Close friend died this morning.

[Incubus9083]

A very dear friend of mine has died this morning. He committed suicide. I have known him since 7th grade. 9 years of friendship, gone in an instant. I am deeply saddened by this. I was told about this on my lunch break. I laughed at first thinking it was a joke, but it wasnt. I havent talked to him in a couple months, I moved to Ohio from Texas. I left and didnt tell him goodbye for some really odd reason, and his cell phone had changed. I guess what makes it harder is that I dont have my friends here to comfort me and to help me cope with this, so I am having to deal with this on my own, and it is very very difficult. I cannot believe this has happened, I think about it and I tell myself this is a dream, that he is ok and back home. We shared common interests which also brought us closer throughout the years. And the thing that gets me the most is that...he was the first guy I felt attracted to. I developed a crush on him back then, before we were friends, and thought I would have never been friends with him. But that developed into a friendship. In a couple months, I turn 21. This is when I was planning on telling him about that first time we met. And now I dont have the chance. I am soo...I dont know what to think. I dont know how I am going to sleep. I dont know how I am going to go back to the place we grew up and not cry and not be able to.....to see him and hang out with him. I need help, I am also thinking about seeing a Psychologist, but not sure. I would appreciate all the support and advice anyone has for me. I hope I can stay strong through this...its difficult.

 

[Holly]

Dear Incubus9083,
My name is Holly, I am sorry for the loss of your friend, if your in Ohio, you can contact the crisis line if you need to talk with someone!
David is the psychologist here at the forum.
I am sure he will be able to direct during your time of grief.
Your in my thoughts Incubus9083, take care, I am glad you came to the forum for help.

 

[ThatLady]

It's always difficult to lose someone you care for, hon. Losing someone to suicide is that much more difficult because we are left without closure. We really don't understand. It's also hard not to feel that if we'd just been there, we could have stopped this from happening. From that little seed of doubt can come guilt, if we're not very, very careful.

You are not responsible for what happened to your friend. You, in this case, are a sort of victim. You are left to suffer the loss, unable to understand why it happened. Getting help is your best bet. Seeing a psychologist, or a grief counsellor, can be of great help to you. It's important that you have the opportunity to talk out your feelings with someone who understands what you're going through and knows how to help you cope through the grieving process.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Try to remember the good times as much as you can. Get help for those times when the good times seem too far away to grasp.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm really sorry about the loss of your friend.

I think getting some help to deal with it is a good idea.

It seems like when someone dies there are so many questions, so many "what could have beens" or "what should have been" or "what might have been" and all of a sudden it is all gone in an instant like you said. Very difficult to deal with.

 

[Rosa]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know what its like to feel like killing yourself, but I have to wonder if theres anything like the pain we leave those with that we've left behind.
I too, would suggest talking to someone. It might help you deal with some of your feelings right now. Your not alone-we are here and feel free to write as much as you want.
In friendship
Rosa