Hi Fancy ... I know it's been a few months since the last post in here, but I just wanted to say how much I hope that this guy is leaving you alone now.
I left an alcoholic (commonlaw union, we were to be married) beginning of February because he continued to allow ithe booze to rule him, and therefore, me and my life and days, and so much more too. They don't stop until they're ready, and not one minute sooner. Life is way better on my own in charge of my life and decisions again, and I now have control over the monthly bills and the rent and all are paid on time ... so no chronic anxiety about evictions and such. (scarey)
Anyways, the good news is that expartner passed out/fainted/blacked out a couple of times recently which scared him deeply, and skipping over lots of details, end result, he's currently in a recovery program and very into it. He's "living there" for this part, and may be going home in a couple of weeks to face sobriety and temptations. I have high hopes, and no, I would never return to shared life with him. He's been drinking long and hard. Sad to say and in retrospect, I've never known him "sober" ... gee, I wonder what he's like unfogged and responsible? His "habit" started daily with wake-up hard liquor and continued throughout the day til sleep time FOR YEARS I LEARNED ... even to sneaking vodka in water at his desk at work, and liquid lunches. He's fortunate he's "union" and gets many work benefits as well ... including coverage for a recovery treatment program!!! Corporations do have their perks in the benefits, for sure.
I'm happy he's begun recovery ... and even have hopes he'll succeed but expect to hear about many bumps and falls ...
For him to continue succeeding at sobriety, I figure he would have to do a major lifestyle, attitudes and behaviors overhauls and changes because giving up the booze is only one part of the equation ... the other parts of the equation are the "reasons aka justifications" for drinking I figure. I don't see the reasons being gone for a long time yet. Its how he's always "coped" with life and people.
My hope comes from knowing people can and do change majorly and it happens all the time. I hope it happens for my ex. That would be nice. I couldn't stay and wait for it to happen while my life was being trashed in the waiting and the environment he created.
Get thee behind me and lets just be friends is about all I can and am willing to do from this point on. Sometimes get thee behind me is the only answer ... and it sounds like your guy may be one of those. I hope all is well for you in your situation with him.
K.
I left an alcoholic (commonlaw union, we were to be married) beginning of February because he continued to allow ithe booze to rule him, and therefore, me and my life and days, and so much more too. They don't stop until they're ready, and not one minute sooner. Life is way better on my own in charge of my life and decisions again, and I now have control over the monthly bills and the rent and all are paid on time ... so no chronic anxiety about evictions and such. (scarey)
Anyways, the good news is that expartner passed out/fainted/blacked out a couple of times recently which scared him deeply, and skipping over lots of details, end result, he's currently in a recovery program and very into it. He's "living there" for this part, and may be going home in a couple of weeks to face sobriety and temptations. I have high hopes, and no, I would never return to shared life with him. He's been drinking long and hard. Sad to say and in retrospect, I've never known him "sober" ... gee, I wonder what he's like unfogged and responsible? His "habit" started daily with wake-up hard liquor and continued throughout the day til sleep time FOR YEARS I LEARNED ... even to sneaking vodka in water at his desk at work, and liquid lunches. He's fortunate he's "union" and gets many work benefits as well ... including coverage for a recovery treatment program!!! Corporations do have their perks in the benefits, for sure.
I'm happy he's begun recovery ... and even have hopes he'll succeed but expect to hear about many bumps and falls ...
For him to continue succeeding at sobriety, I figure he would have to do a major lifestyle, attitudes and behaviors overhauls and changes because giving up the booze is only one part of the equation ... the other parts of the equation are the "reasons aka justifications" for drinking I figure. I don't see the reasons being gone for a long time yet. Its how he's always "coped" with life and people.
My hope comes from knowing people can and do change majorly and it happens all the time. I hope it happens for my ex. That would be nice. I couldn't stay and wait for it to happen while my life was being trashed in the waiting and the environment he created.
Get thee behind me and lets just be friends is about all I can and am willing to do from this point on. Sometimes get thee behind me is the only answer ... and it sounds like your guy may be one of those. I hope all is well for you in your situation with him.
K.
