Needing to get rid of something

[Cat Dancer]

I haven't been hurting myself. I have been just dealing with all the hard emotions in other ways, some healthy, some not so healthy, but lately I've been feeling this overwhelming urge to hurt myself to get rid of something. Not pain, but something bad, something dirty, something disgusting inside me. It's kind of weird. I've felt this way a lot before, but I just went with it and now I'm trying to be more analytical and examine where these feelings are coming from. So I'm wondering what would make me think this? That there's something in me so bad that I have to hurt myself to get rid of it?

 

[ladylore]

It's been my experience that examining it can make the obsession/urge worse. If you do need to do this, wait for your therapy appointment and o it then.

You aren't a bad person at all and I am sure in your heart of hearts you know this.

Bake some cookies, put some music on, dance.....anything to help distract you a bit. The more you can pull your mind away from those urges, the weaker the pull they will have on you.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Yeah, that's probably the best. I'll just try to write it down and deal with it in therapy later. Distracting is definitely better and more productive than thinking about it a lot.

 

[NicNak]

Yeah, that's probably the best. I'll just try to write it down and deal with it in therapy later. Distracting is definitely better and more productive than thinking about it a lot.

This is a great idea.

Sometimes thinking about it alot, can almost fuel the obsessive cycle of thinking.

Ladylore had a great idea to bake some cookies! Yummm! And listen to music and dance! Sounds like fun! Make sure you enjoy some of those baked cookies too!

Is there any way you can pamper yourself a bit Cat Dancer? Maybe have a nice bubble bath, treat yourself to your favorite magazine or pamper your feet etc (not sure about nail polish though, while pregnant. Best to check first with your doctor)

I sometimes find these things relaxing and helpful to distract myself.

:support: Take care Cat Dancer.

 

[Into The Light]

why not work on a hobby you have? do you think you could get yourself to do that?

 

[Meg]

I just wanted to add a big congratulations on not just giving into the urge, CD :hug: :hug:

 

[texasgirl]

Me, too, Cat Dancer. I am so glad that you took the steps you did.

Take care,

TG :hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

I've been thinking about this. I think I'm not harming myself because I want to please my therapist. I want him to be proud of me. I think that might be a wrong reason.

All this awful pressure is building to just do it. I keep thinking it would make everything ok. I know that isn't rational or true, but I just want to make things ok somehow.

I don't know. I can rationally understand things, but then my feelings get in the way and I get so confused.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It's not "a wrong reason". Anything that helps you avoid unhealthy self-destructive behaviors and encourages healthier behaviors is a good reason.

If you can't do it for yourself right now, doing it for someone else for the time being is just fine.

 

[Always Changing]

Maybe you could try to write it out, everything and anything to do with how you are feeling, then put the page\s into a box and either burn or throw it in the trash, either way you could visualise it being gone. and then replace it with another feeling of contentment or something similar?