Getting very stressed out with my doctors

[Steven_v]

steven you say:

now they may not be recuring and there hardly ever of 13 or under

that clearly does not fall under the definition given. the thoughts must be of children under 13 and they must be recurring. you state neither of these are the case.

what's making things look hopeless with your psychologist?

maybe iam just looking for reasons to punish myself with out even realising it

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't think experiencing these repetitive thoughts make you a pedophile, Steven. It sounds a lot more like obsessive-compulsive worrying to me.

 

[Steven_v]

well i hope so, i would rather die than be a pedophile.
hope i can see my therapist soon iam starting to forget all the things i wanted to talk about, cause its been so long news ones just creep up

 

[ThatLady]

You might try writing those thoughts down. Perhaps, write them on notepad in your computer, and store them in My Documents. That way, they'll be there to print out before your appoinment.

It's pretty obvious that you don't qualify as a paedophile, based on the description you quoted. I agree with David, however, that you're having a problem with obsessive/compulsive worrying. That's something you definitely need to discuss at length with your therapist, since it seems to be giving you a very hard time.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I don't think experiencing these repetitive thoughts make you a pedophile, Steven. It sounds a lot more like obsessive-compulsive worrying to me.

I aggree with this. Its something you detest and because you're OCD, your worry keeps putting the thoughts inside your brain.

 

[Halo]

Hi Steven,

I just wanted to send you well wishes in the hopes of getting an appointment soon with your therapist. I know how waiting can be and to be honest it sucks. I think that TL had a great idea of writing down what you want to say and talk about. I know that it has helped me to do that when I feel like my brain is overloaded.

As for the pedophile issue....you said yourself that they are not reoccuring and not under 13 so I don't see how you fit the criteria at all but obviously it causing you stress and therefore you probably need to discuss it with your therapist to ease your own mind.

Good luck in getting an appt. soon and let us know how things are going.
Take Care

 

[Holly]

I don't think experiencing these repetitive thoughts make you a pedophile, Steven. It sounds a lot more like obsessive-compulsive worrying to me.

Hi Steven,
I think Dr. Baxter experience in this area is important. I would agree it sounds a lot more like the obsessive-compulsive related to you the illness that may be troubling you.
Maybe when you do get an appointment you could have questions ready for your doctor to help understand how much this is bothering you.
Take care, I personally hope you get the appointment soon.
While your waiting Steven you have the forum.

 

[Steven_v]

so i finally got an apointment with my therapist this friday. only problem is its incredibly early in the morning, and if i reschedule i may not get another apointment for ages and ive been waiting awhile for this one plus i dont want it to seem as if iam messing him about.
dont know what to do

 

[ThatLady]

Sounds to me like you'd better make this appointment, steven. As you say, you've been waiting for quite awhile, and you're having some real problems. You need to make a committment to yourself to get yourself to this appointment no matter how early, or how inconvenient, it is.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I aggree - I think that the appointment is worth getting up for.

 

[Halo]

I agree with TL and Phoenix that making it to your appointment is something that you should really try and do. You have waited a long time and do have some pressing issues to talk about so making the committment to show up is the best option.

Good luck Steven and let us know how your appointment goes.

 

[Into The Light]

hi steven, it is important you make the effort to get there. set your alarm, and set it loud. you need someone to help you with your intrusive thoughts. you overslept last time so you need to make sure this doesn't happen again. the longer you put off going the longer you're stuck with all your intrusive thoughts. you can do this!

 

[Steven_v]

but i know if i do go that early i wont be in any mood for talking

 

[Halo]

Steven,

I think that you have to keep an open mind and if you are already thinking that you don't want to talk because it will be too early than you are setting yourself up not to talk.

Again, maybe if you printed off what you have written here and bring it with you it may help with opening up.

 

[Into The Light]

steven, you have two choices. either you make the effort to go or you don't. if you go, it's the first step to getting help with your problem. if you don't go, nothing will change. it's your choice.

if you think the mornings are a problem for you then schedule the next follow up appointment right now. call them today and ask when they can see you in the afternoon. don't wait til the last minute. i always have to book my appointments in advance to avoid having a waiting period.

i hope this helps. good luck.

 

[ThatLady]

but i know if i do go that early i wont be in any mood for talking

While I understand what you're saying, steven, it's still important that you keep this appointment. I'm not a "morning person", either; yet, I still have to go to work, or to a meeting, or to an appointment on some mornings. The world doesn't always set itself to satisfy my wishes, darn it!

Seriously, though ...sometimes, we have to do things we might not really want, or like, to do. We have to set priorities, and we have to make committments to do things that might not completely suit our preferences. Right now, your health and well-being should be your priorities, and your obsession with these thoughts that are troubling you needs to be addressed as soon as possible.

 

[Halo]

Steven

I think that TL is right when she says that many people have to do things in the morning that they don't want to. I know for me I am not a morning person either as I prefer to :zzz: but when I have made a committment to work, meetings or therapy I make sure that I go because part of my depression is blowing off committments and work and not wanting to do anything although it may help.

Please Steven, reconsider going to your appointment and don't worry if you can't talk, like I have said before, take some of your writings with you and maybe that will help to explain what has been going on with you.

Take care and let us know.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I wonder steven, (and this is only a suggestion) but I wonder if you are afraid of saying aloud what you have said here? You missed your last appointment, and you are *making excuses* (this isn't a criticisim - I do it all of the time) to not go.
You have previously told us how much you detest these thoughts, are you worried that your therapist will detest you as a result of hearing them?

 

[Steven_v]

possibly certanly before i posted here it was but posting here has made me not so worried about that anymore. but its mainly cause i can never tell what my mood is going to be from day to day. like i might wake up on friday and feel perfectly fine, have forgoten most of my problems i wont be able to think of anything to say to my therapist and i leave with him thinking everything is ok, then the next day or even a couple of hours late Bamm! its all back again possibly even worse and iam left with my therapist thinking that iam doing ok and a week or more till my next apointment. and come that day i may feel alright and so it happens all over again. if the apointment is when i want it then i have time to focus on what has happened and what i need to say to make my thrapist realise that if iam happy now its certanly not always like this, infact the majority of the time iam in hell.

 

[Halo]

Steven

I think that what you describes is very detailed of how you feel. I think that you should either print it off the way you wrote it on here or for you to explain it to him on Friday. I think that telling him about this will give you a good place to start. He will know that just because you are sitting in front of him and not stressed or upset doesn't mean that you are okay and that it won't hit later on.

Very good insight Steven. Please make this a priority to speak to him about this week.

Take care