Lonewolf
Member
I have tried several times to reach out on here which hurts so much, but they just seem to simply disappear!! Have I upset anyone? Please tell me if ive done something wrong cos I really need you guys!!!
- Thread starter Lonewolf
- Start date
forgetmenot
MVP
Re: very stressed!
You have not upset me hun i am sorry you are under so much stress and pain. Are you medication to help you decrease the anxiety or stress If talking here helps you then post ok
You have not upset me hun i am sorry you are under so much stress and pain. Are you medication to help you decrease the anxiety or stress If talking here helps you then post ok
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
It's possible your posts have been moved to a different (more appropriate) part of the forum, Reeper. Try searching from Recent Posts in the top navigation bar, or search from your My Profile link at the top right of the header.
Alternatively, it's possible that the title of your thread may have been edited to better reflect the content of the thread.
I don't recall any of your posts being deleted.
Alternatively, it's possible that the title of your thread may have been edited to better reflect the content of the thread.
I don't recall any of your posts being deleted.
Lonewolf
Member
The posts seem to disappear as soon as I pressed 'post quick reply' button!! I have had a quick look around and cannot find them, but seems to be working now I presume!!! Thanks anyway!!!
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Oh, I see... you might have to just refresh the page (hit <F5> or click on reload or refresh in your browser) to see them. They're probably not actually gone. 
Lonewolf
Member
im sorry it seems that Ive moaned about something and then not actually stayed to work it out but ive been sobbing so much im exhausted now! Im gonna have a rest and get back here later!! I really need you guys right now!!
forgetmenot
MVP
you have not said what is stressing you out thereeper
Lonewolf
Member
lol!! I feel really daft about it! Yesturday I went to a group meeting just to suss out what we would be doing for the next month, but it always seems to get rather heated towards the end of them! And it did (I have never managed to stay for a whole meeting) A friend got very upset and because im very sensitive to atmosphere, I was quite effected by it!!! Unfortunately, because I recently had my birthday and this meeting, I am having nasty flashbacks and emotions hitting me hard and fast! reminding me of the 'reviews' I had to attend when I was in care and people getting very upset and angry!!! I realise I am not a child, but I feel very insecure!! Am feeling quite emotional and don't really know why ive let it get to me like this??
Im really sorry if I annoyed anyone yesterday, I was getting very frustrated because I was trying to talk to someone before I got too overwhelmed, but everytime I tried to reach out my threads or posts were disappearing and it was getting harder and harder to bear!! I have got myself into a bit of a mess and im struggling to straighten myself out!!
Im really sorry if I annoyed anyone yesterday, I was getting very frustrated because I was trying to talk to someone before I got too overwhelmed, but everytime I tried to reach out my threads or posts were disappearing and it was getting harder and harder to bear!! I have got myself into a bit of a mess and im struggling to straighten myself out!!
Don't worry hun your posts were not annoying, it is stressful sometimes when you don't know what is going on.
It is really hard when we are highly empathic or emotional boundaries are low, and we get highly embroiled with the emotions of others.
I get this with a certain family member sometimes. I have not yet fully worked out how to build that boundary or separateness of feelings as much as I'd prefer. It's a difficult thing.
Sometimes for those who suffer a lot with this, I wonder if there might be a past reason for extra stress with emotional situations.... I wonder if in the past or at home, kids' emotions were not allowed or were punished or reacted to inaporopriately - so emotional situations meant 'trouble' or 'danger' or 'threat' .... so it is hard to see emotions and mentally let them be as they are, and feel safe.
Maybe it is possible to remind ourselves that emotions can be safe, and the emotions of others can be as they are and are not dangerous or threatening, and don't have any meaning beyond another person having feelings which are their own; something we don't need to feel responsible for or take on.... no significance of trouble and no dangerous meaning.....these things may come from a more primal unconscious part of the brain though, so it may not always work that way....
It's great work that you have been doing something like this - wow! A group is something I think you were extremely afraid of in the past. It's amazing you have been able to do this!
Hmm.... is there a group leader or guide I wonder, who might be able to offer guidance in the stress of being around strong emotions of others?
I wonder too...... sometimes in controlling and invalidating families, there can also be a thing where we learn to be 'hyper-responsive' to even quite mild verbal or body-language type cues in the people around us. Those get used as 'warnings' or 'controls' for us. And so then later in life we start to oversensitively pick those cues up in other people, as 'warnings of rejection' or 'warnings of hurt', or warnings that we are in trouble or someone is going to be angry. When in reality, that meaning might now not be accurate out in the world now, in a different setting to dysfunctional home environments or past environments.
Something to think about.
Hope the stressful feelings settle down for you a bit soon. xx
It is really hard when we are highly empathic or emotional boundaries are low, and we get highly embroiled with the emotions of others.
I get this with a certain family member sometimes. I have not yet fully worked out how to build that boundary or separateness of feelings as much as I'd prefer. It's a difficult thing.
Sometimes for those who suffer a lot with this, I wonder if there might be a past reason for extra stress with emotional situations.... I wonder if in the past or at home, kids' emotions were not allowed or were punished or reacted to inaporopriately - so emotional situations meant 'trouble' or 'danger' or 'threat' .... so it is hard to see emotions and mentally let them be as they are, and feel safe.
Maybe it is possible to remind ourselves that emotions can be safe, and the emotions of others can be as they are and are not dangerous or threatening, and don't have any meaning beyond another person having feelings which are their own; something we don't need to feel responsible for or take on.... no significance of trouble and no dangerous meaning.....these things may come from a more primal unconscious part of the brain though, so it may not always work that way....
It's great work that you have been doing something like this - wow! A group is something I think you were extremely afraid of in the past. It's amazing you have been able to do this!
Hmm.... is there a group leader or guide I wonder, who might be able to offer guidance in the stress of being around strong emotions of others?
I wonder too...... sometimes in controlling and invalidating families, there can also be a thing where we learn to be 'hyper-responsive' to even quite mild verbal or body-language type cues in the people around us. Those get used as 'warnings' or 'controls' for us. And so then later in life we start to oversensitively pick those cues up in other people, as 'warnings of rejection' or 'warnings of hurt', or warnings that we are in trouble or someone is going to be angry. When in reality, that meaning might now not be accurate out in the world now, in a different setting to dysfunctional home environments or past environments.
Something to think about.
Hope the stressful feelings settle down for you a bit soon. xx
I'm sure no one is annoyed. You are perfectly free to question what might seem to be a technical or administrative glitch on the Forum....any question is a valid question that deserves an answer.
What's most important is to know any issue you have noticed with your posts has been resolved.
I might point out a tip regarding our Forum software.
Sometimes, and I've done it myself, instead of hitting the "Post Quick Reply" button at the BOTTOM RIGHT of the message composition window, I mistakenly hit the "REPLY TO THREAD" button at the top left of the message composition window.
If you hit the "Reply to thread" (upper left) you will lose your post, because the software thinks you want to compose a new message, and opens a new message composition window.
If you ever lose a post while writing it, the Forum software has a safety backup feature that allows you to retrieve your partially written lost post.
Return to the thread in question, start a new reply to the thread and at the bottom left of the message composition window you will notice a message "Restore Auto Saved Content"
Hit that button and Voila! Your text is restored.
I've inadvertently messed myself up at times by looking at previews of the post and thinking I had posted the message, went on to something else and in fact, did not hit the correct "Post" button..
The "Auto Save" feature saved my frustration..
For me, I attribute it to senior moments...
Bottom line, Reeper, you can always feel comfortable to speak out if you have a question or concern here.....we're always available to help.
Lonewolf
Member
I can relate to a lot of this MHealthJo! Thanks for that!!! I didn't realise that we could be effected like that for so long and so intensely!
No problem at all Reeper. That's why I'm so happy and proud that you are waiting on the list to get the therapy, and glad that you bravely talk about things here as well. It is so stressful and scary to be worrying and be highly sensitive to every little detail of what happens around us isn't it.... and the insight of therapy and reading, and the caring talk about it that you will get (or that you can also get here) will be such a good help to you.
Glad that you kept trying to reach out here too, how unfortunate to have a weird confusing tech thing happen at a bad time while you are highly panicked! You did well. xx
Glad that you kept trying to reach out here too, how unfortunate to have a weird confusing tech thing happen at a bad time while you are highly panicked! You did well.
xx
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