Why Can't I Stop?

[Always Changing]

My plan is to mostly journal my feelings out when I get the urge.

Have you done this yet today?

I can do this.

Yes you can!!.

Recovery Literature in English (US)
Maybe you can get some support and tips on coping from the website of N.A. I see a lot of information booklets listed there, maybe you can download one or two and see what you think of them.

 

[boi]

darn, I messed up my posting.
LIT,
I understand you do not want to go to NA or AA for marijuana dependency. I think in general we underestimate the power of weed and the effects of it on individuals. It is just from my experience that I think heroin was easier to quit than pot others may differ and I possibly am over simplifying, addiction is addiction. That is really great that you have not smoked today. The first week is torture and then is gets WAY better. My motivation to quit was the fact that I knew I had to deal with my feelings around many many things. My feelings have been buried for years and I didn't deal with them (maybe that's why I transferred my addiction to various things). I want to be ok with myself and I knew smoking pot everyday was not going to allow me to accomplish my personal goals for the only reason that I was smoking pot everyday. I really know how hard it is. You can do it!!!!!

 

[GDPR]

I have made it through the day so far without smoking. I have a migraine and feel like sh*t.

I did sit and think about smoking some. I started thinking that I could just hide and do it, and nobody would know. And then my husband would think I really quit this time( I have been saying I'm quitting every day).

But then I thought about how I really want to quit, for real, and what good would it do to pretend like I have?

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Good for you LIT!!

 

[GDPR]

I couldn't sleep last night. I had so much freakin anxiety.

But, I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. I believe it's do-able. It's not gonna be as hard as I had believed.

 

[Always Changing]

well done on getting through the night, another day done and dusted!.

I believe it's do-able.

:2thumbs:

 

[GDPR]

I made it through another day. Yay for me.

But, not being high all the time makes me remember why I stayed that way for so long. Actually feeling is hard. Remembering is hard. Not being able to numb myself when I have flashbacks is hard. Everything is hard.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Yeah, when you aren't used to doing those things, it's tough. Some people manage to bury their feelings and distract themselves in other ways so they still don't deal with their feelings. Then something triggers an emotion and they're totally discombobulated.

Like we were saying, maybe think about asking your physician or a psychiatrist about what meds you should consider taking. You start off slowly, so your body can get used to them, and gradually take more... It can take a few weeks to actually kick in properly, but you've already taken the big first step by quitting weed so at least you won't have any nasty effects interacting from that if you start taking prescribed meds...

You don't have to fight feeling awful, especially when you are dealing with flashbacks. It's not a weakness to take something to help you get through, it's actually quite intelligent to be concerned enough about one's wellbeing to take care of one's quality of life. Otherwise the stress and/or depression is going to wear you out completely.

If I know you a little bit, it sounds like you want to try your darnedest anyway, but try not to wait too long. It already takes a while for prescription anti-anxiety/depressants to kick in and work properly, so the longer you wait the longer you're going to feel a bit tortured... 8(

You don't have to do this all on your own, either, remember you've got like-minded folks in AA or NA. And in here, too, of course, but I meant real-live, flesh-and-blood, someone you could meet eye-to-eye or talk with over the phone. Someone who knows what your going through. Some of them have used other substances like alcohol to do the same thing you were doing.

In the meantime, congratulations! *cheers*

 

[Always Changing]

not being high all the time makes me remember why I stayed that way for so long.

but, it hasn't really been 'real'.

which is why you are doing this. To be real,more productive etc, part of that is being alive and feeling. Yes it is very hard.. but!! You ARE getting there. and thats just Awesome!!

Reminder: Are you remember to document\journal this part of your Journey to wellness.?

So proud of you :hug:

 

[GDPR]

Yes, I have been writing down how I feel and what I'm thinking in my journal.

I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.

 

[Daniel E.]

Yes, I have been writing down how I feel and what I'm thinking in my journal.

I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.

BTW, from an article Dr. Baxter posted in 2007. It's kindof newage-y but interesting (a different twist on typical advice):

In Ayurvedic medicine (used for centuries in India), there are three mind-body types -- Air, Fire, and Earth, explains Emmons. Each is based on your body type -- whether you're a thin, wiry type, or strong and muscular, or a bit on the hefty side. Other patterns -- whether you tolerate hot weather, have straight or curly hair, get constipated easily or not, sleep easily or not -- are all factored into your Ayurvedic type.

Air types like Rachel are most prone to anxious depression, he says. Fire types align with agitated depression, and Earth types are likely to have sluggish depression.

"Someone like Rachel, who is thin by nature, has an active, restless mind," Emmons explains. "She needs to do things that will calm her nervous system -- aerobic exercise that is light but repetitive like walking, easy jogging, bicycling. Being out in nature is especially helpful for Air types, because it is grounding. Moving the body in a repetitive fashion, as opposed to competitive activity, elevates serotonin levels. It's a potent treatment."

Also, Rachel needs to develop structure in her daily life -- a more predictable eating pattern and regular exercise. A regular sleep schedule helps keep the body's hormones regulated, an important factor in fighting depression. "With depression, the body has failed to correct itself when under stress, so all mechanisms are disrupted," Emmons explains.

Rachel should also add warmth wherever possible -- with soothing foods and drinks, hot baths, and massages. She also can benefit from "conscious breathing" -- a slow and regulated breathing practice. "It involves bringing attention to the breath," he explains. "Count to four as you breathe in slowly, count to two while you pause, then count to seven while you breathe out even more slowly. Even five minutes of this can be calming."

Fire types generally need cooling, calming foods and activities, he adds. Earth types need stimulating foods and activities to keep them motivated.

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/therapy-...-mind-body-spirit-guide-to-psychotherapy.html

 

[GDPR]

Thanks. That IS interesting. And I like newage-y stuff.

 

[Daniel E.]

I like newage-y stuff, too, sometimes just for a change of pace, e.g. HayHouseRadio.

Anyway, a fun fact:

Understanding the biological basis of pleasure...calls for a reformation in our concepts of such virtuous and prosocial behaviors as sharing resources, self-deprivation, and the drive for knowledge. Crucially, brain imaging studies show that giving to charity, paying taxes, and receiving information about future events all activate the same neural pleasure circuit that's engaged by heroin or orgasm or fatty foods. Perhaps, most important, analysis of the molecular basis of enduring changes in the brain's pleasure circuitry holds great promise for developing drugs and other therapies to help people break free of addictions of many sorts, to both substances and experiences.

http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good

As mentioned in that radio interview, though, no one gets addicted to donating to charity.

 

[GDPR]

Hmmm...giving to charity, yes, but paying taxes....not so sure about that one, not property taxes anyway(ha).

Maybe I should do some volunteer work again. I think I felt best when I volunteered at a soup kitchen/homeless shelter. It made me feel good to help others and it made me feel fortunate and grateful for what I have. It just made me feel like I had a purpose.

BTW....love HayHouseRadio

 

[Daniel E.]

I guess I'm not missing being high, not the actual buzz part of it. Having a buzz was always nice, but I think what I'm missing most is how it made all the bad thoughts not so bad. How it turned feeling depressed into feeling good, and how it helped me not feel anything other than happy and relaxed.

BTW, as mentioned in the audio of the interview, people who are under stress are more likely to want to seek pleasure to compensate for the stress. But when people get addicted, they go from liking the "high" to wanting the drug just so they don't feel bad. So with addictions, people eventually go from seeking pleasure to mostly just avoiding pain. (The same can be true to some extent of anxiety disorders and depression -- people who are depressed or anxious generally focus less on pleasurable activities and more on avoiding psychological discomfort.)

 

[GDPR]

people who are depressed or anxious generally focus less on pleasurable activities and more on avoiding psychological discomfort.

I think that is so true...at least it is for me.

 

[Daniel E.]

BTW....love HayHouseRadio

My favorite person there is Wayne Dyer, who is apparently the most popular person there. He was a grad student of Maslow.

In one of his call-in radio shows this year, they had a caller addicted to smoking who thought it would be too hard to quit, and Wayne Dyer focused on the Byron Katie approach:

Here are the four questions to help challenge compelling thoughts:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/cognitiv...tions-to-rid-automatic-negative-thoughts.html

 

[GDPR]

It's Friday and I'm struggling a little bit. I think I just need to make a few changes to avoid it though. My work is very accommodating and they allow me to work more hours/days if I want and work less hours/days if needed. So I take every Friday off. I have been doing that for the past 10(?) months.

I haven't been working Fridays because I always start smoking as soon as I wake up in the morning(my 'wake and bake' day) and smoke all day long. I have been doing that because it's the day I pay bills, get groceries, and all the other things that need to get done. It just made all the sucky things I had to do easier, plus took away the anxiety I would have if I didn't smoke.

A simple solution would be to work on Fridays. I can't wake and bake and then go to work. So I know I wouldn't do it.

So now I just need to make it through the day, do all the things I need to do without smoking. This will be kinda strange....and hard.

---------- Post added at 10:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 AM ----------

Sorry if this is starting to sound like a diary or something.

I didn't smoke today and I feel good about it.

But I had an extremely rough time doing normal, everyday things because I haven't done them without being high for so long. I ended up so frustrated and anxious that I cried off and on most of the day.

 

[Always Changing]

I ended up so frustrated and anxious that I cried off and on most of the day.

and still

I didn't smoke today and I feel good about it.

Damn right you feel good, that feeling is so well deserved!! :hug:
Strike up the :band: and do a little :dance2:.

 

[forgetmenot]

You are doing great hun Keep it up okay Try to keep busy occupy your time with things you love to do or use to love to do. Each day is a victory for you be proud of what you are accomplishing hugs