Goals in Therapy

[Peanut]

Hey, definitely! I know the feeling of not wanting to hurt people's feelings or give them bad news. I also am quite familiar with buckling under the pressure when the time does come to say something (especially in therapy). But just remember that you have all of us backing you up and rooting for you. Sometimes, even though it is hard, we have to say something to save ourselves! Plus, I think if your psychiatrist really knew how you felt, she would not want you to stay with her just out of obligation. I'm sure she wants you to do well too.

In terms of broaching the subject, maybe if you just give an opening statement like, "There's actually something that I have been really thinking about a lot and it's hard for me to talk about it because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I really need to discuss it with you...". Maybe that way if you create that opening you won't let yourself squirm out of saying what you really want to say, and if she knows there's something like that that you need to talk about hopefully she can help you open up about it.

Hasn't she mentioned referring you for CBT before this anyway?

Don't worry about bothering us. I'm exactly the same way. It helps to talk about it--for the input and just to get your own thoughts clear. Keep talking--I always love to read what you have to say!

 

[ThatLady]

Another thing you might try, Nancy, is to tell your Psychiatrist that you really don't feel you're making the progress you'd like to make at this time, and that you think having someone to talk to on a regular basis might be very helpful in your quest for wellness. Then, ask her if she can recommend a psychologist trained in CBT. That way, it's not like you're rejecting your Psychiatrist's help. You're actually inviting her participation in your decision to proceed with CBT. Even if you decide against the person she recommends, I think this approach might be easier for you, since it's collaborative rather than confrontational.

 

[comfortzone]

It is an opportunity for addressing the issues that go on in their lives, getting their medications stablized, and I tell them it is like a "regrouping."

thank you for explaining how you interact with your clients and teaching them to see hospitalization as a step forward. At least for your clients you were there for them. Not so in my case, my stay in hospital was mainly about staying alive, resting and meds, no counselling. altho as i have said elsewhere the nurses were great, some of them would make excellent psychologists.

apart from helpingme stay alive, i still see being hospitalized as a negative whic i suppose could sound like a contradiction as it did help me to stay HERE.

thanks again Comfortzone for your response and may you continue for along time being the person yu are.

You are welcome NSA. I wish that your stay in the hospital would have been better for you. Not all my clients believe being hospitalized is a step forward. I still remain supportive of her as I think it is important to know my perception is not negative. I am thankful that you are staying alive. I wish for the very best in your life for the effective treatment and that your goals are met. I appreciate you kind words as they mean a lot to me. Thank you!

Please take care Nancy and NSA...you are in my thoughts

 

[Halo]

Hasn't she mentioned referring you for CBT before this anyway?

Toeless, yes she has mentioned both group therapy and CBT before but it was just once it was a very passing thing. She has never brought it up and I have never approached the subject either. I guess it is probably because I didn't want to see to anxious about it.

Another thing you might try, Nancy, is to tell your Psychiatrist that you really don't feel you're making the progress you'd like to make at this time, and that you think having someone to talk to on a regular basis might be very helpful in your quest for wellness. Then, ask her if she can recommend a psychologist trained in CBT. That way, it's not like you're rejecting your Psychiatrist's help. You're actually inviting her participation in your decision to proceed with CBT. Even if you decide against the person she recommends, I think this approach might be easier for you, since it's collaborative rather than confrontational.

That Lady, thank you soooooo much for what you wrote. It really helped me to see the polite and non-confrontational approach that I want to take. I didn't know how to say it until I read your post. Everything that I came up with was very negative and I was scared of how she was going to take it. Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart because with having this new knowledge of how I want to approach her I really think that I can do it. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

Thank you all so much. And again, as tomorrow moves closer I am sure that I will be posting more so that I can alieviate my fears.

Take Care
Nancy

 

[foghlaim]

having this new knowledge of how I want to approach her I really think that I can do it.

yes you can doit Nancy, even if u have to memorize what TL wrote, you can do it.

will be thinking of you tomorow.
let us know how u got on ok.
by the way.. i myself will be seeing diff doc for meds and previous psych for cbt and psychotherapy. soit can be done.. over here anyway.

best wishes for tomorow.

nsa

 

[Halo]

Thank you NSA and see you said that you would provide support for me and now you have. I really appreciate all the confidence that everyone has in me and yes I will definitely update all of you on how it went.

Oh, I have another concern.....I am suppose to do a double session tomorrow of EMDR however I don't know if I should bring up my concerns before or after. I know that I probably sound stupid for not being able to make this decision on my own but I just need some guidance.

Thanks
Nancy

 

[foghlaim]

I suppose to some degree that depends on you usually feel after the emdr. it really is up to you. personally i would bring it up at the beginning of the session, that way it won't be bothering you while you go thru the emdr. Don't worry about your therapist and how she might feel, remember she is there for you, not the other way round.
( i seem to remember you had a concern about her feelings)

anyway that's just my opinion.. don't know if it helps any.

nsa

 

[Halo]

I know that it depends on me and when I want to bring it up. Normally after EMDR I am so anxious that I just want to run so I think my best bet would be to bring it up at the beginning. I think you are right.

As for my concerns about her feelings, yes I do have those thoughts a lot but I am really trying (trying hard) to think of myself and not about her. This way of thinking is so foreign to me and uncomfortable but I know that I need to think of myself and not about her.

Thanks for your support and opinion.
Nancy

 

[foghlaim]

in the thread "do they really care" it was said that all therapists are trained to remain objective while caring about the client and only wanting what's best for the client.
that means that what you say to her will not be taken personally by her, and therefore you won't be hurting her feelings.
so even tho it's foreign to you to think only of yourself, this is one of those times when it's perfectly okay and right to do so.
hope this makes you feel a little better about saying what you need to say for YOU!
nsa

 

[ThatLady]

No need to thank me, Nancy. Usually, it's a lot easier to come up with the right thing to say when you're not the one faced with the problem.

I think it's probably best to approach the subject at the beginning of the session; especially, if you feel really stressed after the EMDR. You'll feel better once you've discussed your thoughts and feelings.

 

[Holly]

i have read thru a lot of the posts here, diff topics etc and the question of goals for clients seems to crop up every so often. I thought that maybe a thread where, for those who choose to, could maybe try and come up with goals for themselves.
as for myself - off the top of my head:

• to not want out of this world,
• to be able to go where i want and not fear, crowds, spaces etc.
• to be able to drive again
• to not want to si all the time
• to not have\feel depression
• to get off these meds.
• and to get the right therapy\therapist to help me find me.

maybe these aren't goals, maybe they are only fantasies, but they are some of the things i would like to happen.

nsa

Dear notsureanymore,
I admire your strength, honesty, in respect to achieving your goals. I wanted to say I personally think your a wonderful person who can met this challenge.
I enjoy your contribution to the forum on issues. You are very much an inspiration to many! All the best, take care

 

[foghlaim]

thank you Holly, for saying such nice things about me, tho i don't deserve such admiration. it's all of you here that inspire me to keep going, keep trying, without the support i get here, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be "HERE".

i think i'm blessed to have found this site and all of ye. Thanks for being here.

nsa

 

[ThatLady]

Heh. I agree with Holly, nsa! I'm really glad you're here, and really proud of the work you're doing for yourself. You ARE an inspiration, whether you can see it, or not. So much of our progress comes from the ability to see ourselves and be honest about who we are and what we need. You do that here.

I don't think there's anyone alive who doesn't put on a "happy face" once in awhile. When things are going screwball at home, most people will keep it to themselves while they're working, and vice versa. It doesn't mean you're "lying", or not being yourself. It just means you're trying not to trouble others with your problems. Admittedly, sometimes we take that too far and don't talk straight to those we should be talking straight to, but you DO talk straight here. As long as you talk straight here, and to your doctors, you're doing just fine, hon.

Remember, everyone has "safe places" and "not-so-safe places". It's good to know which is which.

 

[Halo]

TL that was great advice. It was something that I also needed to read. I like the part about not feeling like I am lying and needing to talk straight to some people ( which I should do more ).

Thanks again for your great wisdom you share.

Nancy

 

[ThatLady]

Heh. A good deal of this "great wisdom" with which I'm sometimes credited has come from living through what you're living through and having help from a really great doctor to sort it out. So much of what I share I, too, had to learn. If we can pass on that which we have learned to another, and that other can pass it on to still another, great gains can be made for many.

 

[foghlaim]

If we can pass on that which we have learned to another, and that other can pass it on to still another, great gains can be made for many

I like that TL and it's exactly what you do..and others too.. and i'm very grateful to have you and the others here.

like Nancy says.. thanks for sharing your wisdom and experiences.

 

[ThatLady]

You're very welcome, Nancy and nsa. I'm very pleased to have found this place, as well, and grateful to Dr. Baxter for providing it.

 

[Halo]

I too am grateful that this forum is here...especially to Dr. Baxter for the brilliant idea of creating it. I often wonder where my life would be if I didn't have all of you people to talk with and not have to keep in all hidden in my head.

Thank you to everyone....with a special thank you to Dr. Baxter.

Nancy

 

[Halo]

Hi All,

Well as most of you know, today is the big day!! I have my appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I have actually printed out my life of goals as they are above. I am going to bring them to her and tell her that I don't think that I am making much progress at this time and then ask her if she can help me with finding someone who I can see on a more frequent basis to achieve my goals. Also I want to ask her she can recommend someone who is trained in CBT (as that is route that I think I want to go). I think that if these discussions go well I might ask her to stay on as her patient (maybe once a month of so) only to deal with the medication issues.

**Of course I took most of the above from ThatLady's post (thanks again)**

Of course this is all in my head of what I want to say so I am just hoping that I can bring it up and it all goes well. I am so scared of her reaction. I know that I shouldn't be scared about her but that is just what I feel.

Nancy

 

[foghlaim]

best wishes Nancy,, we all have faith in you so go for it ok. and like i said before at the risk of repeating myself. yuor therapist is there for you, and i'm sure she won't have any prob with you defining what YOU need to move forward. She will probably be delighted to see that you have set goals for yourself and hopefully will be able to do as you want\need.

as always , thinking of you
nsa