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SS8282

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As if trying to support a good friend who's dealing with one friend's suicide and another attempted one, my mother went to a doctor yesterday because she has hyperthyroidism. She needs surgery - no doubt about it. The question is when. She has some samples taken and we're waiting to hear if they're cancerous. If they are, then she'll have surgery earlier.

Work is very busy these past few weeks, and I'm stressed and drained. Earlier this week, I was drinking at my desk while I was alone in the office. That helped me feel better - at the time. Now, my brain tells me it wasn't smart. I'm not sure how much longer I can provide support to everyone and still stay 'sane'. *sigh*
 

SS8282

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Messages
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As if trying to support a good friend who's dealing with one friend's suicide and another attempted one, my mother went to a doctor yesterday because she has hyperthyroidism. She needs surgery - no doubt about it. The question is when. She has some samples taken and we're waiting to hear if they're cancerous. If they are, then she'll have surgery earlier.

Work is very busy these past few weeks, and I'm stressed and drained. Earlier this week, I was drinking at my desk while I was alone in the office. That helped me feel better - at the time. Now, my brain tells me it wasn't smart. I'm not sure how much longer I can provide support to everyone and still stay 'sane'. *sigh*
 

comfortzone

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Hi SS,

It is important to take care of oneself before attempting to support others. Being nurturing to others is great, however, it is important to make sure you are getting the rest, nutrition, and emotional support needed to maintain your life. Taking time out for yourself can be very helpful so that you don't wear down. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help anyone. Please keep us posted.

And welcome to the forum too!
 

comfortzone

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Hi SS,

It is important to take care of oneself before attempting to support others. Being nurturing to others is great, however, it is important to make sure you are getting the rest, nutrition, and emotional support needed to maintain your life. Taking time out for yourself can be very helpful so that you don't wear down. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help anyone. Please keep us posted.

And welcome to the forum too!
 

ThatLady

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Welcome, hon! You've got a lot on your plate, so it's no wonder you're stressed; however, your brain was telling you correctly. Drinking at work, while it might seem to make you feel better, will really just leave you more depressed and stressed out. Additionally, if someone had come in unexpectedly, such behavior could have cost you your job. Now, that would be stressful!

I do hope your mother's tests for cancer are negative. Hyperthyroidism isn't fun but, with surgery, can be managed pretty easily.
 

ThatLady

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Welcome, hon! You've got a lot on your plate, so it's no wonder you're stressed; however, your brain was telling you correctly. Drinking at work, while it might seem to make you feel better, will really just leave you more depressed and stressed out. Additionally, if someone had come in unexpectedly, such behavior could have cost you your job. Now, that would be stressful!

I do hope your mother's tests for cancer are negative. Hyperthyroidism isn't fun but, with surgery, can be managed pretty easily.
 

Heather

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Sorry to hear that you have all that going on, it must be really hard!

I am always offering support to others and am finding I am not coping with it, I am slowly learning to care for myself as well. To give the best support we need to be ok ourselves (I need to take my own advise by the way).

Heather...
 

Heather

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Sorry to hear that you have all that going on, it must be really hard!

I am always offering support to others and am finding I am not coping with it, I am slowly learning to care for myself as well. To give the best support we need to be ok ourselves (I need to take my own advise by the way).

Heather...
 

momof5

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I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's thyroid. I do understand. I lost half of mine due to a tumor21 years ago. Now need an ultra sound on the good part. No synthroid for years as it balanced itself out.

And I understand about listening to all around you. And I'm sure they ask you not to tell anyone either, which can create more of a stress with it.

Listen to ThatLady, she is one smart lady, take care of yourself along the way also. And please don't drink at work. This can't be good, and if you loose your job over it, that will be one more thign that will stress you out.

Welcome to the forums, and please post anytime you need anything as someone will always be here to give you support and try to help you out.
 

momof5

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I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's thyroid. I do understand. I lost half of mine due to a tumor21 years ago. Now need an ultra sound on the good part. No synthroid for years as it balanced itself out.

And I understand about listening to all around you. And I'm sure they ask you not to tell anyone either, which can create more of a stress with it.

Listen to ThatLady, she is one smart lady, take care of yourself along the way also. And please don't drink at work. This can't be good, and if you loose your job over it, that will be one more thign that will stress you out.

Welcome to the forums, and please post anytime you need anything as someone will always be here to give you support and try to help you out.
 

SS8282

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Messages
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Comfortzone, ThatLady, Heather, momof5 - thank you for your welcome and support. I guess the consenses is that I need to take care of myself first. That kinda makes sense (can't help anyone else if I'm in a bad place), but it's hard. How do I convince myself that I'm not being uncaring and selfish by putting myself first?

We won't know the results of the samples for a week or two, but I'll certainly keep you posted. You are all wonderful people.
 

SS8282

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Messages
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Comfortzone, ThatLady, Heather, momof5 - thank you for your welcome and support. I guess the consenses is that I need to take care of myself first. That kinda makes sense (can't help anyone else if I'm in a bad place), but it's hard. How do I convince myself that I'm not being uncaring and selfish by putting myself first?

We won't know the results of the samples for a week or two, but I'll certainly keep you posted. You are all wonderful people.
 

comfortzone

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You are welcome SS! I think of doing for myself (making sure my needs are met) as helping others as well. If you constantly did for others and did nothing to provide for your own upkeep...then you would have nothing to give to be supportive or caring to anyone. We all have needs as well as issues that arise that need our care...if we are focusing our attention on everyone else but ourselves...could it not be a distraction from what is happening with ourselves? Thus, we can keep the attention away from the issues that could possibly appear overwhelming if we began to focus more attention on ourselves. Do keep us posted. Do something that you enjoy, whether it be going to a movie, reading a good book, or watching a tv program, or whatever you like...begin now as you can enjoy your time caring for you. Many times what we give to others can be the simplest of things...such as a smile. Take care,
 

comfortzone

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You are welcome SS! I think of doing for myself (making sure my needs are met) as helping others as well. If you constantly did for others and did nothing to provide for your own upkeep...then you would have nothing to give to be supportive or caring to anyone. We all have needs as well as issues that arise that need our care...if we are focusing our attention on everyone else but ourselves...could it not be a distraction from what is happening with ourselves? Thus, we can keep the attention away from the issues that could possibly appear overwhelming if we began to focus more attention on ourselves. Do keep us posted. Do something that you enjoy, whether it be going to a movie, reading a good book, or watching a tv program, or whatever you like...begin now as you can enjoy your time caring for you. Many times what we give to others can be the simplest of things...such as a smile. Take care,
 

SS8282

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Messages
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I do, do things for myself, sometimes - like being in the internet, and reading at night before going to bed. Unfortunately, when I'm supporting others, it's like I have to be there 110%. Can't seem to retain some of the 'comforting' feelings I get when I do things for myself. Hard for me to separate myself from the other person. Does that make sense?
 

SS8282

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Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
152
Points
16
I do, do things for myself, sometimes - like being in the internet, and reading at night before going to bed. Unfortunately, when I'm supporting others, it's like I have to be there 110%. Can't seem to retain some of the 'comforting' feelings I get when I do things for myself. Hard for me to separate myself from the other person. Does that make sense?
 

momof5

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Messages
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ss:
that makes perfect sense.

before my injuries etc.. I was everywhere doing everything for everyone that needed anything done.

I am not that person anymore, but I try to do as much as i can, which bothers me sometimes as i feel as though I don't do enough.

My energies are limited, especially this year with so much stress on my end. And the weather changes increase the pain levels and the breathing. And when the breathing is ok, then the pain levels cause the headahces, lol, can't win for loosing this year!

My personality has always been thta of I can do it myself, not needing help for things, and i have always hated to ask for help. Not sure if that makes any sense?
 

momof5

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ss:
that makes perfect sense.

before my injuries etc.. I was everywhere doing everything for everyone that needed anything done.

I am not that person anymore, but I try to do as much as i can, which bothers me sometimes as i feel as though I don't do enough.

My energies are limited, especially this year with so much stress on my end. And the weather changes increase the pain levels and the breathing. And when the breathing is ok, then the pain levels cause the headahces, lol, can't win for loosing this year!

My personality has always been thta of I can do it myself, not needing help for things, and i have always hated to ask for help. Not sure if that makes any sense?
 

ThatLady

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I think it's important to remember how good WE feel when we're able to do something for someone else. If you keep that in mind, you'll realize that allowing others to do for us is like giving a gift, because those people get the same good feeling we do. The act of asking for and accepting support and help from others is not selfish. It's an act of giving as much as giving the support and help to others is an act of giving. :)
 

ThatLady

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I think it's important to remember how good WE feel when we're able to do something for someone else. If you keep that in mind, you'll realize that allowing others to do for us is like giving a gift, because those people get the same good feeling we do. The act of asking for and accepting support and help from others is not selfish. It's an act of giving as much as giving the support and help to others is an act of giving. :)
 
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