Jason C. DeWilde
Member
Let me begin by giving an overview of my situation.
When I was very young, my mother was diagnosed as being a paranoid schizophrenic with delusional tendencies. Although I was very young and have no memories of any out-of-the-ordinary behaviors on her part, this may also be attributed to the fact that I was removed from her custody shortly after said diagnosis.
As a youth I never quite fit in with others in my age group. I had few friends, and preferred to spend most of my time at home, preferably watching television, playing videogames, or using the internet. I always did well in school, but had trouble focusing. At one point I was diagnosed as having ADHD, and I spent several years on Ritalin. I had little to no contact with my biological mother for most of my juvenile life, and therefore was satisfied with a very cursory explanation of what was wrong with her.
Now, I am nearly 20 years old, and I find myself with many difficult questions that I am unable to find answers for. I can only hope to receive some help here.
Over the last few years, I have become worried about my mental health. Although there have never been any outward signs of illness, I often worry about developing schizophrenia. I am told that schizophrenia often develops late in life, and there will be no way of knowing whether I posess it until symptoms develop. Being an adult now, I am able to speak to my mother, and see her if I so choose. I have seen her several times over the last few years, but in truth it bothers me deeply. When I am with her, I am often plagued by the thought that she is the embodiment of my deepest fear. Although she is outwardly normal, [albeit quirky] she does occasionally write me letters, and it's in these that her illness shows through.
Furthermore, another member of my family seems to have developed schizophrenia as well. My uncle unfortunately chose to abuse drugs earlier in his life, and although I am unclear on the exact details, he seemed to develop mental illness very very quickly. It seemed at the time as if one week we were discussing things that an uncle and nephew may discuss, and the next he was practically an invalid that whispers to himself constantly. He seems to posess none of his former intelligence, and his life may be described as simply existing. Although I realize that he instigated his condition by using drugs, the prospect of becoming like this terrifies me. Incidentally, he is like this -after- taking his myriad antipsychotic medications. I can't imagine what he'd be like if he did not take them.
On to the point. How can I deal with not knowing whether I will become mentally ill later in life? Are schizophrenic people capable of holding down jobs and living "normal" lives with the help of medications? I would really appreciate some input on ways I can handle this, as the worry of [to be blunt] going insane has begun to interfere with my day to day life.
Regards,
J
When I was very young, my mother was diagnosed as being a paranoid schizophrenic with delusional tendencies. Although I was very young and have no memories of any out-of-the-ordinary behaviors on her part, this may also be attributed to the fact that I was removed from her custody shortly after said diagnosis.
As a youth I never quite fit in with others in my age group. I had few friends, and preferred to spend most of my time at home, preferably watching television, playing videogames, or using the internet. I always did well in school, but had trouble focusing. At one point I was diagnosed as having ADHD, and I spent several years on Ritalin. I had little to no contact with my biological mother for most of my juvenile life, and therefore was satisfied with a very cursory explanation of what was wrong with her.
Now, I am nearly 20 years old, and I find myself with many difficult questions that I am unable to find answers for. I can only hope to receive some help here.
Over the last few years, I have become worried about my mental health. Although there have never been any outward signs of illness, I often worry about developing schizophrenia. I am told that schizophrenia often develops late in life, and there will be no way of knowing whether I posess it until symptoms develop. Being an adult now, I am able to speak to my mother, and see her if I so choose. I have seen her several times over the last few years, but in truth it bothers me deeply. When I am with her, I am often plagued by the thought that she is the embodiment of my deepest fear. Although she is outwardly normal, [albeit quirky] she does occasionally write me letters, and it's in these that her illness shows through.
Furthermore, another member of my family seems to have developed schizophrenia as well. My uncle unfortunately chose to abuse drugs earlier in his life, and although I am unclear on the exact details, he seemed to develop mental illness very very quickly. It seemed at the time as if one week we were discussing things that an uncle and nephew may discuss, and the next he was practically an invalid that whispers to himself constantly. He seems to posess none of his former intelligence, and his life may be described as simply existing. Although I realize that he instigated his condition by using drugs, the prospect of becoming like this terrifies me. Incidentally, he is like this -after- taking his myriad antipsychotic medications. I can't imagine what he'd be like if he did not take them.
On to the point. How can I deal with not knowing whether I will become mentally ill later in life? Are schizophrenic people capable of holding down jobs and living "normal" lives with the help of medications? I would really appreciate some input on ways I can handle this, as the worry of [to be blunt] going insane has begun to interfere with my day to day life.
Regards,
J
