Considering suicide

[Lonewolf]

I don't know what i am really allowed to say on here but i have made plans! (with the help of certain internet sites) I am not sure when, but il have what i need when i decide to do it!! I know people say if you talk about it, you aren't really going to do it, but is that true? Am i being impulsive? Isn't our first thought always the best one? Can i rely on internet sites? Im sorry, im so so sorry!! Im just feeling so daughted by the future now, i don't know how to carry on! I feel like im in the way, i feel like im taking up space and oxygen that i really don't deserve!! mg: i apologise, im sorry!!

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: planning!

Hun i hear your pain i do but internet is not reliable and you hun are not a waste of space. I too have a plan ok i have had one for awhile but that does not mean i have to act on it. I can relate to your post the future so confusing so overwhelming at times Please hun don't look so far ahead ok You just take one day today and get through it ok
Try not to go past the moment you are in. I sometimes just take an hour and say i can make it through The thing with suicide hun if it fails and most likely it will youare going to live perhaps with the after mass of that attempt.

Please hun reach out to your doctor talk to your doctor talk to your family and get the supports you deserve ok. I too am at a point where if i don't get help then my impulses may make me make wrong choices.

Do that for you make plans to help you ok set up a plan that when everything get too much you have a phone number to call you have a place to go to to keep you safe
Internet is NOT reliable source for anything hun stay off those sites ok

You deserve only compassion and care and support hun reach out and get it

 

[Lonewolf]

Re: planning!

Lol, its family that got me like this! there's no way i can talk to them!! im not good at talking to strangers and im frightend of my GP, basically im in this alone!! I wonder if im worth all the struggle!!

 

[gooblax]

Re: planning!

You are worth the struggle, and you owe it to yourself to make a productive "counter-plan" to reach out for help from a professional service. Instead of suicide, why not try something that has the potential to help, first?

 

[Retired]

Re: planning!

Sorry to hear about your situation, Reeper. What has your family done to bring you to feel suicide is your only option?

Is there anyone at all on your life with whom you have rapport at this time and why have you lost confidence in your doctor?

 

[Lonewolf]

Re: Planning!

There is no one out there for me! Only strangers!! mg:

 

[MHealthJo]

Re: Planning!

We were strangers to you at first, but by reaching out bravely to us, you have done well and have been able to have the experience where we have been able to be there for you. You have been able to have the experience where you found that we were safe enough to talk to and offer support and help..... We are so glad that you have got that support for yourself here.

I believe if you stick with trying to stay connected to some healthy resources, healthy places and things like that, you can come to no longer feel alone, and feel that you have friends and support here ... that you are not all alone in this.

And notice that the same thing can be possible for other sources of help and support - just like you realised it was okay to reach to us, the same thing can happen with the other ways you can get help and support.

Use that.... Use it as proof that you can receive help, if you keep reaching for it....

Please be sure to call emergency, open up to other support services, or a doctor instead of using your other plan. It could be the chance to get well and have a different life .With those who have found it so hard to trust and receive help and support, sometimes a crisis gives that opportunity... being forced to make that phone call or tell that you need more help and you have thoughts of suicide and/or a plan. It becomes that push which caused a positive change for the person, if they made the great choice to reach for help at that time.

So please be sure to have a good plan that you will use, instead of the other plan. Because you deserve to live, and to feel much more safe and well.

Take what you deserve - help and support. Don't accept the fate that you don't deserve. Give yourself the chance to learn that good things are what you do deserve, and you CAN have them. (Even if those things are hard to believe just yet.)

Would you be comfortable if we knew what country or area you are in? We might be able to find some good phone numbers and resources for you?

xx

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Title of thread changed to be less triggering.

 

[Lonewolf]

sorry!! :hide:

 

[forgetmenot]

It is ok hun keep talking to us ok no need to be afraid hugs

 

[Lonewolf]

i just don't know what im able to say anymore! i am so frightend with everything, but i keep putting my foot in it!! Its making me more anxious cos i feel like im causing problems on these forums and these are the only places i can be anonymous and be honest about things!! I knew it was too good to be true!!(like everything else, why am i surprised), im sorry!!

 

[David Baxter PhD]

What problems do you think you're causing here?

 

[Lonewolf]

I don't know really! It takes so much strength for me to talk and ive had a couple of warnings and corrections!! Don't get me wrong, i understand why and i understand other people may be influenced or upset by it! I feel that all my confidence has gone and im too scared to talk anymore!! Im really sorry, i feel like a right idiot and very embarrassed!! I know its nothing personal!! Im just feeling a little fragile!!

 

[David Baxter PhD]

We have moderators and administrators here to monitor such things. If you post something triggering, it will be edited and corrected, and if you make a habit of it we'll try to be more specific in our instructions, but for now try not to worry too much about it.

 

[MHealthJo]

Yes honey, please don't worry about it in that way!

To be honest, I am not too sure about what exactly would be considered triggering in some cases, either.

Like I know that, say, if I described in detail the graphic, physical details of abuse for example, then that would be triggering. But I am not sure, in each case, how I would express something in a more general way instead or exactly where to draw each line.

And in other topics such as this thread, I wouldn't know the full details of how to minimise triggering, either.

It is tricky when people start out, and can still be a little confusing even for some who are more experienced. So please do not worry too much!

And when something you post gets adjusted please do not feel awful - gradually you will get the hang of it but for a while it is hard to be sure. And sometimes experienced members also just forget or just don't do it the "best" it can possibly be done - so as a helping hand, the administrators just adjust something and explain why.

Maybe Dr Baxter or someone who knows of a location, could direct you to a link of our explanation of how to be the least triggering?

If you find that information explaining it, and do your best with that info, then that is all anyone can ask. And the admins may still make an adjustment sometimes. And that's okay and does not mean you are in trouble or have done something bad. xx

 

[Banned]

Maybe Dr Baxter or someone who knows of a location, could direct you to a link of our explanation of how to be the least triggering?
xx

Triggering content that will be edited includes graphic and / or specific details of certain acts or thoughts such as self harm or suicide attempts, abuse, etc. In the eating disorder threads we edit specific numbers that refer to weight loss or gain.

A good way to think of it is that this is a "self HELP" forum. Is what you're posting likely to be helpful or harmful to someone else reading it? If its likely to be harmful or upsetting we may edit the details to keep Psychlinks safe for both registered and non-registered users.

If you are still unsure, thereeper, the Forum Rules have more detailed information on what is and is not permitted.

 

[Lonewolf]

Im still here, waiting! I don't know why? Im not sure who im here for? i dont feel im living a life, its more that im existing! Feeling so low, deserted, abandoned, unwanted, unneeded!! Is this punishment for me?? Have i been that bad? Maybe?

 

[Retired]

Is this punishment for me?? Have i been that bad?

No this is not punishment nor any kind of retribution for anything in your life.

It is, however a form of mental illness, dominated by distorted thinking where your thoughts of hopelessness and depression are driving your emotions.

Thankfully you have had the presence of mind to reach out for support, and you have been given some good advice since you joined Psychlinks.

You need to seek professional help in your area, by calling your doctor, your therapist or perhaps a spiritual advisor who can help keep you safe, treat your symptoms to allow you to consider your options to solve the problems in your life, in a rational manner.

Suicide is not a solution, but rather results in a number of problems for others, even if, as you say, you have no one in your life.

Have you contacted a local Crisis Hotline for direction and support?

If you don't know how to find a local crisis hotline, tell us where you are located and we'll get you the local contact information.

 

[Lonewolf]

thanks for the offer lol, but i just don't want to waste anyones time and i feel thats exactly what i am!! sorry!!

 

[Retired]

i just don't want to waste anyones time and i feel thats exactly what i am!!

Why do you feel that way?

People are here and those volunteering on crisis lines are there to lend an ear and provide some support.

They wouldn't be doing that kind of work unless they cared for people, enjoyed interacting with people and in the end trying to help.

I don't quite understand what you are looking for.