Anti-Canadian Content (Laughing With Us, Not At Us) Pt. 5

[Daniel E.]

"how more canadian can you get than tim horton's new maple cinnamon french toast bagel?"

"hmmm, which plaid shirt shall i wear today?"

"Prince Edward Island, why does that little speckle have the longest name?"

"when you forget your 'environmentally friendly' grocery bags and have to pay 5 cents for each plastic one"

"Woke up this morning, my igloo melted and my moose ran away."

Source: twitter.com/CanadianProbz

 

[Cat Dancer]

"how more canadian can you get than tim horton's new maple cinnamon french toast bagel?"

You could throw poutine makings on it.

 

[Daniel E.]

And when having breakfast at home, top last night's poutine with a fried egg:

 

[Daniel E.]

Oxymorons (feel free to add to the list):

southern Canada
winter lifestyle
poutine nutrition facts
impolite Canadian
Toronto charm
Canadian cuisine
American hockey

 

[Cat Dancer]

Dear wonderful Canadian friends,

Please keep your bleeping cold weather and your bleeping snow to yourselves this winter.

Thank you,

A concerned U.S. citizen.

(I know it's not really ALL your fault. But someone must take the blame.)

 

[Daniel E.]

Of course, with their recession-resistant, poutine-based economy, I don't think they care.

 

[making_art]

Oxymorons (feel free to add to the list):

southern Canada
winter lifestyle
poutine nutrition facts
impolite Canadian
Toronto charm
Canadian cuisine
American hockey

Hells Angels
Compassionate conservative
Icy water
Postal service

 

[Daniel E.]

Postal service

[SIGN]10/10[/SIGN]

 

[Daniel E.]

Positive psychology exercises during Canadian winters:

• Writing letters of gratitude to the Queen.
• Watching water pipes freeze as a way to be more mindful.
• Embracing vulnerability by opening a window.
• Increasing distress tolerance by not watching hockey.
• Becoming more assertive by pretending to be American.
• Forgiving oneself for not planning a winter getaway.
• Socializing more with the less fortunate by visiting loved ones in Toronto.

 

[Daniel E.]

Life in Banff, Alberta (YouTube -- fullscreen)

 

[David Baxter PhD]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

Canadian mindfulness quotes:

"Peace is every step north."

"Presence is when you're no longer waiting for the next moment, believing that the next moment will be warmer than this one."

"A true warrior is always armed with three things: the radiant sword of pacification; the mirror of bravery, wisdom, and friendship; and the delicious jewel of poutine."

"Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to be able to sit in the snow."

"Can you imagine yourself as a beaver, rather than as a machine?"

“There is no way to Canada. Canada is the way.”

“As soon as we wish to be warm, we are no longer warm.”

“There is no enlightenment outside of the hockey rink.”

"Nothing endures but snow.”

"The fastest progress is achieved by those who drink bagged milk."

"Winter: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn…"

 

[Daniel E.]

Pro-Florida, anti-Canada propaganda:

When you are in low temperatures outdoors, your cardiovascular system also tends to respond by increasing blood pressure and heart rate, which can promote a heart attack.

6 Cold Weather Exercise Tips

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[forgetmenot]

I think the wildlife win i liked how the deer chased the hunters lol

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

From episodes of How I Met Your Mother:

Robin: How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?
Barney: It’s Canada. Question one: Do you want to be Canadian? Question two: Really?

Barney: Butterscotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women.