Question about therapist behavior

[texasgirl]

Hello everyone - I know I haven't posted for a long while and I hope everyone is doing ok. I am doing well and working on improving as much as I can. I have a question that I would like some feedback on regarding my therapist's behavior.

He specializes in treating people with psychotic disorders and to date (I have been seeing him for several months approx. 1x per week) I have essentially been ok with him and thought he had my best interests at heart. For the past few weeks, however, he has become increasingly more "personal" in his remarks to me (i.e. you are so beautiful; you look great today; I love that coat). The last session (on Saturday) he asked to take a picture of me for his phone. I didn't know what to say so I let him take one but I am getting increasingly more uneasy and strange "vibes" about his intentions. I am too scared to talk to him about it though because what if he is weird? My husband said that I should terminate therapy with him which is what I am considering but there are very few therapists around here on my insurance plan. But I am now not trusting him. Do yall think I am being overly concerned?

TG

 

[Into The Light]

no, you aren't being overly concerned. that has red flags coming up for me. i agree with your husband, this doesn't feel right or safe.

 

[Andy]

I agree, I don't think this therapist is being appropriate at all. I suppose if he is the only therapist around, you could express your concerns to him and see how he reacts and then go from there. That still might make things awkward though and I don't know your therapist obviously but it could bruise his ego and make your sessions bad.

Eeek. Good luck.

 

[Jazzey]

Not even a little bit TG!!! A picture??? Get a grip! there's nothing normal about that.

In any event, even if I found his behaviour 'normal' the reality is that you no longer trust him - nothing good will come of this.

From an objective perspective, I also find his behaviour to be a breach of ethics on a few levels. But again, the biggest point to this is that you no longer trust him...That, in and of itself, is enough for you to find someone else.

Honestly TG, I cannot begin to tell you about the heebejeebies I had just reading your post tonight. :hug::hug: I really hope you're ok.

PS: It's so nice to see you again TG...Sorry, I got swept away by your question. :hug::hug::friends:

 

[texasgirl]

Thank yall for your comments. What is really weird about this is that I have been working with him for the past few weeks on what happened to me when my psychiatrist from years ago when I was inpatient raped me. I was very upfront about all the things this previous doctor had said to me about what he was really thinking about when I was in session with him (all said while he was raping me) and how much utter confusion and fear I had not only about the rape but also about being able to trust any therapist ever again. And now this with this guy (although he has made very personal comments to me prior to our working on this issue). It feels as though it's happening all over again, especially with the picture thing. To tell the truth, I am now scared of him. But then I think to myself "you are just being paranoid". But I swear I am telling the whole truth and I don't think I am being paranoid. I am sad, feel betrayed, and am worried that he is not to be trusted at all. I think I am just going to call him and tell him that I want to take a break and that I will call him when and if I need to come back. Do you think that is chicken of me?

TG

 

[David Baxter PhD]

In view of your concerns about the shortage of therapists, how would you feel about this, TG? Suppose the next time he makes any sort of personal comment, you simply, say, "I'd rather you didn't make remarks like that. They make me uncomfortable".

That's a way of setting out your boundaries pretty clearly. If he responds negatively to that, or ignores it, find another therapist.

 

[Jazzey]

You are not just "being paranoid". TG, I'm so sorry this happened to you, that you again feel betrayed, distrustful. And you deal with this situation with whatever method you feel comfortable with. There's nothing chicken about it....I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

For now, if you can, tell him that you're ceasing therapy. I do however hope that you'll seek someone else TG...:hug::hug:

Again, I'm so sorry you were put in a spot that was again not safe for you. Ugh.

Addendum: Sorry TG, I guess I just focused on some part of your post and just plain reacted. I do hope you can find someone else. :support:

 

[texasgirl]

I thought about doing just that. At the same time, I am scared to say anything (which is one thing we are working on anyway which is my inability to say no and that I freeze in similar situations). I couldn't even bring myself to ask him why he wanted my picture even though I clearly looked uncomfortable with his request (I was slow to get up since he asked me to stand). Maybe this is an opportunity for me to test my own ability to set boundaries. You have given me food for thought...

 

[forgetmenot]

Definitely not right not appropriate I think you need to just tell this therapist his comments and his actions are making you uncomfortable as they are crossing a ethnical line I am also sorry you are being put in this position. If you can change doctors do it if not just tell him how it is no more pictures no more personal comments. take care TG

 

[Mari]

I am doing well and working on improving as much as I can.

That is so good to hear and so nice to hear from you. I agree with everything Jazzey has said and this does make me worried for you. I am not very good at setting boundaries myself but I am not sure that this therapist is the best person to be working on testing boundaries with. It sounds like your therapist has crossed a professional boundary. I do think you should be concerned and I hope you can find someone else to work with. :hug: Mari

 

[Jackie]

This doesn't sound right to me. I find him wanting a picture for his phone very disturbing, not what I would expect from a therapist. I agree with Mr Baxter, confront him and see how he reacts and take it from there. Maybe take your husband with you for support. Take care now.

 

[texasgirl]

I thank you all for your kind support. I have decided to call him and tell him that I want to take a break from therapy for a while. I just don't think that I trust him; for whatever reasons he feels entirely comfortable airing his personal comments to me knowing full well my background. I am not a therapist and yes I can be paranoid. So be it. But if therapy ceases to be therapy and becomes a place where I am scared to go, then it has lost its therapeutic value. And maybe a break it what I need to sort this through. I will keep yall posted and take care. I do think of you all the time.

TG :support:

 

[Jazzey]

:dance:

TG, you were in my thoughts all day today. I have this belief, rightly or wrongly (haven't figured that part out yet) to just trust your instincts. If I had followed my instincts in the past, I would have been safeguarded from some horrendous experiences. I'm proud of you. What you did took a lot of inner strength and fortitude. Again, I'm proud of you TG. And tonight, I'm celebrating your strength. :hug::heart:

 

[seeker]

Hi Texasgirl,
I think you did the right thing. From your description of what happened, this therapist crossed the professional boundary by asking for your photograph, etc. It sounds like your instinct kicked in and alerted you that something wasn't quite right. Therapy needs to be a safe, comfortable place otherwise it really is counterproductive to your goals.
Good for you for trusting yourself, and doing what is right for you. Congratulations on that.