Why?

[David Baxter PhD]

See above. The quick fix is not always the best fix.

 

[AmZ]

What do you suggest Dr Baxter?

Maybe there are other sleep medications that I have not tried?

I think my Imovane days are over. They really do nothing for me nowadays.

I tried that Numbon for maybe 5 days or so but my psychiatrist said that if it hasn't worked within 5 days then don't bother carry on taking it.

Also tried Remeron for 3 weeks but didn't help my sleep at all so my psychiatrist said to stop that too.

At this point, I may as well not be taking anything because nothing I take seems to be doing anything.

I'll be speaking to my psychiatrist about it in the morning amongst the other things.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

No. What I'm suggesting is that you let your doctors follow there best clinical instincts and wait it out. That's one of the benefits of being in the hospital - they don't expect you to go to work in the morning. Maybe what is needed is that you take the time to wean off some of the medications and settle on one or two or three that work.

Be patient and trust in the experience and training of your caregivers. They know what they are doing.

 

[AmZ]

Yes. That's exactly what I want to do. Thx for the advice.

 

[Banned]

Has anyone taught you mindfulness or meditation? It can help slow your brain down enough that you have a chance of sleeping. I rely on Imovane to sleep every night - I have for almost three years, and when I'm calm I can pass out 20 minutes after taking it but when I'm wound up I too can stay up all night thinking.

 

[AmZ]

I've been shown many different breathing techniques with guided imagery etc. I have no problem falling asleep (even without Imovane) but I can only seem to sleep a few hours maximum and I wake up. I feel calm and last night at 1.30am even took another Imovane but I still didn't fall back asleep for the rest of the night.

This is the worst my sleep has been in the last 2 years since this started. I usually manage to sleep until 4am or so.

Will be speaking with my psychiatrist today and will see what she says.

---------- Post Merged at 10:21 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:12 AM ----------

No. What I'm suggesting is that you let your doctors follow there best clinical instincts and wait it out. That's one of the benefits of being in the hospital - they don't expect you to go to work in the morning. Maybe what is needed is that you take the time to wean off some of the medications and settle on one or two or three that work.

Be patient and trust in the experience and training of your caregivers. They know what they are doing.

I wanted to say that this is exactly what I want to do. So it seems that we agree

What they are doing so far is not this. They're maxing me back out on meds that I've been taking for months at the max dosage that I started to adjust a week or two ago with my psychiatrist at the rehab program. Obviously they aren't working as I've been pretty much in a bad situation since I left the hospital and went to the rehab program. So to my common sense, it seems like this is the perfect time to adjust what I'm on.

---------- Post Merged at 02:31 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:12 AM ----------

I just met with my psychiatrist. I don't know why but I wasn't very impressed. I'm sorry to be negative. She didn't ask anything like she usually does and my mind wasn't really with it so I don't know if I told her everything.

She said the Seroquel is staying at 600mg and the Prozac I'm staying at 80mg. Need to wait a week and a half to see if the Prozac increase works and no other changes are happening.

Concerning the sleep, she said to try Clozapine which I took for several months and then stopped working. But she still said to try it again. So I'll be doing that tonight.

Already been at 80mg Prozac for a week and a half maybe. Need patience and time now to wait another week and a half to see if it helps.

I hope it'll do the trick otherwise I'm going to have to add on something else and wait to see if that works. I can easily be here for a month.

I am not happy. But hey, what's news?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I wanted to say that this is exactly what I want to do. So it seems that we agree

If you think we agree, you have not understood what I wrote.

I can easily be here for a month.

And? Why are you in such a hurry to get back outside? How happy were you when you were out there?

 

[AmZ]

Maybe what is needed is that you take the time to wean off some of the medications and settle on one or two or three that work. -- that's what I agree with.

Concerning your other points - I guess I'm not in too much of a rush. I hope that my place will be left there for me. One girl from the rehab program was also hospitalised here but she came last Thursday and only stayed until Sunday. I know that I need to give it the time that it needs. But it feels like swings and roundabouts. After 2 years (sorry to say that again) I don't have that much faith in the medications and in myself.

I know I'm still on the same rhetoric about 'what is the point of life?' and I can't see my future and I still have no hopes and dreams. Still don't know what to do in my life.

To be honest, suicide is still on the cards. I don't think any medication is going to change that thought.

Just sitting here having a nice cry I'm so frustrated and confused.

---------- Post Merged at 04:56 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 04:10 PM ----------

What a state. Can't stop crying.

My psychologist just called from the rehab program. Asked me what I think about ECT and said that he'd spoken to the psychiatrist that received me in the emergency room and he said that he doesn't think I'm depressed. Ex-f******-scuse me. Then apparently he spoke with my psychologist and changed his mind and said ok I have depression.

So ECT. It doesn't look like my psychologist has much faith in the medications either.

Feeling pretty hopeless.

Just easiest to not see my existence in this world.

---------- Post Merged at 05:38 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 04:10 PM ----------

Stupidity. I have panic attacks and anxiety and you know what? When I arrived in the emergency room he asked what I was currently prescribed and I said I have 2mg Clonazepam SOS. The psychiatrist said smiling 'for now, you don't have that, ok?!'. (What the hell does that mean?!). Now I've just had to wait 30 minutes for the psychiatrist to come and check me so I could get the Clonazepam because it wasn't on my medication sheet. And she gave it to me. The doctor for some reason refused to put it down on my list of meds even though I am PRESCRIBED this. I'd never even met the psychiatrist that accepted me in the emergency room. He didn't know anything about me and had no old files on the table about me.

I swear. I'm about to get up and throw some chairs around or something. I'm going to f****** lose it. I'm going to go crazy and lose the plot. The Clonazepam had better kick in VERY SOON.

---------- Post Merged at 09:26 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 04:10 PM ----------

I'm struggling. And I guess that there is no advice for me because it's just all TOO screwed up?

I was so close to getting up and throwing some chairs around but pretty boring as even the windows are made out of thick plastic. Rather boring.

Lucky I just laid frozen on my bed and didn't allow myself to move until the Clonazepam got in my system.

I went crazy with one of the nurses totally angry and sobbing my eyes out. Went to walk out and she called me back, kept saying to me not to hurt myself. Got on the phone to the emergency psychiatrist straight away and said I'm in a bad way. Crying and shaking and tight chested.

Another day in the life of AmZ. Too much fun, I tell ya.

I just want it to be over. Maybe I just won't wake up in the morning.

---------- Post Merged at 10:25 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 04:10 PM ----------

God damn. The nurse won't give me the Clozapine now (10.30pm) and said to come and get it "if" I wake up during the night. No strength to argue. It's just frickin stupidity. I used to take it at 10pm so she wants me now to have to get out of bed during the night, put clothes on and go miserably to get the Clozapine and wait for ages for it to kick in (if it does anything anyway).

I'm sorry to be off ranting like this. I hope I don't sound like too much of a pathetic friggin idiot.

If I do then please just scrape me off the face of this earth. I'll pray for my death.

---------- Post Merged on June 22nd, 2012 at 01:55 AM ---------- Previous Post was on June 21st, 2012 at 04:10 PM ----------

Obviously 2am. Have been awake for an hour. Can't get back to sleep so they've given me 40mg Clozapine.

Nobody has any words to offer me from all of these posts I've made? A little support would be nice - I'm just saying. Obviously struggling here and not the only one who is struggling I know (I don't think I deserve special treatment or anything) but it feels like you guys have given up on me. All of these difficult posts I have made and nobody has anything to say? Just be done with it AmZ, you agree with that?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What is there to say? We've told you you need to be patient and work with your doctors while they make changes. Here it is about 24 hours later and you're already complaining that things aren't changing quickly enough for you.

You need to be patient and take it one day at a time. Nothing new in that advice.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope the medication helps soon.

I'm not sure if anyone else is having this problem, but when you (or anyone else) updates your post it doesn't show as updated. I only check if a new post has been made by someone. I guess I need to start checking whether it shows the post is new or not.

 

[AmZ]

Ok. Thank you.

Just pretty unpleasant stuff has been happening and I've been in distress. I'm not asking for special treatment here. But sometimes, like I do, just saying a kind word or two to someone can help them a lot. That's what I thought was so great about this forum.

I guess I've got an hour max to see if the Clozapine works or not. Already took it 25 mins ago.

If it doesn't work then I've got 2 nights ahead of me before my psychiatrist is back on Sunday. The emergency doctor won't prescribe me with anything new so looks like I'll have to try and make it through the next couple of days on still less and less sleep. Hopefully I will be ok and not go totally crazy and angry or delusional.

 

[Banned]

Ditto to what CD said, and, I went out for a few hours. I checked here before I left, and I just got home. We are in different time zones, doing different things. And sometimes, just have nothing to add.

 

[AmZ]

Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope the medication helps soon.

I'm not sure if anyone else is having this problem, but when you (or anyone else) updates your post it doesn't show as updated. I only check if a new post has been made by someone. I guess I need to start checking whether it shows the post is new or not.

Thanks CD. I really appreciate it. You are right about the auto merging of the posts and it not bouncing the post back to the top but it staying at its original post date and time.

---------- Post Merged at 02:34 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 02:31 AM ----------

Ditto to what CD said, and, I went out for a few hours. I checked here before I left, and I just got home. We are in different time zones, doing different things. And sometimes, just have nothing to add.

I understand. Thank you. I don't mean to be saying this in order to get excuses and apologies or anything. I just wanted to say.

That was one tough afternoon and evening as you can see from my posts and things nearly span out of control.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Thanks CD. I really appreciate it. You are right about the auto merging of the posts and it not bouncing the post back to the top but it staying at its original post date and time.

No. When posts are automerged, the timestamp is updated and if you are subscribed to a thread you receive a new notification. If that is not happening for some of you, your settings for something are incorrect.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Are there classes or groups at the hospital that you can take part in?

---------- Post Merged at 07:37 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:36 PM ----------

It doesn't update on the main board for me. I don't subscribe to any threads. But when someone adds to their post it still shows the same time as the orginal post.

 

[AmZ]

Are there classes or groups at the hospital that you can take part in?

---------- Post Merged at 07:37 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:36 PM ----------

It doesn't update on the main board for me. I don't subscribe to any threads. But when someone adds to their post it still shows the same time as the orginal post.

Ditto. It doesn't come up in new/recent posts. In fact, for the last week or so, I didn't mention anything but also I've not been receiving emails of notifications of new posts made in my threads.

CD - I go to everything that is available in the hospital. Daily group therapy for 30 minutes in the morning. Then 2 hours of the art room and then it's lunchtime and we don't have anything for the rest of the day. Asides from meeting with my psychologist twice a week.

So, took the Clozapine an hour ago and it's had no effect on me. It's 3am so no need to go to the nurses office as there's nothing else I can try to help me sleep. All avenues exhausted for now. 3 days until I can speak with my psychiatrist about it and what we do next. I think it needs to be taken more seriously to be honest. Sleep is so important.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Sleep is important. I hope you can get that straightened out.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Are there classes or groups at the hospital that you can take part in?

---------- Post Merged at 07:37 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:36 PM ----------

It doesn't update on the main board for me. I don't subscribe to any threads. But when someone adds to their post it still shows the same time as the orginal post.

But it does. Check the time at "Post merged at 07:37 PM" and "Previous Post was at 07:36 PM" with the Posted time at the top of your post:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Yes, but it doesn't show up as a new time on the main board or in the recent/new posts. Amz's post all day showed that it was made at 9 am something but she made several other posts. This never showed up as a new post so I didn't know she'd updated until you added your post. I'm sorry if this isn't making sense. It's been an issue for a week or so.

Sorry for the hijack. I was just trying to explain why I hadn't answered her post earlier. I didn't see it as a new post.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Oh... it does bump up the thread in the Recent Posts list but you're saying it doesn't show the new time until someone else replies?

I'll report this as a bug.