My husband and HIS children...

[brickhouse]

I'm at a stand still...i married my husband who has been divorced and has 2 sons. I got along great with them and loved spending time with them. now... honestly, since their mom has gotten a new boyfriend...things have totally changed. it has been progressing, but...

they no longer listen to me period, and don't want me involved in anything, and are always asking about whether their mom and her boyfriend can join with them and their dad...oh, and their half-brother (our son together). NOT me at all.

they continously disrespect me...i'm so frustrated. my husband and i have had *(and ARE, although he refuses to admit it) problems. I do not want my son raised the way his two already are. no discipline and they get whatever they want.

i could just cry because i have literally tried everything to help our relationship. he refuses to go to marriage counseling...when i ask why...his past experience with his ex is his excuse.
i don't know what to do. i don't want to seperate for the sake of our son, but i am not happy...and i have told him this and he is trying to change, but he doesn't realize that the biggest problem are his two sons. i do not trust them around my son because they are not careful and i do not trust them....

i don't know....i cry about this so much lately. having bipolar doesn't help (and he likes to blame it on that). i am NOT depressed...just frustrated, at the end my line, and don't know what else to do because i have literally tried everything.

HELP!!!

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You know, even if he refuses to go to marriage counselling, there is always the option of going yourself. You might with the help of the counsellor be able to figure out a way to get him there. Or you might discover some ways for you to cope better with the situation.

 

[brickhouse]

thanx...he did go once after i was admitted the second time...but now he reverts (or uses the excuse) of what happened with his ex...
i only wish that you knew everything that has happened, everything that i have tried...i always give in.
i no longer know if i'm doing the right thing. and now with a baby in the picture i really question it.
he knows i've been stressed and i admitted i was unhappy and etc...
he said to give him 3 weeks (gee, go figure after the holidays)...but that's him only...nothing about his 2 sons...???
i cry about this almost ever night. i do see a therapist (not enough do to insurance issues)...i just can't seem to do enough...
he is very verbal, mentally and emotionally abusive (refuses to admit it), and has a few times been physical...yet i put up with it. love is a very strong thing...but i think i'm to the breaking point. i told him that i believe that the reason his boys really refuse to want to do anything with me or listen to me is because he has REPEATEDLY yelled at me in front of them...pointless arguements where i walk out of the room and he continues while raising his voice.
i cry...too often. i DO NOT AND REFUSE TO RELAPSE! for my own sake, but most of all my son's.
???

 

[Into The Light]

he is very verbal, mentally and emotionally abusive (refuses to admit it), and has a few times been physical...yet i put up with it. love is a very strong thing...but i think i'm to the breaking point. i told him that i believe that the reason his boys really refuse to want to do anything with me or listen to me is because he has REPEATEDLY yelled at me in front of them

that is probably why the boys aren't showing you any respect. they aren't seeing your husband giving you any respect, and they think that's acceptable behaviour.

you may want to cut your losses. this is not a good environment for you or your son. i would definitely be discussing this with your therapist to help you decide what you can do about the situation you're in.

 

[Halo]

i would definitely be discussing this with your therapist to help you decide what you can do about the situation you're in.

I think this is some good advice