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Characteristics of Abusive Men
Center for Children and Families in the Justice System
Aug 19, 2013
This material was summarized from Lundy Bancroft & Jay Silverman (2002). The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Center for Children and Families in the Justice System
Aug 19, 2013
| Control | Control is the "overarching behavioural characteristic" of abusive men, achieved with criticism, verbal abuse, financial control, isolation, cruelty, etc. (see Power & Control Wheel). The need to control may deepen over time or escalate if a woman seeks independence (e.g. going to school). | |
| Entitlement | Entitlement is the "overarching attitudinal characteristic" of abusive men, a belief in having special rights without responsibilities, justifying unreasonable expectations (e.g., family life must centre on his needs). He will feel the wronged party when his needs are not met and may justify violence as self-defence. | |
| Selfishness & Self-centredness | An expectation of being the centre of attention, having his needs anticipated. May not support or listen to others. | |
| Superiority | Contempt for woman as stupid, unworthy, a sex object or as a house keeper. | |
| Possessiveness | Seeing a woman and his children as property. | |
| Confusing Love & Abuse | Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love. | |
| Manipulativeness | A tactic of confusion, distortion and lies. May project image of himself as good, and portray the woman as crazy or abusive. | |
| Contradictory Statements & Behaviours | Saying one thing and doing another, such as being publicly critical of men who abuse women. | |
| Externalization of Responsibility | Shifting blame for his actions and their effects to others, especially the woman, or to external factors such as job stress. | |
| Denial, Minimization, & Victim Blaming | Refusing to acknowledge abusive behaviour (e.g. she fell), not acknowledging the seriousness of his behaviour and its effects (e.g., it's just a scratch), blaming the victim (e.g., she drove me to it; she made it up because I have a new girlfriend). | |
| Serial Battering | Some men are abusive in relationship after relationship. |
Men can exhibit some or all of these characteristics and never physically assault a woman.
This material was summarized from Lundy Bancroft & Jay Silverman (2002). The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
