Chronic Suicidality ... Playing the long game ...

[A Nonny Mouse]

Their father will assume full permenant care if we have crisis team involved again or any other such stuff. Basically we are not allowed to display any negative traits. Because we asked for help a few weeks back when attempted to end life, it resulted in crisis teams being involved and him moving back into the house and us moving out (into the car at that point) we now live in the shed in the garden, he and his gf live in the house with the kids. We are trying desperatly to keep it temporayry. But if crisis happens again, we will lose them.

 

[Jesse910]

Nonny:

Your love for your children comes through loud and clear. This is the reason why I believe and as Steve mentioned that you need to talk with someone in legal services to find out what your rights are with regards to your children. Your ex appears to have a lot of power over you and that may or may not be right. I know how much you love the kids, but you need assistance.

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

Assistance where ? We've been screaming out for months, no-one listens. No-one (in terms of mental health workers) does anything. All well and good saying get help. There isn't any. And we cannot access any crisis service anymore. Legally we cannot do anything. If we try and regain control of the kids, he has already said he will fight for custody and will win (he will win) so ... Is this or nothing.... Eventually our body will give up and we can sleep and never wake.

 

[MHealthJo]

I wonder Nonny if your hope in having some custody or rights with your kids is as hopeless as you think it is?

Even when there are illnesses or problems in a person... does that truly mean that someone else can threaten and take all their rights away....? I don't know if that could really happen if you are not a danger to your children... I thought that someone would have to be a real major direct danger to their kids to be able to have all their rights taken away so easily like that. And I don't think that the law system would look very well on a parent who lets another parent live in a shed, and also stops the other parent from getting health care by using custody threats.

 

[Mari]

I agree with Steve that it might be time for some legal assistance and that you really need someone on your side. When I could not advocate for myself I was directed to a lawyer and the people who would not listen to me did listen to my lawyer and it sure helped. The following information might be helpful to you. You and your children are worth every step forward that you can take.

"The first thing to do if you believe your human rights may have been breached is to talk to someone else about the problem. It may sound obvious, but it is surprisingly common to feel scared to speak up about a situation ? for fear of possible repercussions, perhaps.You could talk to a trusted friend, relative or colleague or you can consider talking to someone who may be part of a support group or advice line. This will help you to consider the issue as objectively as possible. Remember that, however distressing, your situation may not legally involve human rights concerns.Find out more about potential organisations who may be able to offer you help or advice with your problem."

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

Thanks, but doesn't matter. Everyone knows the situation, and sure if it was an issue something would be said or done. Obviously us over-reacting as per usual. Just fed up of waiting to die ...

 

[MHealthJo]

Sometimes people who should help with a situation don't, until legally they are pressured to or until they are pressured to by some other force (for example what the public would think if a situation was known, pressure from higher levels in an organisation, pressure from an advocate or person who really knows the law and knows your rights.)

I really do think hun that there is someone who could help you, just maybe not the people who have known your situation so far....

 

[rdw]

Everyone knows the situation..

who is everyone? How are your children coping with the change in the living environment?

 

[Retired]

Just fed up of waiting to die ...

I would submit that your reason to live is to protect your children from the family members you say have let you down. You need to get legal help in order to protect your rights while getting the medical help you need.

 

[Retired]

Additionally NHS Choices offers a number of crisis resources for help with suicidal thoughts

Legal Aid services in the U.K.

Check If You Qualify for Legal Aid

I answered the questions related to your situation and it appears your situation qualifies for legal aid, Nonny.

 

[forgetmenot]

The only way to keep your children is to get yourself strong and healthy so you have the grounds to help them ok If you are gone they who helps them no one

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

They are safe with their dad, he would never ever do anything to hurt them. All this is his way of protecting them. We both put them first, no matter what. It was our stupidity that led to this. Not his actions. He is just protecting the kids. He isn't the bad guy here. Its just hard to deal with and with nothing changing inside. We still do not want to live. We will, we have no choice. But we don't want to. We have no desire to. We spend every moment of everyday wishing we would never wake again. Wishing the wounds we've caused willl finally cause severe enough damage to the heart or the tablets will finally cause the liver to fail. Death by misadventure ...

---------- Post Merged at 12:12 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:08 AM ----------

Thank you, everyone that responded or tried to help. Just got to learn to suck it up and .... Just .. Wish we weren't so useless and pathetic.

 

[rdw]

If he is not the bad guy and would do anything for his children why not take this opportunity to seek the help you need to heal? Frankly to refuse to pursue a healthy life for yourself robs your children of a relationship that is vital to them now and in the future. Children need their parents in their lives long past childhood.

 

[forgetmenot]

YOu are harming your children then by harming you YOU are harming them you are passing on the suicidal trait teaching them the only way out is to do themselves in
Your voices your thoughts can be helped with therapy meds YOU can be helped thus helping your children showing them that when one is not well it is ok to reach out and to get help one needs to heal

I too have constant thoughts of leaving all time i want to so badly leave but i don't because i won't harm anyone i care for i won't by leaving i won't and neither can you

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

Wow thanks for replies and blame. Game over then eh. Codiene intake is upping matter of time hopefully. Like anyone gives a toss ...

 

[Harebells]

Sorry you're feeling so awful nonny mouse. Do you still get to see your kids much? What age are they? (only if you want to say) Are you getting any help/support at the moment? Sorry if you've said all this before, I haven't read the whole thread. I hope you feel better soon, but I understand how it can feel hopeless. hugs x

 

[Retired]

No one has been blaming you, but they have been trying to bring the reality of your situation to you. Your actions, whatever you choose to do, will impact your children for the rest of their lives. They are your reasons for living, and are the ones who care most about what you do.

In a suicide, the ones who are impacted most severely are the innocent family members and friends of the perpetrator.

There are solutions to your situation, but you need to act on some of the suggestions that have been made to you.

Have you reached out to your local resources?

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

What local resources ?? They all know what's going on. They all know we are just waiting to die, they know. It doesn't matter. As long as we turn up for group therapy and take whatever they prescribe, it doesn't matter. Compliance. As long as we comply. Harebells, we live in the shed of the house so see the kids everyday as cheaper than childcare.

 

[rdw]

No one is blaming you but I know that you have to heal yourself to be the mother your children deserve. Take our advice or don't as you see fit - your choice.

 

[A Nonny Mouse]

There is no choice, why can't people understand this ? Think its fun not wanting to live ? To wish every second of everyday that it will be our last ? To not want things better ... ? Yeah ok, whoop whoop we love it, we relish it, we adore the hell hole this existance is ... Anyone else want to join our party ?? We have cake ...