I'm a bit weird...

[Celebrian]

Hey

I'm the kind of person who prefers to watch from a distance and not get noticed. I have no friends nor desire to have any. I avoid social contacts as much as possible. I avoid emotions. I don't really enjoy life... I spend most of it wanting to die. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it myself, so my only hope is for an accident to happen. I've been feeling that way for about 15 years. Just waiting to die.

 

[Retired]

Welcome Celebrian,

Do you hope for these feelings to change and for your life to take on a different direction? Would you like for things to change?

 

[Celebrian]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

the pain you are feeling WILL go away.

I don't agree. I've been feeling depressed and been thinking about death every day for the past 15 years. It DOES NOT go away.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Welcome. I hope you will consider getting help.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

I don't agree. I've been feeling depressed and been thinking about death every day for the past 15 years. It DOES NOT go away.

What have you been doing in those 15 years to try to stop thinking about suicide or to try to start thinking more about living rather than dying?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

She did say it may take time. Sometimes a long time, sometimes decades. Really. Have you tried getting any help for these feelings?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I've been feeling that way for about 15 years. Just waiting to die.

What if anything have you been doing to try to change the way you approach life?

 

[Celebrian]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

Not much. I'm not confortable with people and I don't like talking about myself.

 

[Celebrian]

I don't believe there's anything I can do. Tried talking to a social worker, but I just couldn't talk about myself, so it didn't work. Anyway, if I did try to talk about how I feel, they'd probably put me in a psych ward.

 

[Marcel]

Tried talking to a social worker, but I just couldn't talk about myself, so it didn't work.

Did you just go the one time? Sometimes it takes awhile for a person to get comfortable talking. Also, sometimes the match isn't right and you have to try a few different therapists until you find one that you even want to try to get comfortable talking with. Fifteen years is an incredibly long time to have to suffer - I would hate to think of you having to endure fifteen more the same. Would you consider trying a different social worker, or going back again to the one you already saw?

 

[Yuray]

Hi celebrian
Social workers are not versed in psychological diagnosis. They can identify that there may be a problem with some aspect of your life, and the best they could do is recommend a therapist, who has spent years in training to assist people like you, and most of us in here.

Wanting to die goes hand in hand with depression.
read what others like you say on wanting to die, or rather, not wanting to live Do you sometimes just want to die?

follow the link to psychologists near Rimouski
Find Local Psychologists in Rimouski QC | YellowPages.ca?

I know I have suggested some links to follow, but because with the limited knowledge of how you are feeling/coping, theres little more that can be said or done, other than 'hang in there kiddo', and when you feel like sharing more, we've got lots of feedback, and, some tough questions at times

 

[Yuray]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

Why are you here? Do you want some people to identify with you and share stories, or just talk for a bit?

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

HEy Celebrian i know how it feels to have these suicdal thoughts constantly and for a long time. Uness you go for help it is hard to stop them.
I hate to see you suffering so when you can get help to stop the thoughts.
It took me a long time to ask for help but i am glad i did finally.
What is stopping you really are you not tired of living this way.
Trust is a hard thing to do but you need to reach out okay to your doctor your regular one can prescribe meds to help take away these thoughts.
You don't have to go to a specialist really.
My GP has ordered me meds and although i still get some thoughts it is not constant.
You reached out here right that took some courage
I hope you can reach out again and get help to finally give you mind some rest .
Please don't suffer any longer okay not when there is help for you hugs.

 

[Celebrian]

I just can't talk to people about myself. I just hate people knowing stuff about me.

 

[Retired]

I just can't talk to people about myself. I just hate people knowing stuff about me

We understand that, Celebrian; the question still remains, do you want to continue this way or would you like these feelings to change?

 

[Celebrian]

I don't know anymore. I gave it a try once. Didn't go so well. I lost it, emotionnaly, and I don't want that to happen again. I hate emotions. I don't think I'm gonna try again. So I guess I am gonna continue this way.

 

[Retired]

You have taken the first step by coming here for information and support. There is no need to continue feeling the way you do, because there is help available, but you need to get the right kind of help.

Please re-read Yuray's post HERE where he replied to you earlier and explained about gettting the right kind of help.

Do you have a family doctor at this time?

 

[Celebrian]

Nope

 

[Jesse910]

Re: What To Do When Feeling Suicidal

Celebrian:

I was struck by the length of time that you have remained depressed. For many years, I found it impossible to trust and/or talk to anyone about what I was thinking or feeling. I was afraid of allowing anyone in. Finally, my emotions turned in upon me and I was forced to make a decision - trust or perish. It did not occur over night and trust came in stages. Sometimes, I trusted the stranger whom I would never ever meet again because that got me through. Other times, it was the crisis counselor on the telephone. Other times, I wrote out my thoughts until I could not write anymore. After a while, I tried a clergyman, a shrink or two, my family practice doctor. I was always too skittish to stick around for long. Finally, I just got tired of being afraid and with some encouragements of friends, I found the right arena for me in which I could finally feel safe enough to reveal my pain and work my way back to wholeness.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to reach outside of yourself and ask for help. It took a lot of courage for you to come here. I have been coming to this website for well over 5 years now. I come to seek wisdom, help, encouragement, and acceptance. I hope in time, you will find solace here. Welcome.

 

[Retired]

Then your first step should be to arrange to be seen by a general practitioner at a community clinic or to make an appointment with a family doctor accepting new patients. Another option would be to visit your local CLSC and if the CLSC in your area has medical services you could be seen by a doctor there. If you are at university, there may be a student health service, where you can be seen by a doctor and student health services often provide mental health services.

Ask for a general check up, and tell the doctor you've been having difficulty with mood and have had suicidal thoughts. Ask to be referred to a psychiatrist who specializes in mood disoders so you can begin receiving treatment.

Depression is a medical illness that is treatable when diagnosed by a physician, and not a social worker. As has been said, social workers are not trained to treat mood disorders.

Depression is an illness thought ot be caused by an imbalance of importan brain chemicals that affect mood. There are medications that restore the chemical imbalance that can relieve the symptoms you are experiencing, but you need to see a doctor who can help you.

Do you have a trusted friend or family member who might accompany you when you see a doctor?