Marny Navis
Member
I have realized recently that I have a problem with obsessing over girls too much and before an actual relationship has been established. I'm still in high school and since I haven't had a long-lasting relationship to this point, the whole "girls" thing is all very new to me and I'm going through a lot of new emotions. As a result, I have some questions and issues that I have for you guys in hopes of finding some solutions to my problem. I understand that this is unhealthy behavior (the first step is admitting, right? 
), so I want to find a way to overcome this problem.
As far back as I can remember, I have almost always had a certain girl that I "liked," and inevitably this would lead to me thinking about them very often, even if it's a person that I haven't talked to very much. I've never really given up an "obsession," --which, although it's embarrassing, is probably the appropriate term here -- I've merely moved on to a different girl and started thinking about possibly having a relationship with them. None of these crushes ever turned into a relationship except one, and that lasted about a week, and I shoulder most of the blame for that one. I was too attached and it was unhealthy.
Most recently, I've moved on to a girl that's three years younger than me, and since I'm an older guy I guess that makes it more likely that a relationship could eventually develop. She's written on my wall on Facebook and she's talked to her friends about me, and apparently I'm cute :2thumbs:. Sounds like a great start for a possible relationship, right? Well, not if I don't fix this problem ASAP, and I definitely don't want a potentially good relationship to go down the drain because of me.
Lately, I've been thinking about her a lot. She's almost always on my mind because that is the only thing that interests me enough to think about all the time, unless I'm hanging out with close friends and truly enjoying myself. I've been over-analyzing pretty much every conversation to the smallest detail, and even if it appears to be a positive conversation, which I'm sure she sees it as as well, the smallest thing can turn it into a negative conversation for me, like if I notice she hasn't used a smiley face or something. Haha, actually typing it makes me chuckle at how nit-picky that is. :lol:
When I'm around her, my emotions sway even more strongly. If she's talking to another guy that I think could be competition, I always end up feeling hurt and suddenly lose all excitement and go into a bad mood. Conversely, when she starts talking to me or does anything that I would classify as a "good" thing, I get really happy and excited, and it's a great feeling.
I've been trying to deal with these feelings recently (by the way, I've been talking to her for about a week and a half), but I haven't been able to come up with something that solves the issue in the long term. I've tried driving around, listening to music, and running, and while I've gained temporary solace in those activities, it obviously hasn't fixed the problem. I really want to find a way to fight this obsession, and I'm hoping to get some help with that from this forum.
I've looked around and read some Yahoo! Answers responses, and a lot of people suggest to watch TV or do something distracting. While I'm sure these are good short term tools and might have their place in dealing with my emotions, I want to find a way to change my mental state to one that can hopefully have a relationship in which I feel great love for someone but also be able to truly enjoy myself when I'm not with/texting that person.
A couple of things that really fuel the fire to my obsession is my cell phone and Facebook. A lot of times I'll sit and play 360 or do homework, but I'll have Facebook up or I'll be subconsciously hoping for a text. I'm going to try to have less dependence on these two objects because they're both the mediums through which most of my bad moods start. That will hopefully help me a bit while I'm not talking to that person.
What I'm hoping for from you guys is some help with changing the way I act and feel when negative situations arise, like feeling lonely or jealous. I can't keep relying on driving around and running to give me a short fix all the time, I want to be able to change the way I think and react concerning girls that I like, because that's how I'll find a permanent solution IMO. If you have anything at all that can help me through this, that would be greatly appreciated, I definitely don't want to be the guy that can't live without his girlfriend and has no sense of individuality.
), so I want to find a way to overcome this problem.As far back as I can remember, I have almost always had a certain girl that I "liked," and inevitably this would lead to me thinking about them very often, even if it's a person that I haven't talked to very much. I've never really given up an "obsession," --which, although it's embarrassing, is probably the appropriate term here -- I've merely moved on to a different girl and started thinking about possibly having a relationship with them. None of these crushes ever turned into a relationship except one, and that lasted about a week, and I shoulder most of the blame for that one. I was too attached and it was unhealthy.
Most recently, I've moved on to a girl that's three years younger than me, and since I'm an older guy I guess that makes it more likely that a relationship could eventually develop. She's written on my wall on Facebook and she's talked to her friends about me, and apparently I'm cute :2thumbs:. Sounds like a great start for a possible relationship, right? Well, not if I don't fix this problem ASAP, and I definitely don't want a potentially good relationship to go down the drain because of me.
Lately, I've been thinking about her a lot. She's almost always on my mind because that is the only thing that interests me enough to think about all the time, unless I'm hanging out with close friends and truly enjoying myself. I've been over-analyzing pretty much every conversation to the smallest detail, and even if it appears to be a positive conversation, which I'm sure she sees it as as well, the smallest thing can turn it into a negative conversation for me, like if I notice she hasn't used a smiley face or something. Haha, actually typing it makes me chuckle at how nit-picky that is. :lol:
When I'm around her, my emotions sway even more strongly. If she's talking to another guy that I think could be competition, I always end up feeling hurt and suddenly lose all excitement and go into a bad mood. Conversely, when she starts talking to me or does anything that I would classify as a "good" thing, I get really happy and excited, and it's a great feeling.
I've been trying to deal with these feelings recently (by the way, I've been talking to her for about a week and a half), but I haven't been able to come up with something that solves the issue in the long term. I've tried driving around, listening to music, and running, and while I've gained temporary solace in those activities, it obviously hasn't fixed the problem. I really want to find a way to fight this obsession, and I'm hoping to get some help with that from this forum.
I've looked around and read some Yahoo! Answers responses, and a lot of people suggest to watch TV or do something distracting. While I'm sure these are good short term tools and might have their place in dealing with my emotions, I want to find a way to change my mental state to one that can hopefully have a relationship in which I feel great love for someone but also be able to truly enjoy myself when I'm not with/texting that person.
A couple of things that really fuel the fire to my obsession is my cell phone and Facebook. A lot of times I'll sit and play 360 or do homework, but I'll have Facebook up or I'll be subconsciously hoping for a text. I'm going to try to have less dependence on these two objects because they're both the mediums through which most of my bad moods start. That will hopefully help me a bit while I'm not talking to that person.
What I'm hoping for from you guys is some help with changing the way I act and feel when negative situations arise, like feeling lonely or jealous. I can't keep relying on driving around and running to give me a short fix all the time, I want to be able to change the way I think and react concerning girls that I like, because that's how I'll find a permanent solution IMO. If you have anything at all that can help me through this, that would be greatly appreciated, I definitely don't want to be the guy that can't live without his girlfriend and has no sense of individuality.
