Scared and confused

[Ashley-Kate]

On wednesday i am going to an appointment because my psychologist recently transfered me to a clinic that specializes in BPD, I am currently confused and don't really know what to think about it at the moment i have been down this path once before but only to have the diagnosis changed because of the lack of certain elements and also having PTSD and an eating disorder with OCD well, the doctors found that the BDP symptoms i had were probably do to other disorders rather than BPD. in any case i am going to have an assessment. I am worried because while i am going there i am also losing my current therapist, my family doctor has also came to the conclusion that he is unable to help me. I feel like i can't be helped. I feel abandoned I don't see the point anymore. I don't know how i am going to put one foot in front of the other anymore. Its simply too hard. I don't know what to think of this new possible diagnosis. I dont know if it's going to help me or if it's going to makes things even more complicated. I don't know if i want to go through it all,go through the loss of my therapist as well as my family doctor. I dont know how much energie i have left to invest.

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: scared confused

Ashley-Kate It is good to hear from you again. I know your afraid hun but maybe this is a good thing that is happening The new clinic will also be able to assess you and may find a new way to help you so there is hope there. Your doctor i did not think it was ethical just to drop a patient did he refer you to anther GP general physician.
Your therapist as well hun is there a referral at the new clinic then to see a new therapist. No one is giving up on you Ashley they are trying to get you the correct help so this clinic although stressful may be the best thing that happens for you hugs

 

[MelissaK9174]

That all sounds so frustrating I'm sorry you're going through this. Try to remind yourself that just because he couldn't help you doesn't necessarily mean he abandoned you or that you're un-helpable. It very well may been his own general incompetence. If he's unable to give you the help you need then you're better off finding someone more qualified.

Try to think positive. You may find someone next who knows exactly how to help you and this may wind up being a blessing.

I've had situations like that. I was devistated by a local hip doc who said I was too fat to give me a hip replacement and I was terrified I might hear that from every doc I would see. I was devistated but the next doc I found was the one who helped me through it all.

I know it's reeeeally hard but try to be positive and have faith please let us know what winds up happening.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

my doctor has not refered me to a new GP he is basically counting on the new clinic that is a hospital to take care of me. I am afraid because although i realise my doctor is limited in his knowledge of eating disorders he is really good at what he does and i probably wont find a doctor that is good with eating disorders anyway. and the new place well other than a pscyhiatrist i won't have GP there. i am tryign to wait till it all passes but i am stressed out i am scared and i dont know what they are going to say or do with me

 

[forgetmenot]

Can you call your GP and let him know you do not want a new GP and would prefer to stay with him as you are more comfortable with him and his knowledge on your eating disorder

 

[Banned]

Ashley if your doctor does not feel equipped to help you in the best way possible he is doing the ethical thing by referring you on, because his inability to help you could do you harm. I know this is a scary time and it is hard trying to trust in someone else but try to remain hopeful that the doctors there will be best positioned to help you.

 

[heatherly]

your doctor feels like he can't help you because he lacks the means; this doesn't mean that you can't be helped. i overheard my own doctor saying to another doctor, "she is a hard case to crack." after 12 years i cracked the case myself. i began practicing positive thinking and thought myself out of a deep depression that none of the dr. that i ever saw could do.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

I had my appointment yesterday and well at the moment i am still struggling to wrap my head around everything that he said.. i don't remember his name i think i left too frustrated to think of what his name was. after explaining my situation the abuse i lived he said and i quote.. after i had said that i was "****ed up" he said yeah in every sense of the term after reading about my history and hearing my story. he then mentioned that i am being unfaithful towards my boyfriend because of the abuse i am living he didn't say abuse he basically said that i was in a relationship with my abuser right now and that it was consensual.. in any case at the moment i am out of it i have been in bed since that appointment confused crying and feeling simply like a disgust my psychologist has been trying to convince me that its not my fault and then well the new guy says the opposite i don't know what to believe and i am extremely emotional since. i don't know what to believe or what to do with this..

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Really? The "new guy" sounds like an insensitive (and ignorant and ill-informed) jerk. What and who is he?

 

[Cat Dancer]

Abuse is never the victim's fault. You can't be in a "relationship" with your abuser because there is an unequal distribution of power.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Abuse is never the victim's fault. You can't be in a "relationship" with your abuser because there is an unequal distribution of power.

Exactly.

 

[forgetmenot]

WHAT THE HELL i don't understand why he would say such a thing to you I hope you go back and get him to clarify what the hell he meant by that statement
Cat Dancer says it how it is hun you are never to be blamed here never

 

[Ashley-Kate]

he's a psychiatrist at the royal victoria hospital i think they told me his name he was the one that did my assesment but i dont remember his name i was going to call tomorrow to know his name if possible but otherwise i dont know anything i am pretty much confused.. i dont know what to think or if i am the crazy one in it all. i dont know what to believe i dont know anything

---------- Post Merged at 11:24 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 11:20 PM ----------

he was pretty cear when he said it he seemed even entertained he smiled he even almost laughed. has a very cocky attitude, basically i dont know what to think i am a mess

 

[rdw]

Ashley is there someone who can go with you to these appointments? This is not right

 

[Ashley-Kate]

i went with a friend yesterday i was alone in the appointment but i was accompanied and well i just i dont know

 

[David Baxter PhD]

No it isn't right. Not even close to being right. That psychiatrist should be reported to the Coll?ge des m?decins du Qu?bec - Porter plainte. He is a disgrace to the profession.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

the thing is i don't have the energy to go through with it, i wrote to my psychologist or the one i used to have i see him next week for the last time. I am dealing with losing that therapy and well going to this new place with this new guy and well i simply well i am exhausted and its harder to fight it than just go with it just comply and shut up. i am even to a point trying to convince myself that i am the one that screwed up and messed up i don't know what to think i already felt unsure about everything about my past and now i have this guy confirming my worst thoughts.. i feel pathetic i feel stupid. i am a mess

 

[David Baxter PhD]

But that is my point, Ashley. I'm not asking you to file a complaint, although you certainly could. If you don't have the energy to file a complaint, that's perfectly understandable. You have enough other things going on your life right now...

But the first step is to understand that what he said isn't true and is totally unprofessional. If anybody should be feeling pathetic and stupid, it is that "doctor" who doesn't even deserve the right to use that title.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

I realise that, but at the same i can't help but question if he said that and with the title he does have how can i deny that possibility maybe i am the one being stupid. I am unable to just brush his off like it is some simple thing a doctor should not have said. i spent the day hoping that my psychologist would call me back telling me that it was not tru that i am not responsible i felt the huge need for that dr. to call me back and say the same but the thing is he didn<t he said it straight out to me he said it with a tone almost as if he was proud to say it he broe me in that moment those words i cant get them out of my head i am trying i am realy trying but i cant i feel pathetic i just i simply hate myself for telling him for having said that and that beeing the response the judgment that came with it ..

 

[forgetmenot]

Ashley dam it he was playing mind games sick yes very sick one YOU are not to blame for anything ok and i agree he should be reported but understand that you just need to look after YOU right now. I am glad you see your old therapist again soon perhaps tell your therapist what was said and ask that he keeps you on until you can get someone new ok Never let anyone anyone make you believe it was your fault hun YOU had no power ok no power I wish i was there with you hun i would go right back into his office and just let him have it dam him there will always be ones in any profession Ashley that do not belong there HE does not belong in the position he holds