowly and focus on what needs to be done for my girl. I also pray that the nurse that was there before is not there today. I pray the nurse will just listen and report what i said to the doctor. I have to get moving lots to do bank appt first get gift for hsb today his birthday and grocery store get girl things and get down to the city and then back. uggggg traffic lots of it just breath that is all i can do is just keep breathing slowly right. One thing at a time Dam i dont understand why the mentally ill have to be locked up in boxes it is so dehumanizing.

ok im off thanks for listening i will be ok i have to be ok just want them to listen get my girls meds readjusted and do follow through with lithium blood levels.

 

[GaryQ]

Thanks for keeping us updated FMN. Really glad to hear you slept. Sadly, you have to remember that although the lockup seems dehumanizing it is to protect her from harming herself. What I don’t get is why they always let her go back out so quickly without her being fully stabilized and actually ready to leave. I guess the fact she has that ACT team probably doesn’t help in that situation. Stay calm, yet firm and most of all stay safe today.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Unfortunately, there are two reasons for why that happens:

1. no Ontario government has put any funding into mental health facilities in at least the last 20 years, probably 30 years; and

2. our current laws, put in place to protect individual rights, effectively mean that after 72 hours, unless she is an imminent risk of harm to self or others (and the emphasis is on imminent, i.e., immediate), or agrees to stay on as a voluntary patient (assuming they even have the beds for involuntary patients which is rare), they have to release her.

The reality is that once they have the patient on medication, the Imminent risk clause disappears, at least until the medication wears off. And many mental health facilities simply don't have the beds or the staff to keep voluntary patients due to years and years of underfunding. And because these places are so dreary and overcrowded, not many patients will agree to stay on as voluntary even if there were a bed available.

 

[forgetmenot]

im home i got to talk to a male nurse he was very kind and calm very calm much needed and stated my concerns. Daughter said they were going to release her today but she asked them to reassess her meds so it seems they will keep her for now anyways . The psychiatrist that talk to her this morning i have such high regards for one of the best really. I hope he can help her i truly do hope he will step in and reassess her meds i hope. I was asked to leave after only an hour there some rule stating only 2 visitors are allowed in lock up at a time seeing i was there for an hour i was asked to leave. If i ever came into alot of money i would create a facility that the ones that are suffering from mental illness could go to and just talk and be HEARD BE HEARD LISTENED TOO and helped that is all they want is help. Tired now really being locked up is not good i dont think it is good for anyone.

 

[GaryQ]

It’s great to hear she actually asked to stay and have her meds reassessed.
I was totally not expecting that.

There’s a picture of a tree that I took in Newfoundland... I have to find and post it on my Cross Canada Trip thread. You remind me of it. When I find and post it sometime soon with my comments I think you’ll understand why.

She’s safe for now so time for you to rest and recover a bit.
As Dr. B. Always says: you have to take care of yourself or you won’t have the strength to keep taking care of everyone else!

 

[forgetmenot]

Yes i was very impressed with her asking to stay until her meds were reassessed now i hope they do that for her. Yes time for me to rest yes some holding everything in right now i think if i could sleep it would help some I look forward to seeing the picture of your tree you saw resting now

 

[Daniel E.]

And because these places are so dreary and overcrowded, not many patients will agree to stay on as voluntary even if there were a bed available.

I was at a place like that once in my late teens. Was so ready to get out I told the doctor I felt "like a million dollars." All my depression had turned to anxiety being there. And then felt relief getting out after seeing the doctor.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I can well imagine. I worked in some of those places years ago. Some are pretty grim.

 

[forgetmenot]

The whole process is dam ridiculous it really is was told yesterday they would keep her evaluate her meds.

TODAY i get a call from her they are releasing me her pdoc does not want to sign form to get her diagnosis reevaluated

i guess she asked if she could get a second opinion on her diagnosis he did not like that.

So they gave her double valium and released her to the streets they did not even wait for me to come pick her up.

I got there could not find her again i start panicking saw some nurses i use to work with ask them to keep an eye out for her

i hate this i really do because they dont give a dam about the people they really dont

To give someone with addictive personality not only valium but ativan just to keep her sedated what a joke.

I finally found her in the park passed out from meds lying on the grass helped her back to my vehicle phone her act team let them know she was with me.

So tired of trying she was told if she wants another opinion from Whitby psych about her diagnosis she would have to get another doctor to fill out the application form. would it have hurt him so much just to give her that choice to help her be at ease at what her diagnosis really is

she has had so many diagnosis and even if she is wrong about what she thinks she has at least she is taking interest in herself and her health. I
am just grateful i found her and she is with me now away from that place I am sorry but it is not a good place it is not.