Scared to work

[gooblax]

As it’s something that’s inescapable (especially with constant family pressure), I’ve contacted a few companies and had two interviews this week.

I can’t seem to escape the thought that if got a job, I’d be in a near-constant state of controlled terror. If I continue getting myself into interview situations, I imagine that I’ll eventually not mess up enough that someone will want to hire me. While that’s generally the point of getting job interviews, being hired sounds like a terrifying, undesirable option. Constant, forced interaction and continual performance judgement. I don’t know how anyone manages it.

I have to brace myself just to check my emails in case I get one that I’ll have to reply to, and it can take hours including procrastination time to respond to a single one (and that’s if I even reply the day that I see it). It’s that much harder when those emails are about trying to get something that frightens me. It’s about on par with discussing the arrangements to be made for a sealed wasp-human cohabitation experiment in my bedroom.

I know most people just do it because it has to be done. And it’s the only way I can physically get to where I want to be, which is why I’m trying. I just had to write this out somewhere though, because trying to combat the fear is so hard.

 

[Retired]

Constant, forced interaction and continual performance judgement. I don?t know how anyone manages it.

I think the key is to find a line of work that is within your stress level, and consistent with the education and skills you possess.

Things can become stressful when you're over your head, either by time constraints or by competence limitations.

Have you already had a job, and if so, how did that work out?

Have you ever been evaluated for what type of work you might be best suited? What kind of work are you applying for?

 

[gooblax]

Thanks for your reply, Steve.

I haven't ever been evaluated for that.

To finish off my aeronautical engineering degree, I need to do 12 weeks of work experience in an engineering field. The most relevant place I'd applied at was an aerospace company, otherwise civil eng. companies. I missed the deadlines of larger companies with organised internship programs because I wasn't willing to confront my fears about it at the time, so I've had to target smaller companies that don't have application deadlines or had very late ones.

I had a brief experience in a situation where I didn't have the skills for the 'job'. It was unpaid but I felt constantly in the way and useless, even though the main point of my being there was to learn some skills that I wanted to learn. The positive spin regarding that is that it wasn't the right environment for me to be learning those skills. But then that means having to avoid similar environments for learning anything, and I'm not sure how much of it can be avoided.

Other than a single day of stocktaking, I've only had one paid job. There, I had to constantly ask the supervisor which task to do next because that was how she wanted to assign work. That in itself would make me nervous, along with the persistent worry of messing something up in the tasks I wasn't particularly good at (I'd make mistakes with about 3/5 regular tasks, while the other 2 were relatively fine). Early next year, I've organised to start tutoring someone in a programming subject I had to learn as part of my degree, but that will probably be just 1 hour a week.

 

[gooblax]

Update: Well, got the aero job that my last interview was for. I suppose that's good, in the sense that it's the best outcome.