I have a couple of things. I'm really trying to see the positives.
My dad and his wife arrived in the country on Wednesday for a three week visit. Haven't seen them in several months. They're coming on Sunday to visit me in the hospital and hopefully I'll be able to go with them to go to my sisters and they'll drop me back to the hospital on their way back to the central if the country where they are staying. I want to be a part of it, to see my dad and his wife see my nieces and see them interact with them. Especially the eldest as she's obviously advanced so much in the last several months. Hopefully I'll feel well enough to go.
Last night, I gave a patient a big warm hug. Any contact between patients is not allowed but I really wanted to give him a warm caring hug so I did. He's American and around my age and talks to me about his problems like the troubles he has with his family and stuff. He's pretty much in a different world, the poor thing, but he really appreciated the hug. (Just need to keep the boundaries in place there).
I guess I have a third thing also. I'm currently in bed under two blankets, am being taken care of and provided for in the hospital, the radiator is on and it's blowing a storm outside. Looks like winter is finally here. I'm thankful for having long-term free healthcare like this.
Hardly slept during the night and woke up having a panic attack but managed to sleep a couple of hours on the morning and made up for it with no bad dreams.
It doesn't happen often but I felt calm and OK enough to take a shower this lunchtime with lots of nice body products like vanilla body cream and coconut hair conditioner.
My dad and his wife are in the country and are coming tomorrow to visit me at the hospital. My first visit by anyone in several months and haven't seen them in several months either. Hopefully I will feel well enough to leave the hospital with them to go to my sisters and be with everyone and the babies.
I showered this afternoon and well, it's been a while. Changed to new fresh clothes and feel good from it.
My grandfather is a very difficult person to deal with but he's living by himself in England and is 86 years old. I've called him twice in the last two days because he's very lonely and wants to know what's going on with me. So I'm keeping him updated and he's happy about it.
Have an extremely difficult new roommate. She scares me to be honest but I've been standing up for myself for the first time in my life, telling her she can't smoke in the room, that she can't put music on at 12am with no headphones etc. The girl us very sick so I'm trying to find some compassion but, still, she needs to understand that there are rules and that she's not the only one living in the room with us. It's all life experience.
got up enough courage to call someone i cared about to make sure she was ok and although she is struggling she is still fighting it was good to hear her voice
made spaghetti for supper took some to my twin and mother
bought my son some shirts today he always wears his shirt out lol
My Goodness FMN... you're a busy lady - and so well connected with family...
My three positive things today...
1. Decided to put up mininal but attractive Xmas decorations.... less is more...
2. Made a huge pot of butt burnin' lentil curry - and gave some to the dogs too, with rice. :facepalm:
They totally loved it - hey... who cares about the "end product"...they seem to be just fine....
3. Going to make hot chocolate with cinammon a nightly ritual... so soothing...and it helps me sleep
Had a good, busy weekend with friends and family.
I don't think I left anything important at my parents' house.
Bought a new phone! I'm still in uber-protective mode with it, so at the moment it's staying in its box with the branded plastic stickers still on it, obstructing proper use. It might be allowed outside in a month or so.
ECT has started off on a positive note. It looks hopeful. Having my next treatment on Friday.
Spoke with my 86 year old grandfather who's in England and told him how the procedure went. He's very lonely and was really happy to hear from me. I told him at the end of the conversation that I love him and even though he can't (and has never) been able to say it back to me, I still heard that he had appreciated me saying and meaning it.
Spent 6 hours with my dad in the hospital after having the ECT done yesterday. We chatted about a ton of things. Very open and honest conversation. Wasn't always easy but glad we did it.
Generally things are opening up and coming out of me for the first time in my life and it's giving me both pain and relief. But at least relief goes with it too!
Got courage and Phoned several people today re screw up bank finally hopefully things are fixed talked with Manager should of went right there first
tired now going to try to rest unwind from that stress
will bring my twin her much deserved coffee