Worried and Stressed

[Daniel E.]

I don't mind interacting over the phone, but in person - I'm shaking. My anxiety goes to overdrive and I get panicky.

This may seem corny or something you've tried before to no avail, but what about rehearsing, role playing, or simulating the experience to help habituate/expose yourself to that kind of social situation? I tend to use this strategy to a fault. A better strategy for me is just going to different social situations on a very regular basis even if I don't want to. That's part of the reason I'm going to a conference in December.

In the long-term, group therapy would seem to be one possible treatment for social phobia in addition to individual therapy and medications.

 

[Daniel E.]

I've highlighted techniques below that seem most relevant to preparing for trade shows:

Social anxiety disorder (social phobia): Self-Care
(from MayoClinic.com)

...Practicing these techniques regularly can help you manage or reduce your anxiety. You may need to begin with small steps in situations that aren't overwhelming.

These techniques include:

- Eating with a close relative, friend or acquaintance in a public setting.

- Making eye contact and returning greetings from others, or being the first to say hello.

- Preparing for conversation. For instance, read the newspaper to identify an interesting story you can talk about.

- Giving someone a compliment.

- Focusing on personal qualities you like about yourself.

- Showing an interest in others. Ask about their homes, children and grandchildren, hobbies or travels, for instance.

- Asking a retail clerk to help you find an item.

- Getting directions from a stranger.

Also at the Mayo Clinic site for social phobia is a list of coping methods, the first of which is "Banishing negative thoughts about yourself." Obviously, a big problem with social phobia is the fear that others will be critical of oneself, as if we were still living in small tribes when rejection from the group could mean starvation.

 

[SS8282]

Those are good ideas. I've already practices some of them. The hardest part is stopping the negative thoughts about myself. I don't know if it makes sense, but the 'voices' that criticize me seem to be coming from other people. It's as if I read their minds. I look at them, and criticisms just appear in my head.

What about technical questions? There are a lot of techy people there, and I am not techy at all. There's no way I can pretend I know what I'm talking about, let alone understanding them.

 

[Daniel E.]

What about technical questions? There are a lot of techy people there, and I am not techy at all. There's no way I can pretend I know what I'm talking about, let alone understanding them.

What kind of technical questions? Often, the kinds of technical questions that are asked by potential clients can be anticipated to some degree and prepared for. If you are referring to just general conversation about tech stuff, joining a related tech forum, reading daily tech news, listening to related podcats, etc. can obviously help. Another approach is to use some of the same products that one's clients use.

 

[SS8282]

I work at an engineering company, and a lot of the people who attend would like to know how certain equipment would be more efficient and save electricity/gas money. They want to know the type, the size, how they work (lighting, boilers) everything that comes with it.

Another thing that we do is VOIP - I don't know much about computers. All I know is what VOIP stands for, that you 'talk' through a computer, and that it's cheaper than an actual phone line. I don't know what kind of computer, router, phones, nothing. The people at work tried to explain it to me, but darn it - I just don't understand.

Since I'm the only female in the company, my boss want's to use that point to our advantage. Most people there are male. For some reasons, men like to talk to me. I think my boss' thinking is that I can establish some kind of 'relationship' with the people in case we want them as our clients or as 'partners'.

I hope I won't do something dumb and embarrass myself and the company.

 

[Daniel E.]

Regarding VoIP, which I don't know much about, there are some intro books on VoIP at Amazon, including VoIP for Dummies, which was released in September. (I have enjoyed some of the "Dummies" tech books, though I haven't read the VoIP book.)

 

[SS8282]

Didn't know there was a voip for dummies. How do you get past the connotation you're a 'dummy' when buying a 'dummy' book? I've looked through some of those books, but never had the courage to actually buy one. I guess since this is a techy thing, it's ok. I'll be going out this weekend, so I'll see if I can find a copy. Thanks.

 

[SS8282]

I got the book. There's a lot of info in it. It's going to take me a while to go through it, but I'm sure it'll help me know more. I guess there's hope?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Years ago I took a course on basic auto mechanics and bought a book called Auto Repair for Dummies. That book was amazing. It even showed you how to rebuild a carburetor or repair a transmission but id did it all with pictures and simple language.

 

[SS8282]

Pictures and simple language - exactly what I need. Can you come and fix my car if it breaks down, David? hehe

Seriously, I'm on page 24 now, and wow - there are a lot of technical terms there, lots of acronyms too. I constantly have to flip back to the beginning to remind myself what the terms mean. I can just imagin when I'm on page 90 or towards the end. Part of me thinks I'm much more of a dummy than what the book called. If it's for 'dummies' and it's hard for me to understand it... *sigh* Don't think I can finish the book before Thursday. (

 

[ThatLady]

Heh. The "for dummies" tag has always given me a giggle. I know for sure, if someone wrote a book titled "Physics for Dummies", I could read myself blind and still be totally befuddled.

 

[SS8282]

I think those 'dummies' books are a misnomer. Then again, maybe if I read some other dummies books they would be easier to understand. It probably depends on how easy it is for a person to understand and retain certain topics. I dunno. It's easier for me to learn by seeing and doing, oh and having equipment labled.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think those 'dummies' books are a misnomer.

I agree. It has nothing to do with the readers being "dummies". It has to do with starting with the basics, not assuming that the reader has any prior knowledge, and then explaining things in straightforward language without trying to get too fancy.

 

[SS8282]

You're right David. Wish there are Cole's Notes for these 'Dummies' books. I'm ready to give up - so lost.

The trade show that I went to last week was the biggest in Canada. There were thousands of people. I hope everyone there will forget me. I was such a dummy there - just like a bump on a log. During the exhibits, I went around the booths and wait for the people manning them to be occupied by other people before I dared to grab some brochures and 'treats'. I felt so embarrassed when I got 'caught' taking a brochure, like a kid getting caught shoplifting.

I went with a co-worker, so I slept in the car on the way back to the office after lunch. I was so exhausted and tense. I don't know how to relax at these kinds of things - trade shows.