I have been thinking!

[David Baxter PhD]

Why would they put someone on SSRI if one of the side effects is risk of suicide? That would not make sense.

That has primarily to do with correlation rather than causation -- people who are depressed tend to think of suicide. The suicide rate went down (not up) when Prozac was first released.

There's also articles in the forum saying that such concerns are not well-founded.

Again, Daniel is correct. We have an entire subforum devoted to this issue at Suicide Risk with SSRIs and Other Medications

To summarize, there was never any real evidence that SSRIs "caused" people to become suicidal.

 

[Banned]

Let's pretend hospitalization is not an option because realistically it doesn't happen just because you want it to. We've thrown out dozens of suggestions or options which are not feasible for you, so what can you do to improve your situation without being in the hospital? Can you come up with an action plan that will make things better for you?

 

[ejh7070]

Let's pretend hospitalization is not an option because realistically it doesn't happen just because you want it to. We've thrown out dozens of suggestions or options which are not feasible for you, so what can you do to improve your situation without being in the hospital? Can you come up with an action plan that will make things better for you?

Not sure about the action plan. See if I had a job even at walmart which pays so little. I am still in a bind. It seems that the cost of living in my area alone. Not talking about the country of the usa. which is bad all over. But just here. I would need a job that pays at least $15 an hour just to get an apartment. So I could live the right way. I do not really care about tangible things I do like to read my books and also watch movies and have tv time. but when it comes down to it those cost money. Rent is sky high these days the cost to own a car is like out there since well gas has gone up so far people are left to walk to work and do other things.

Also I would have liked to go back to school and get a degree so I can have a better life. But then there is the cost of going to school.

all of those and more of what I have is depressing me to no end. I owe out to a loan company for higer education so I am not able to get a student loan.

my credit score is so low I would not be able to get a loan for anything so there is another depressing thing.

I do thank you turtle I just do not know where to go.

---------- Post added at 12:47 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:43 AM ----------

I also do thank you for your thoughts on the matter and also your inspiration to help me through this.

 

[Banned]

I've totally been in your situation, and in a sense I still am in many ways so I do understand. You do have a few things going for you - you live with your mom and step-dad which definitely helps. Rent split three ways is cheaper than one way. You're right in that it is hard out there right now, with housing and employment - the economy stinks in many ways. When you add everything up, like you did, no wonder it feels so overwhelming. Eighteen to twelve months ago I was over $100,000 in personal debt (credit card), had another $190,000 in business debt, no education, hated running my business, and really could not see an out to save my life, just like you. My credit sucked, I had no money, living at home not paying rent or anything. I felt like crap and was very suicidal. I just could not take another minute or another day. And I couldn't afford therapy or meds or anything. I was done.

But, I knew I didn't want to feel like this forever and I'd have to figure something out, and fast. I managed to remortgage my house to get rid of the lingering credit card debt that I didn't have a prayer of paying. I am (still) trying to sell my business but in the interim I'll do what I have to do. My credit is on the mend because I'm living on cash now. I got a job that has EFAP (Employee and Family Assistance Program) so if I need access to counselling, I have it, free of charge. I got a job doing something I love. I'm paying rent, taking my meds, and haven't been suicidal in about seven months and am finally at a place where I feel happy and hopeful. I also managed to scrounge up enough money to take a short college course that will give me a certificate so I can get a really good career once I graduate - one that pays well and is in high demand.

So, maybe the first step for you is to find a doctor who can help you get on anti-depressants. From there, you can start doing little things to create a better future. I know you mentioned about being able to afford them - do you belong to a church that could help you? Can your parents help you? There are generic anti-depressants that are just as effective and as Daniel mentioned getting them filled somewhere like Walgreens will help. You said you don't know if you'd qualify for Medi-caid (or whatever it is in the U.S) so can you do some solid research to find out what you can get? Start the process...

I don't mean to sound harsh so please don't take this the wrong way (I'm not always the best with words!) but it sounds like you want to pass the buck on your care to the hospital and that is why you are so determined to go there. Instead of making your problems someone else's, I think you really need to figure out what you can do to empower yourself to get better. I've learned that I can't rely on anybody but myself in this journey so I have to become my own advocate, as do you. That doesn't mean I can't use or access the tools that are out there, but ultimately it's up to me and I need to do what's in MY best interests...as do you.

If you can't afford meds and can't find anyone to help you, as Daniel said, exercise is truly the poor man's anti-depressant and maybe you can get a ride in to town one way and walk the other.

I would just really encourage you to take and maintain control of your health and recovery, in conjunction with a good treatment team as you are able. When you get to the point where you can make decisions for yourself knowing you're making the right decision - well, it just feels awesome. But we have to get you there. And you have to want to do the work.

 

[ejh7070]

Thank you Turtle for that long statement. To brighten ones life.

I do not even know where to begin on this. Not in a bad way or anything I just not sure what to say.

Well one thing is this I might live with mom and stepdad but they both are having there own issues. we live on 60 acres of land that my stepdads mom ownes. we have bills that we are not able to pay since my stepdad does not have work either he owns his own business which when he does get a job and if I am not working I am to help him but I do not get paid since he does not make much doing what he does.

walking to or from town is to much on me it is 12 miles one way and it hurts my legs.

I did it once and I found out I do not wish to do it again. It would be good if I can get a place in town but of course lack of funding.

A car would be good if I could afford the insurance then I have opportunity's to find work in other towns close by

and possibly go to school again. I know there is money out there for college and such.

I do not know what more to say.

Well not sure what else to say at this time I though would like to thank turtle and Daniel for there help

 

[Banned]

12 miles is definitely a long way to walk. Maybe scratch that idea .

An option might be to see if you can qualify for low-income housing in a bigger town where you have the ability to walk to work - doctor - whatever. Can you qualify for social assistance if you were to rent a room in a bigger town? Any money is better than no money. Well, not *any* money - counterfeit is not better :lol:.

It sounds from what you've written that a lot is stemming from the fact that you live so far out with no vehicle. So...can you address that issue by applying for social assistance and getting a room in town?

 

[ejh7070]

There is a place in town it would cost $60 for me to get in but I do not have a bed nor away to pay for electric or cable for the tv I know tv is not important but it helps keep me not thinking about things i should not be thinking about like depression.

And I would not know what to do if I did not have my computer and online activity. That keeps the brain moving to.

 

[greenstarz]

You should try looking up Job and Family Services Dept for the state you live in, a lot of times you can apply for benefits---not just healthcare (medicaid), but housing and food assistance, utility assistance, transportation assistance, etc---online. at least in my state you can do that. Also, have you thought about applying for the Pell Grant for school. It's a Grant---which you don't have to pay back---and it's based on low income. Just some ideas...

 

[ejh7070]

You should try looking up Job and Family Services Dept for the state you live in, a lot of times you can apply for benefits---not just healthcare (medicaid), but housing and food assistance, utility assistance, transportation assistance, etc---online. at least in my state you can do that. Also, have you thought about applying for the Pell Grant for school. It's a Grant---which you don't have to pay back---and it's based on low income. Just some ideas...

Thank you Greenstarz I have gotten a pell grant once before and it was only for $700 the rest of the bill I had to pay by myself though i did get a loan from sallie mae foundation for the rest of the bill I though did not continue the course and well now I am paying for something that is not benefiting me.

and for the other stuff my food is taken care of not sure on the other stuff I will have to look into that.

Thank you again

 

[Banned]

I slept on the floor for years, but I think I'd die without my internet. If I had to choose between a bed or the internet, I'd take the internet. Sad but true.

 

[Daniel E.]

Did you apply for night-time positions as well? e.g. Walmart does a lot of stocking at night. Though shift work isn't exactly great for depression, a night shift would allow you more flexibility with regards to borrowing the car.

In any case, you have said that you are not able to drive now anyway because of your eyesight, so I would suggest working on that first, especially since it could require a few weeks of waiting (maybe even longer). That way, you can drive yourself to the resources in your community, such as those that may be provided by the United Way.

---------- Post added at 11:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

BTW, for links to more resources:

Disability.gov

 

[ejh7070]

Did you apply for night-time positions as well? e.g. Walmart does a lot of stocking at night. Though shift work isn't exactly great for depression, a night shift would allow you more flexibility with regards to borrowing the car.

In any case, you have said that you are not able to drive now anyway because of your eyesight, so I would suggest working on that first, especially since it could require a few weeks of waiting (maybe even longer). That way, you can drive yourself to the resources in your community, such as those that may be provided by the United Way.

---------- Post added at 11:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

BTW, for links to more resources:

Disability.gov

Thank you Daniel. They would not let me borrow the van I also can not drive the stepdads van do to the way the seat is broken

I could put in for over night but I would have to get there before 9 my stepdad is not allowed out after 10pm so it stinks.

I am going to make some calls today to see if I can get in.

Thank you again.