Its been so many years now since the last time I saw my friends. Once in a while we texted each other. I don't even remember when was the last time I saw my friends. But even though their no longer part of my daily routine (i mean chatting each other everyday) I would say I'm still happy with my life.
- Thread starter solitary man
- Start date
solitary man
Member
I was watching "Smallville" the other night, and one of the characters had a line that really hit home for me.
"You can never be who you want to be, if you're always looking over shoulder at what could have been."
"You can never be who you want to be, if you're always looking over shoulder at what could have been."
Solitary man,
What you're going through is called grief and loss. You're suffering the same sadness and sense of loss that all grieving individuals go through. You cannot sacrifice your growth fro anyone else. Whenever an alcoholic gets sober she has to find new friends. It's true with any of life's changes. Be proud of what you're doing for yourself. Your buddy is watching. There's nothing you're doing that he can't do for himself.
What you're going through is called grief and loss. You're suffering the same sadness and sense of loss that all grieving individuals go through. You cannot sacrifice your growth fro anyone else. Whenever an alcoholic gets sober she has to find new friends. It's true with any of life's changes. Be proud of what you're doing for yourself. Your buddy is watching. There's nothing you're doing that he can't do for himself.
solitary man
Member
Thanks for that Dr. Moe.
I know in the past I was feeling guilty for grieving over the loss my friendship.
So instead of acknowledging the way I felt, I blamed myself for the way things turned out.
Plus it didn't help that I brought the situation into my sessions with my shrink, which he called me on a few times.
I know in the past I was feeling guilty for grieving over the loss my friendship.
So instead of acknowledging the way I felt, I blamed myself for the way things turned out.
Plus it didn't help that I brought the situation into my sessions with my shrink, which he called me on a few times.
Hi solitary man. It has been awhile since I was in, but I had to check up on your posting to see how you were doing. I do understand the grief of losing friends, but, I also understand that you are doing what is right for you. I am glad to know that you are accepting of the loss, but I know it isn't easy.
I had to do the very same thing, and I have several friends that I keep at bay simply because they choose not to accept me as I am now. Given what I have been through, I think I am doing very good, and I plan on keeping it that way.
So, good for you and take care of you. This forum is always here to offer that support that we all need sometimes. I am thinking of you!
I had to do the very same thing, and I have several friends that I keep at bay simply because they choose not to accept me as I am now. Given what I have been through, I think I am doing very good, and I plan on keeping it that way.
So, good for you and take care of you. This forum is always here to offer that support that we all need sometimes. I am thinking of you!
solitary man
Member
Hello Auburn,
Life is really good...no make that GREAT!
With the help of my new psychotherapist, and I guess time, I'm pretty much over the loss of my friendship.
Yes, I still have the occasional ghost feeling, but it no longer holds the power it once had.
I don't know, maybe after I turned 40 last month, and the fact that I'm surrounding myself with people of better character, I feel so much better about myself.
To be honest, I wish my ex-friend no ill will.
I've even run into several of his friends in passing, and always ask if he's still grumpy.
They usually don't give a response, but none is really needed as the look on their faces reveals all.
I know a part of me would still like to be friends again, if the situation ever presented itself, but I'm no longer spending my time hoping for it.
I wish him nothing but the best for the future, and I truly hope one day he finds the courage to change his life.
Life is really good...no make that GREAT!
With the help of my new psychotherapist, and I guess time, I'm pretty much over the loss of my friendship.
Yes, I still have the occasional ghost feeling, but it no longer holds the power it once had.
I don't know, maybe after I turned 40 last month, and the fact that I'm surrounding myself with people of better character, I feel so much better about myself.
To be honest, I wish my ex-friend no ill will.
I've even run into several of his friends in passing, and always ask if he's still grumpy.
They usually don't give a response, but none is really needed as the look on their faces reveals all.
I know a part of me would still like to be friends again, if the situation ever presented itself, but I'm no longer spending my time hoping for it.
I wish him nothing but the best for the future, and I truly hope one day he finds the courage to change his life.
forgetmenot
MVP
I am glad you have a new T solitary man and that you are able to move pass the loss of your friend. New friends new outlook good for you
Replying is not possible. This forum is only available as an archive.
