Have You Been the Victim of Narcissistic Triangulation?

[Daniel E.]

Have You Been the Victim of Narcissistic Triangulation?

Triangulation is a strategy that is used by many different sorts of people who all have one thing in common: they feel insecure or overwhelmed and are willing to manipulate other people in hurtful ways to get more attention, sabotage a competitor, or feel safe in a relationship.

 

[Daniel E.]

The Narcissistic Family Portrait

The most common type of communication in narcissistic families is through triangulation. This is where information is told through one party about another in hopes it will get back to the other party. Information is not direct. Family members talk about each other to other members of the family, but don't confront the individuals directly. Alas, causing the creation of passive-aggressive behavior, tension, and mistrust among family members. When communication is direct, it is often in the form of anger or rage.

 

[Daniel E.]

Triangulation: The Narcissist’s Best Play

People who triangulate see people as objects that are only meant to be reflections or extensions of themselves, to serve them when they need to protect their ego. Triangulation is a common tactic used by people with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits. It is easy to pull off, it costs little, and it gets the job done.

You can recognize triangulation by recognizing its forms. If a parent refuses to acknowledge their children’s real personality and individualism, and their siblings are treated vastly different and are discouraged from communicating with one another except through the parent, then this is triangulation. If your current or former romantic partner or friend uses another to create hostility, drama, or to coerce you into things and feelings you wouldn’t otherwise do or feel, then this is triangulation. If someone brings you into their romantic relationship or friendship, but refuses to directly confront the person that they have an issue with, then this is triangulation.

Healthy communication is about openness and authenticity, and resolving conflicts rather than creating them. And the most effective way of dealing with these situations is to take a step back and objectively evaluate what is really happening, and then acting accordingly.