I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia

[white page]

That is certainly an interesting article Onmeds, why don't you discuss this with your Doctor, who as your support proffessional knows you better than we ever possibly can.

I would just like to say that there are as many pro caffeine studies as there are anti caffiene studies.

Each case is particular and it would be a mistake to auto diagnose yourself on the strength of an article, though coffee and other beverages containing caffeine have beneficial properties , any excessive consumption of any beverage or food should be avoided.

 

[OnMeds]

At one point, I was drinking 400g of instant coffee, a week. I'm assuming this wasn't healthy and it had to have some kind of mental health repercussions. Perhaps such an overload of caffeine helped cause my schizophrenia or the appearance of schizophrenia.

It would be great if abstaining from caffeine would make all my schizophrenia symptoms disappear. I really hope for stuff like this. False hope makes me happy. My predicament sucks!

That is certainly an interesting article Onmeds, why don't you discuss this with your Doctor, who as your support professional knows you better than we ever possibly can.

I've been getting this advise, to speak with my doctor, since I first started posting. I will follow it, but what should I do in the meantime? I want to help myself somehow and THIS seems to be my only option for the time being. Question: do you think I'm wasting my time posting on this site? I have been hoping to get helped somehow. Am I asking for too much? Or have I been misled somehow? I really don't know what I can do (considering these symptoms) - I guess I find comfort in posting on here. I feel like I'll eventually get the help I need IF I just hold on a little longer.

I've been diagnosed with a severe mental illness and I don't know what to do RIGHT NOW. On the 3rd I shall see my doctor and tell him about what we've been discussing, but until then, I have no other options available to me. And due to my symptoms I do not want to communicate with the outside world, so I'm sort of stuck. Now, is there any help available for someone like me? There doesn't seem to be much help available for someone with a severe mental illness (for example, group therapy requires "some" health, right?). The treatment options for me seem to be very limited.

I would just like to say that there are as many pro caffeine studies as there are anti caffeine studies.

Not if someone has an allergy to the stuff. I heard that the way you develop an allergy is by overloading the system with too much caffeine - just like I've done in the past.

At least with coffee (IF it's true) I know what the problem is, but with schizophrenia it's different - no one really knows what the problem is, they only have theories, etc. I'm sure they're making progress with finding out what exactly is wrong, but for the time being, they don't know what's wrong. And I'm sort of stuck in limbo.

Can anyone relate? I sometimes feel like the only person going through this.

 

[Into The Light]

no, you aren't wasting your time by posting here, not at all. posting is helpful because when you write you are trying to describe your problem, and in the process of doing so it helps clarify things for you. for example you say you don't know what you are going through, you wouldn't have come to that conclusion i suspect if you hadn't written it here.

posting is also helpful in that it can be therapeutic to get all this stuff off your chest, and indeed as you say, to bring you some comfort. you aren't alone in struggling.

what brought me here was depression and the struggle i went through because of it. part of depression is withdrawal and social isolation, so even though i am not going through nor have gone through what you are, i can relate to that part of your struggle.

i think in a way everyone who goes through something like this feels very alone. i hope that in continuing to post here you will feel less alone. it certainly helped me a lot.

posting here is helpful because we can try to find ways to help you cope while you are waiting to see your doctor. we all have or have had various illnesses here and what we all have in common is the struggle to get through what we're going through while we work our way back to health, or as close to health as possible.

with schizophrenia it's different - no one really knows what the problem is, they only have theories, etc.

they may not know the exact causes of schizophrenia but the same is true for other illnesses such as depression. we don't have a tell-tale cause, and the best we can do - so far - is to say that some people are predisposed or more vulnerable to the illness than others, and that sometimes it will come out and other times it won't, depending on life stressors and environmental factors.

due to my symptoms I do not want to communicate with the outside world, so I'm sort of stuck.

are you living on your own? do you have family and friends who know about your struggle right now?

 

[white page]

Hi Onmeds ,
No I don't think you are wasting your time posting here. We refer every
member back to their Doctor because it is not within our competence to hazard diagnosis on line.

We are here to listen to you and support you in the steps that you are taking in the treatment and acceptance of your diagnosis.

To return to excessive coffee consumption.

Allergy to caffiene is in fact rare according to recent studies. However it is a very good idea to limit coffee intake for everyone.

You can help yourself by asking for your next appointment with your Dr. to be brought forward, that way you can discuss face to face all the issues which are troubling you at the moment.
take care wp

 

[Into The Light]

you aren't doing anything wrong. it's the illness that is making you feel the way you feel. it's not you who is "wanting" to feel that way. it needs to be treated which is what you are doing by seeing your doctor. it's not an instant overnight fix and it will take patience and effort. i know you probably don't want to hear that but like with any of these illnesses that is just the way it is.

why is anyone reading your post? because this is a self-help forum and you are trying to get support. we're here to offer support as best we can based on our own experiences in coping and healing. it's up to you what you think will be helpful to you and what won't. we're here as a sounding board.

i was there was more i could offer you than just words. at the very least this forum helps a bit with your isolation like it did for me.

 

[Retired]

you're just mocking me

No one has mocked you since you joined Psychlinks, and it won't happen because every post is monitored.

Everyone has been working hard to offer constructive suggestions so you can get better.

No one wants to ban you either, as long as the discussion remains polite and without any foul language.

 

[Charity]

Hey... again, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. I'd like to be your friend and help you, though I'm not sure what to say that might help you feel better. In any case, I'm thinking of you a lot, and hoping you're taking care of yourself. All I can offer you for THIS MOMENT are friendship and kind thoughts. Maybe at least you can know that there's a real-life person, sitting at a real-life computer, getting ready to go wash her hair now, who is thinking kindly of you and hoping you feel better soon. That's all I've got, but it's yours if you'll accept it.

-Charity

 

[OnMeds]

You're all very kind.

Thank you.

Now I must say this: I feel the need to leave this place. Please don't get the wrong idea. This place helps... In some ways... I feel too involved (or dependent) now (if that makes sense). I'm just confused... I don't know if this place helps or not... Or if it makes things worse for me. I'm not well and I'm not in a good place right now.

I feel foolish for coming on here and writing down my feelings. I once thought it would help, but that's not the kind of help that I really need. Or is it? I don't know.

I'm drinking beer right now (I bought one). I needed this. It feels good and familiar. I really shouldn't be drinking this. Not with my condition and past alcohol problems. Oh well.

May I ask why my last post was deleted?

********************************************************************************************************

I want to get some real help for my problems. Not the kind that makes you feel good for a little while. Some thing that makes a difference. This does, but that's not what I mean. I don't really know what I mean and I don't know what kind of help I expected from here.

I would like to get well... Somehow. I want to force it. How? Can it be forced? I can't help it.

I need more beer! (NOT)

Question: if you know how I feel, because you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and have felt the same way, then what did you do to cope?


Kind regards,
Peter

 

[Jazzey]

Hi Peter,

I'm happy to see you back. By all means, do whatever you need to do to feel better. If you need to take a break from this place, that's ok.

If you want to come back, you know where to find us.

Take good care of yourself and I hope that you feel better very soon.
Jazzey

 

[Charity]

Like Jazzey said-- do what you need to do to feel better. It's good to see you, though, and I hope you don't stay away.

Take care of yourself!
-Charity

 

[OnMeds]

Even while taking meds, I still feel like I'm getting worse. Could the problem be the caffeine intake?

Caffeine wakes me up when I first drink it, but afterwards it makes me confused. Would quitting be a wise choice and a solution to my current problem?

Current problem: my thoughts are racing and I feel like I urgently need to be somewhere, but I have nowhere to go. Panicky. And it feels like I'm stuck with this - as if I have no way out.

I'm quitting caffeine. That's it!

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One last thing: I feel really guilty for drinking that one beer. I thought it might help, but now it seems to have aided in making me feel worse. Blah!

For some reason I've developed a strong obsessive-compulsive tendency to post now. This is another reason why I should probably take a break from this place. What do you think?

I'm not sure what to do.

Anyway, you've all been great. I wish you well and please take care. I'm not going to leave just yet, so feel free to post your thoughts about anything (I like reading these posts). Thank you.



Kind regards,
Peter

 

[Charity]

What I want to say to you, I first want to preface with this big huge enormous disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor, a psychotherapist, a nurse, or any other sort of trained health-care professional. Everything I am about to say is purely my own opinion, and you have no reason whatsoever to believe it in the least.

Now then.... Dude, I have to be honest with you. I have a very, very strong feeling that all of your thoughts and worries about caffeine are mainly just a form of "grasping at straws," so to speak-- desperately searching for any possible alternative explanation for what you are experiencing besides schizophrenia. I say this only out of love and compassion, as I understand very well the internal and external implications of being diagnosed with a mental illness. I think you know as well as I do that wishing really, really hard for something to be true/untrue doesn't do much to change the reality of a given situation-- and even so, I too am guilty of my own wishful thinking on a daily basis, so I'm not being judgmental. It seems from everything that you've said here that you're basically trying to find a way to make it so that you don't actually have schizophrenia. It also sounds like almost any other explanation would be preferable to you. That's fine, and perfectly understandable, but it really does nothing at all to help you actually feel better.

A hypothetical question... What if you could somehow know for absolute certain (for example, God Himself comes down from the sky and tells you, or a simple blood test is developed, etc.) that you truly are schizophrenic? Would you be happy to know for certain what the problem is, or would you be devastated to know that you are actually mentally ill?

Please don't think I'm being harsh. I really do understand from experience that it's very unpleasant to live with the knowledge that your most vital organ is somehow malfunctioning. BUT, if we do happen to be in that select group of people who are placed in that position, does it do anyone any good to try and deny it?

I do agree with you that caffeine, as a stimulant, can aggravate symptoms of anxiety. If you feel better without it, by all means give it up! I just hate to see you going through what I personally perceive as a frantic effort to make the diagnosis you were given untrue.

Talk to me! I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I've said. In the meantime-- keep hanging in there. You can trust in the fact that we're always here to listen.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I have to be honest with you. I have a very, very strong feeling that all of your thoughts and worries about caffeine are mainly just a form of "grasping at straws," so to speak-- desperately searching for any possible alternative explanation for what you are experiencing besides schizophrenia.

I totally agree.

 

[OnMeds]

A hypothetical question... What if you could somehow know for absolute certain (for example, God Himself comes down from the sky and tells you, or a simple blood test is developed, etc.) that you truly are schizophrenic? Would you be happy to know for certain what the problem is, or would you be devastated to know that you are actually mentally ill?

I know that there's a problem. A big problem. But I don't know what it is. Labeling it as schizophrenia is fine when it's absolutely true. It's probably absolutely true in my case (!), but I still don't know what is wrong with me. I have schizophrenia. Not good. But I still don't know what is wrong and I don't know how to help myself. I've written about my symptoms and these symptoms persist. The bottom line is that they don't know what schizophrenia is. They don't know what it really is. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just know that there's a big problem. I continue to take my pills in hopes of getting better. So far it's not working out too well.

Anyway, I know that I have schizophrenia. It doesn't make me happy knowing what I have, because I don't really know what I have. Nobody does. That's not very comforting and it certainly is devastating news... For me.

It's a brain disorder. OK, now what? Get treatment. Great! Symptoms persist, but at least I know what I have now.

I hope they soon discover what schizophrenia really is and find a cure. Imagine a world in which I'm cured of schizophrenia. That would be awesome! I look forward to such a day.

The caffeine allergy looks promising. Maybe it's not. I don't know. Anyway, I have quit caffeine because it made me feel worse... And I feel better for it.



Kind regards,
Peter

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For the record: I know that I have schizophrenia. But this knowledge doesn't do anything for me. Should it? What's out there? I'll ask my psychiatrist. Anyway, I know that my treatment options are very limited.

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Question: how much of this is the illness and how much of it is me?

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Thank you for all your help.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

But I don't know what it is.

Your doctors have told you what it is. The problem is you have an illness called schizophrenia.

But I still don't know what is wrong and I don't know how to help myself. I've written about my symptoms and these symptoms persist.

You have been given a LOT of advice about how to help yourself. Go back and read that advice. It takes time for medications to fully manage schizophrenic symptoms.

The bottom line is that they don't know what schizophrenia is. They don't know what it really is.

That's not true. We know what schizophrenia is. We also know how to treat it.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I just know that there's a big problem.

Yes, you do: Schizophrenia. You are just having a lot of difficulty accepting that.

I continue to take my pills in hopes of getting better. So far it's not working out too well.

It takes time. You have to be patient and you have to talk to your doctor and give him the feedback he needs.

Anyway, I know that I have schizophrenia. It doesn't make me happy knowing what I have, because I don't really know what I have. Nobody does. That's not very comforting and it certainly is devastating news... For me.

That's contradictory. You say know you have schizophrenia in one breath and state that you don't know what is wrong with you in the next. What is wrong with you is schizophrenia.

It's a brain disorder. OK, now what? Get treatment. Great! Symptoms persist, but at least I know what I have now.

Correct. Be patient. Talk to your doctor. Give the medication time to work.

I hope they soon discover what schizophrenia really is and find a cure. Imagine a world in which I'm cured of schizophrenia. That would be awesome! I look forward to such a day.

We know what schizophrenia is. We know how to treat it. There may not be a "cure" but there is treatment that will help you to manage your symptoms and "get your life back".

The caffeine allergy looks promising.

No. You don't have an allergy. You have schizophrenia.

Anyway, I have quit caffeine because it made me feel worse... And I feel better for it.

That's reason enough to quit caffeine.

For the record: I know that I have schizophrenia. But this knowledge doesn't do anything for me. Should it? What's out there? I'll ask my psychiatrist. Anyway, I know that my treatment options are very limited.

Not at all. They are limited primarily by you.

Question: how much of this is the illness and how

That's a difficult question to answer. You are not just schizophrenia. Where does the schizophrenia end and the core of your personality begin? Hard to know until the symptoms of schizophrenia are fully under control. Then you will be able to see what is left.

 

[white page]

Hi Onmeds , yes it is devastating to be diagnosed with a mental illness, as it is devastating to be diagnosed with any major physical disfunction which affects us in our ability to function in a world of seemingly healthy people.

Many illnesses cannot be cured but they can be controlled and stabilized , the often used example of diabetes is very valid , diabetes cannot be cured , but with daily monitoring and the regular daily injections of insulin it can be stabilised and controlled, sufferers live full and good lives as long as they follow the ground rules, when diabetes is first diagnosed it takes time and patience to find exactly the right dosage of insulin for each individual metabolism.

An illness such as schizoprenia needs exactly the same discipline, it cannot be cured , but it can be controlled and stabilised as long as there is a rigourous taking of the medication prescribed, your Doctor needs to know exactly how you are feeling in order to decide whether to up your dosage or not, that is why the suggestion of keeping a mood log is excellent, this makes you an actor in your path towards stabilisation.

Keeping away from all stimulants such as alcohol and coffee is also a good idea as it allows your medication to be fully effectif .
The person I know who has the very same illness as you, leads a good life only because she takes her medication very regularly and she now knows that she can only lead a good life because of her medication.


best wishes wp

 

[Charity]

Hello again,

Dr. Baxter and White Page have pretty much said everything I was going to say in reply to your last post... thanks guys. :goodpost:

I know it's hard. I know it isn't fair. In time you'll have it all sorted out, and there just isn't any way to make time fly by any faster to get there. All you can do at this point is to make sure you're doing everything according to your doctor's instructions, so that you can minimize the amount of time needed to get there.

Many of us have been through what you're going through now-- just trying to come to terms with our respective illnesses and figure and what works and what doesn't in terms of managing the symptoms. Trust me-- if you do what you need to do in cooperation with a good doctor, you'll soon be quite the little expert on your illness, how it affects you, and exactly how to keep yourself functioning at your best. Hang in there. :friends:

 

[OnMeds]

Thanks for all the help everyone!

I'd like to make a request:

Can someone please delete this account and ban my IP address? Thank you.


Kind regards,
Peter

 

[Charity]

Why don't you wish to remain a part of the forum? Sorry to be so blunt, but... how come?

 

[OnMeds]

The simple answer is "because I'm too crazy."

It's impossible to explain. Plus, it's becoming impossible for me to communicate (period!) over the Internet. I feel like this thread was a waste of time. Nothing has resolved itself and I still don't know what to do... Besides... Leave. Leaving seems like the right thing to do.

I wish I could have made this work. This is also why group therapy won't work for me. No, I haven't gone to group therapy, but it's not hard to imagine what it would be like. It would be a disaster!

If you don't know or if you haven't experienced what I'm experiencing, then it's impossible for me to explain it. Any attempts at an explanation would lead to confusion or misunderstanding, so why bother? It doesn't help me to try and explain it. It may do the opposite. It may lead to new problems.

I'm creating my own problems by thinking about what my problems are. Crazy, huh? Well, it makes sense to me.

I associate this place with my problems now, so in order for me to get better... I'm going to have to leave.

Does any of that make sense? I don't know anymore.


Kind regards,
Peter